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Am I wrong? & Does it matter?


Nicolyyy

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I am a girl. I like to dress in boy clothes that look like they could be somewhat neutral but the way my mom sees it is....MY DAUGHTER IS TRYING TO BE A BOYYYYY AHHHH!!!!😲 Which I have no intentions of doing...I just like the style really. Recently I brought up getting a short haircut and she doesn't think of it as a good idea. She thinks I am trying to be "creative" with my gender. For prom, I don't want a dress which she completely opposed saying I should look feminine and a few other things saying that she wanted to see me all prettied up and nice basically. Also other students will make assumptions but It's just clothes and hair why is such a big deal being made out of it. So dressing like the opposite gender is bad apparently. Does it really matter? 😮

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Miss Anne Thrope

I am a girl. I have short hair, I don't wear makeup, I dislike dresses, and I sometimes wear boyish clothes - some of them coming from the "boy" clothes section. Non of these things make me any less of a girl. I present myself the way I do because it makes me happy and comfortable - I even fell especially attractive in some of my more masculine outfits. It has nothing to do with my gender.

Is this how it is for you when you dress in a more masculine way? If so, tell your mom that. Tell her that you are a girl, that the look of your clothes and hair doesn't change that, and that you like to dress that way because it makes you feel good. If she still argues, ask her why it's "important" to look feminine. Ask if her reasons are more important than your happiness (here's a hint: they're not). Also, remind her that your old enough to dress yourself, you deserve some freedom to find your likes and dislikes, and that you could always decide to be more "feminine" later if being more "masculine" doesn't work out (saying that last part may help to reassure her that it's just a phase, even if it isn't. She may be more forgiving if she thinks it's temporary, and by the time she realizes that it's not, she'll have a harder time arguing against it.)

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:) Hello, and welcome! :cake:

 

I just thought I'd provide some reassurance that you're not alone in going through something like that. My mother intially reacted the same way, telling me that "Those are for boys!," but after a while, she eventually didn't have a problem with it. I'd hope that your mother just needs time to accept how you feel; perhaps she's just worried you'll be bullied or laughed at by others who might misgender you as a boy and doesn't want to see you get hurt.

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Your mother is overreacting. If you have the opportunity, dress the way you are comfortable. 

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seriously, like, identity & expression are 2 v. diiferent things, also I feel ya, kinda want to wear a dress to teh dance... but because I'm genderflux.

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