lostbird Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Hello! I’m a 22 year old female. Sometimes I’m sure i am straight, sometimes i think I’m bi or maybe pansexual. Then i realize i don’t really care about sex. I do get heated up over especially some celebrities but i don’t dream of sex often. I can say I’ve never watched porn, i actually did but they were fetish videos on YouTube that were asexual (a part of body). Last week i tried to masturbate to vids on YouTube but it was more of a push rather than willingly doing it. Now i just tried again after a week and i realized how it just doesn’t interest me anymore. I’ve had this fetish forever, even when i was a kid(around 5) then it slowed down till i hit puberty. I watched videos on YouTube both from men and women and i got turned on by both. I’m not quite sure because i don’t see myself dating a woman but i also do, however male celebrities attract me more for example. I tried to masturbate to the thought of having sex but it never made me reach my climate or have as much joy as i did from my fetish fantasies. I have ocd and possible adhd and depression, could these be a reason? Or did i just lose interest? Or am i an asexual? Thanks for reading and have a nice day! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Well, asexuality doesn't affect non-sexual fetishes. And asexuals can have a libido that results in arousal. It's more to do with a lack of sexual attraction - where you don't "target" people for sexual desires. As for attraction, there is different types. There's romantic, and platonic, aesthetic, and sensual, as well as sexual attraction. I can't tell you whether or not you're asexual, but it is something you can look into yourself. In the end it's your descision whether or not the label applies to you. Good luck 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lostbird Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 Thank you so much! I guess I will have to explore it myself at the end... i don’t even know if i can label myself or not but i see myself thinking less about sex compared to most straight people... it’s the experience that matters to me rather than the action itself Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lostbird Posted December 10, 2017 Author Share Posted December 10, 2017 Please help me... I’m so curious about the whole thing... i don’t get excited or turned on by thinking sex... I’ve never even watched porn. I want to identify myself but i don’t even know if I’m excusing myself for being alone and being rude to actual asexuals when i am straight or pan (I’m not even sure about that) I guess i fit into gray asexuality... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Hello lostbird, picking gray as your label seems like a good choice at this point. You might want to consider "gray sexuality" rather than "gray asexuality", to avoid some of the definition debates that sometimes pop up around here :-) Watching porn isn't everone's thing, whether sexual or asexual. Some people get turned on by it, others don't. If you haven't found something that turns you on, "thinking sex" isn't likely to do anything for you either. Maybe you don't get turned on at all, or maybe there's something that will, but you have no idea yet what that is. That's one of the reasons why it can take time to pick the labels that are right for you. That's also one of the reasons why you can always change labels, when you learn more about yourself and find better ones. There's no quick solution, so please give yourself time and have patience. All the best! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FaerieFate Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 This thread has a lot of info which may be helpful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lostbird Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 12 hours ago, roland.o said: Hello lostbird, picking gray as your label seems like a good choice at this point. You might want to consider "gray sexuality" rather than "gray asexuality", to avoid some of the definition debates that sometimes pop up around here :-) Watching porn isn't everone's thing, whether sexual or asexual. Some people get turned on by it, others don't. If you haven't found something that turns you on, "thinking sex" isn't likely to do anything for you either. Maybe you don't get turned on at all, or maybe there's something that will, but you have no idea yet what that is. That's one of the reasons why it can take time to pick the labels that are right for you. That's also one of the reasons why you can always change labels, when you learn more about yourself and find better ones. There's no quick solution, so please give yourself time and have patience. All the best! Thank you so much, i agree i should go with gray sexual as well. Thanks a lot! 3 hours ago, FaerieFate said: This thread has a lot of info which may be helpful. Thank you, i will check this out Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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