Do you feel uncomfortable when someone approaches you with romantic intentions?

[Blue sun]

I have realized that I'm pretty good at detecting it, even when the person is not flattering with me, I just feel that somehow they like me and try to see if they can get me and I immediately become in this really cold person who doesn't say it verbally but clearly paints a "back off" line, it just makes me feel uncomfortable as heck!

[Palovana]

I find it completely delusional on their part. Here's a complete stranger who sees me (probably has been watching me and following me the entire time I've been in the vicinity without my knowledge) and must be pretty convinced for whatever reason that I'm A} straight; B) single; and C) that they have a decent shot of getting my number or wanting to go out with them. You're a STRANGER. Get away from me. 

[Philip027]

If I have had little to no prior engagement with this person, then yeah, it probably would.

 

But if they're at least on friend status, I'd probably find it flattering.  I'm cool with romantic intentions most of the time, just not sexual ones.

[Visenya]

Usually, yes. Most guys I've met are very straightforward, so I've never been through the experience of losing a friend after rejecting them. They're usually just complete strangers or someone I talked to for 10~15 minutes, tops. Most guys have never tried to be friends with me, so I've always felt comfortable enough to be straightforward as well and tell them I'm not interested. The downside of it is that I find it weird not to get to know someone first before making a move on them. I feel disappointed, repulsed, and confused, because I don't understand why someone thinks that I'd hookup with a guy I barely talked to. That's what makes me more uncomfortable... Well, that and the fact that some men don't know how to take rejection gracefully (some can become angry, needy, rude and/or pushy).

[Blue sun]

Ikr! I also question myself that, hookups or just even kissing a stranger it's just so weird for me to process, because I could totally understand if it was your friend.

 

When I cross myself with those who are clearly hitting on me at the very first time of meeting I seriously can be more cold than a stone and answer their questions like "yes" "no" "I don't know" with a very cold voice tone. But inside I know I'm really nice haha.

[Hermit Advocate]

Yes. It makes me uncomfortable and I tend to treat them coldly to get them to back off. I know I should probably just say I'm not interested instead, but unless they actually act on their interest and ask me out or something, I prefer to try to dissuade them without actually having to say anything. 

[Blue sun]

7 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Yes. It makes me uncomfortable and I tend to treat them coldly to get them to back off. I know I should probably just say I'm not interested instead, but unless they actually act on their interest and ask me out or something, I prefer to try to dissuade them without actually having to say anything. 

Just like I do hahaha.

[Tos]

yes, it does make me uncomfortable, but only when i know the person well. if it's a complete stranger  or even someone i know, but not very well, it's fine. i think this is because romantic intentions means feelings are involved, and i don't want to hurt the feelings of or make things awkward with people i'm close to/interact with often. if i don't know them very well it's easier because there are fewer consequences.

[lilgroundhog]

Yes, if I think someone is interested in me is creeps me out, regardless of who it is.  I think I'm lucky because my obliviousness probably takes care of its fair share.

[Fantastic Name]

I find it flattering, but also extremely awkward. I immediately start being suspiscious and I try to determine in my head whether or not the person has any ulterior motives behind it all. I dunno. I'd much rather be their friend than in a relationship with them, to be honest.

[smack12776]

On 12/9/2017 at 9:32 PM, Hermit Advocate said:

Yes. It makes me uncomfortable and I tend to treat them coldly to get them to back off. I know I should probably just say I'm not interested instead, but unless they actually act on their interest and ask me out or something, I prefer to try to dissuade them without actually having to say anything. 

+1 on this.

 

Also, compliments make me extremely uncomfortable. I'm always distrustful of them and the implications of reciprocating them. I've learned to accept them but I die a little inside every time I do.

[Guest]

I'm so uncomfortable around people in general that I'm sure they think I'm a psychopath or some other villain that I rarely get approached at all, romantically or otherwise. But its okay that way I can be a shut in with a clean conscience!.🐸

[CinnamonBun]

Oh yes. Dear God, yes. It makes me so uncomfortable, and it's even worse when I'm oblivious and naive as eff and I don't realize it until the people I hang with tell me "yo this dude/girl is looking to ask you out" and I immediately get this grimace of both ... disgust and shock as if I'm almost repulsed by the fact that someone would find me attractive and repulsed by the fact that they want to be close with me both physically and/or emotionally, and similar to how others have commented here, I become distant and cold (more so than my usual hah) and just become an impenetrable wall of ice or, if fight-or-flight kicks in, I get the hell outta there, as far away as I can from that person. 

 

why am I like this *cringes* 

[Guest]

Oh yeah, I really don't like it when people come to you like: "Date me pls" or "I wanna be ur bby!!!!!11" Believe me, I had those candidates too at work and i can't say i'm a big fan of them  

[J. van Deijck]

I am currently in such situation, also at work. the moron doesn't even understand that I'm already engaged and he even says he doesn't believe I am in a relationship! I told him something like "unlike you, people actually find me attractive", but in fact, I must say it's absolutely annoying. the guy is disgusting af, too.not only physically.

so, well. it much depends on a person. when it's someone I like, it kind of feels like a compliment, but it leaves me pretty shy. when it's someone I can't stand, just like this moron at work, then it's utterly annoying. I can’t even force myself to be nice for such person.

and yes, it's very uncomfortable. half of my coworkers is making fun of this situation and they constantly talk about him in my presence, just like they wanted to annoy me more. and they succeed, yeah. 

[J. van Deijck]

On 10/12/2017 at 5:32 AM, Hermit Advocate said:

Yes. It makes me uncomfortable and I tend to treat them coldly to get them to back off. I know I should probably just say I'm not interested instead, but unless they actually act on their interest and ask me out or something, I prefer to try to dissuade them without actually having to say anything. 

I'm doing the same, but the moron is fucking determined >.< somebody help me please.

[Antihero.]

.
 

[arekathevampyre]

I would just show them that I am not uninterested and that I am romance repulsed . Maybe I will feel a little scared , awkward and mildly uncomfortable (especially if the person is persistant) . 

Glad that I don't ever have to go through this

[Kersenne]

I do feel uncomfortable when people approach me with romantic (and sexual) interest. From people I don't know, I just ignore them and move on, but it feels awkward when it comes from people I know. I can get very attached to people (even romantically) but I really don't like when people confuse friendship and romance - and it happened a lot to me back in uni, so I felt uncomfortable and awkward a lot of times... I've learnt to avoid such situations now^^ 

[Hermit Advocate]

20 hours ago, [noize:injekktion] said:

I'm doing the same, but the moron is fucking determined >.< somebody help me please.

Try a golf club. Sometimes you have to ditch subtly and go for bluntness. 

[J. van Deijck]

3 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Try a golf club. Sometimes you have to ditch subtly and go for bluntness. 

how to do it?

 

this idiot doesn't understand what "no" means >.<

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

Yes, I do. Especially if I don't know anything about the person approaching me this way.

[orangecat]

When you know only 1% of people are asexual, chances of someone approach you romantically not asking sex in return is down to 0. So yes really hate it.

[knittinghistorian]

I think I'm completely oblivious to it, because I can only recall one time in my whole life when a stranger said something obviously flirty to me.  If I've ever been hit on, catcalled, etc., I didn't register it.  And given the statistics for American women, it seems most probable that it has happened, but I didn't notice.  (Which, I have to admit, quite amuses me: the catcaller or creeper didn't get any sort of reaction from me at all, because I didn't even realize he was there!)

 

That said, I lost a best friend (we were best friends for probably five years) because I could not fall in love with him.  He would have a boyfriend-girlfriend, marriage-trajectory relationship or nothing.  I couldn't give him that, however hard I tried, so it ended up being nothing.  It is because of this that I have absolutely ZERO patience for guys who whine about the "friendzone".  Every single person I have an interpersonal relationship with is in my friendzone (or familyzone), and they are the most important people in my life.

[Chilii]

atleast they are interested in you romantically. For me it seems like they want me sexually, 80% of the time.=_=

[Mezzo Forte]

When people perceived me as female, I found getting approached especially uncomfortable. If they were strangers, then I got creeped out; if they were friends, then I felt obligated to love them back and felt terrible when I couldn't. Even now, I still have hangups where I feel obligated to fall in love with my friends when my platonic bonds get strong enough. (I still feel that way about my straight male friends sometimes even though I know that neither of us are into each other in a romantic/sexual light.) That said, one of my dearest friends is actually one of my ex-boyfriends, and we stayed friends even after breaking up, all while he still had romantic feelings for me, so good communication and trust can override the discomfort.

 

Now that I'm perceived as male, the times that I get hit on tend to be flattering/endearing. I like knowing that I not only look male, but that I look like an attractive guy too.  No friends have expressed romantic interest in me since I came out, but most the people into men who are actively in my life either know I'm ace, are in committed relationships, or both. It's just not an issue at the moment.

[StormySky]

Back in elementary school, I could just punch the kissy boy in the shoulder and call him a buttface.

 

I wish I could still do that.

[Blue sun]

10 hours ago, Chilii said:

atleast they are interested in you romantically. For me it seems like they want me sexually, 80% of the time.=_=

Oh I get approached sexually too but I just give them a "go to hell or I will send you" face and they understand. 

[Éadweard]

Yes. 

[TheNerdyOne]

I'd only find it comfortable if it was coming from someone I knew and was already developing feelings for. Otherwise, yeah, it's uncomfortable. And unfortunately it's starting to happen more often.

There was this one dude in my 3D Modeling class. He was bitter, had an impatient attitude, and even openly admitted that he often said rude things before he realized how rude they were. He never said anything, we barely interacted, but all the signs were there. He'd look at me when he thought I wasn't looking. And whenever I interacted with a male classmate who I got to be good friends with, I'd hear the other guy huffing and shifting grumpily in his seat. There was no subtlety about it. Whenever he asked for help on something, I would just act very professional throughout the whole exchange, making sure not to give him any ideas.