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ConfusedQueer

absolute newbie trying to figure out what her sexuality is?

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ConfusedQueer

so, as the title says, im a newbie. i just recently figured out that im might be ace and this led to several follow up questions 

so uh

my whole teen life ive been hearing about how my peers feel about other people. so while i never really understood why my friends check butts out, or why ive always found genitals (male in particular) sort of repulsing, i just sorta accepted it. i appreciate muscles and stuff like that, how round a persons butt is, the shape of people lips and stuff -- but i just felt like those are just things. like, it doesnt really make a difference to me if a persons got a big butt or a small one - its just there, yo know? (well you guys most definitely know where im coming from)  its like when i see a person, i can appreciate their butt because apparently round butts are nice. when i see a shirtless male model, i say daaamn because uh abs are hot apparently? like i dont really know what appeal stuff like that gives me - ive just accepted it as a "hot" thing?

honestly, i feel like the persons facial features and personality, talent, etc matter to me more?

so uh yeah - im sorta neutral about sex - like i dont really  find it as disgusting as i used to, but i dont find it amazing either (i mean, cant my hand do the same?) i dont think i have a need to have sex (but a vibrator would be nice) and uh, i guess if i was turned on i wouldnt mind having sex? like it doesnt really matter to me who its with? like i wouldnt want it to be with someone i know cause im sorta insecure about my body, but otherwise it doesnt really like matter?

honestly - its the turned on thing. like porn and stuff turns me on. especially like art and animation of like female bodies. like i dont think i would personally want to have sex with a person (regardless of gender/body parts) but i dont understand much about the being turned on bit. 

its like i dont. imagine myself having sex with anyone - but watching other people get it on, or a person *probing deep*... well that sorta turns me on. like tits and stuff (not much of the vag bit) or just bodies having sex - its not the genitals that turn me on tho, maybe the act itself? i dont really know

but when im actually uh pleasuring - oh you know what im just gonna say it - when im MASTUR - okay i cant caps this - when im mastur-you-know-what - ugh when im doing THAT, its like theres not much sex related thinking going on in there. like i could be thinking about what i had for lunch, thinking about a tv show i was watching, or any daily mundane thing really.

EDIT : I HAVE HAD A SEX DREAM WITH A WOMAN ONCE (MAYBE TWICE) AND I WOKE UP CONFUSED AS EFF

besides from that, i dont reaaaally understand what comprises of sexy things - like i know showing skin, dancing with like hip moving slowly or something, looking at people with semi closed eyes (nala, lion king), uhh being smart?, um tracing hands on skin and stuff? like i know all this theoretically, but i dont really KNOW it, yknow? like in particular, a friend of mine was sitting next to me drawing circles on the outside of my hand with her hand (we arent attracted to each other) and because ive seen this particular thing mentioned in like books and stuff i was sorta like "???" like besides from being hyperaware of my hand, i thought it was a sexual thing? so i asked her and she told me it wasnt and im like oh okay ??? like why is it sexual in one scenario but not in the other???

 

so uh like i came across the term greysexual at first and i was like *fingerguns* but then i figured that i havent wanted to nail anyone in particular, like, ever. like there are many people i wouldnt mind kissing and stuff (as in  id like to kiss/ make out with them) buti dont really know about sex?

 

so uh, besides from being a very confused person in general, im sorta very confused about this. i havent come out as ace to more than 6 people becuase im just very unsure???

like i know its okay to not be sure of your label, and that we dont really need labels if we dont want them -- but i sorta do want a label so that im less confused yknow?

 

so uh until i figure this out i guess ill keep romantic attraction and gender on the back burner right now...

 

so uh 

youve read all the way down till here anyway

so uh if you could give me an honest opinion

thatd be great?

 

 

also why do people keep posting pictures of cake?

Edited by ConfusedQueer

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TheAngel(of)Peace

It sounds like you could be asexual, if you don't have any desire to have sex with anyone. Being asexual doesn't mean you have to be repulsed by sex; though some asexuals are, others don't mind the idea, but just don't desire it. Getting aroused doesn't mean you're not asexual, either. Lots of asexuals are turned on by porn and the like.

 

Cake is an unofficial symbol of asexuality. It comes from the idea that asexuals would rather have cake than sex. See also this.

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ConfusedQueer
3 minutes ago, TheAngel(of)Peace said:

It sounds like you could be asexual, if you don't have any desire to have sex with anyone. Being asexual doesn't mean you have to be repulsed by sex; though some asexuals are, others don't mind the idea, but just don't desire it. Getting aroused doesn't mean you're not asexual, either. Lots of asexuals are turned on by porn and the like.

 

Cake is an unofficial symbol of asexuality. It comes from the idea that asexuals would rather have cake than sex. See also this.

oh okay! thank you for your reply!! like seriously, that was fast!!! thank you so much!!! and uh cake you say? let me attach one. its basic as hell, but its one of my favourite aesthtics sooooooo...

unicorn-cake-nerdy-nummies-ro.jpg lots of love, CQ

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TheAngel(of)Peace

That is a super cute cake, and I love the colours. And you're welcome. (To be honest, I always feel slightly self-conscious that I'm replying too fast.)

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ConfusedQueer
3 minutes ago, TheAngel(of)Peace said:

That is a super cute cake, and I love the colours. And you're welcome. (To be honest, I always feel slightly self-conscious that I'm replying too fast.)

i love the colours too! :) i have the opposite problem - i feel conscious if no ones replied!!! so thank god for you.

also, i edited the question - does it change anything??

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TheAngel(of)Peace
3 minutes ago, ConfusedQueer said:

i love the colours too! :) i have the opposite problem - i feel conscious if no ones replied!!! so thank god for you.

also, i edited the question - does it change anything??

Check out this thread: 

Several asexuals said they have had sexual dreams.

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ConfusedQueer
Just now, TheAngel(of)Peace said:

Check out this thread: 

Several asexuals said they have had sexual dreams.

thanks again!!!

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Urmeline
32 minutes ago, ConfusedQueer said:

oh okay! thank you for your reply!! like seriously, that was fast!!! thank you so much!!! and uh cake you say? let me attach one. its basic as hell, but its one of my favourite aesthtics sooooooo...

unicorn-cake-nerdy-nummies-ro.jpg lots of love, CQ

I believe I recognize that cake. Are you a fan of Nerdy Nummies? :D

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ConfusedQueer
2 minutes ago, Urmeline said:

I believe I recognize that cake. Are you a fan of Nerdy Nummies? :D

not a huge one, but i follow rosanna on youtube, and im whipped for a baby pink aesthetic

but her nerdy nummies are definitely super cool

:D:cake::cake::cake: 

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