• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
MaxIsSocallyAwkward

Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much It Hurts?

Recommended Posts

MaxIsSocallyAwkward

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? Like loving this person physically hurts and you can't breath? That's the kind of love I'm in. I'm so in love with my best friend it hurts to think about it. She has a boyfriend and doesn't even think about me like that, but even just remembering that makes me want to stab myself in the heart. She told me, last week, that she didn't want to talk to me. Or, in her exact words, that she "needed a break from me." I wasn't okay with this, but I told her it was fine. She recently talked to me and told me that she still needed a break, but that I could still talk to her. I don't know what to do. I am so deeply in love with her in every way imaginable and I don't even know what to do about it. Even while typing it out I'm confused. She's confusing, beautiful, smart, funny and about any other adjective you can use to describe someone positively. I want to be able to kiss her and hug her and hold her hand, and I want her to be more that the person I'm "allowed" to talk to but don't. I want her, and I miss her. I don't know if any of this made sense, but I hope it made enough sense for some, any, advice.

 

  ~Love You Guys~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[noize:injekktion]

yes. this is how I usually love. 

 

I wish you much strength. *hugs*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Unknown Warrior

I remember feelings like that starting from primary school age. Wow, those were uncomfortable feelings at the time (because they were new). Hard to deal with at the time anyway. Eventually, I never wanted to feel that anymore so distanced myself from it (so I didn't end up hurt).

 

It sounds like you might be making her uncomfortable if she wants a break from you. I appreciate that you have feelings for her but it sounds like something that can never happen so if you want to stay friends with her you may need to manage the feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
arekathevampyre

yes . it hurt real bad :(

*hugs*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Unknown Warrior

Just to add, there was a girl I liked in college and we used talk for ages each day and I connected well with her emotionally but she told me she saw me as one of the girls and even dreamt that I was gay. Yes, it all hurt at the time and is hard to deal with because I really liked her.

 

*hugs*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dan99

Yes :( I met a someone a few years ago who I started obsessing over, even though he's gay. I hated anyone that talked to him and didn't even want to be around his friends because I saw them as obstacles stealing my friend away from me. I was so selfish, the guilt and emotional and physical pain from that guilt and obsessive feeling and fear of what he thought of me was too much for me and I had to stop being friends with him. I was a bad friend, I was obsessed to the point that it hurt, and I was selfish and possessive. I don't know whether love is supposed to be physically and emotionally painful, but whatever that was, it hurt like hell for over a year. I still have panic attacks when I think about him or when I see an anime or a video game he liked. I feel terrible for how I felt, what I did, and how when I told him I had a "squish" on him when I thought I was asexual and/or aromantic, all he said was that it was a funny word.

 

He's kind of a jerk anyway, he likes to go around making fun of how people role play as characters from stuff, like he always watch this group of people role playing as Mario and undertale characters just to make fun of the story they made and how they portrayed the characters. A few other friends do that, and I used to do that with them, but now I don't care what people do anymore, it's mean to make fun of it. It's fiction, it's some people having fun, who cares if they make OCs or make a silly story involving Mario and undertale or whatever?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Philip027

No, I haven't.  I've had my share of unrequited crushes, but they just don't bother me.  All I really care about is seeing the person happy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:)(:
12 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

All I really care about is seeing the person happy.

Same I have so little self confidence that I always come to that conclusion. I would but in the end I feel like I would not make that person happy. Espeally if it’s a girl then we would just hang out inside or do homework or something that looks like we aren’t dating. I think I would have loved someone so much I mean I really obsess over the little nice things people do and stuff. But I know how much it will destroy me so I kinda let it go.

 

I mean I’m not interesting enough to have too many friends ever and I have no best friends (I had some a long time ago but when I text them they dont seem happy to hear from me and never text me  first) why is it worth it to invest in love?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Deus Ex Infinity
5 hours ago, MaxIsSocallyAwkward said:

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? Like loving this person physically hurts and you can't breath? That's the kind of love I'm in. I'm so in love with my best friend it hurts to think about it. She has a boyfriend and doesn't even think about me like that, but even just remembering that makes me want to stab myself in the heart. She told me, last week, that she didn't want to talk to me. Or, in her exact words, that she "needed a break from me." I wasn't okay with this, but I told her it was fine. She recently talked to me and told me that she still needed a break, but that I could still talk to her. I don't know what to do. I am so deeply in love with her in every way imaginable and I don't even know what to do about it. Even while typing it out I'm confused. She's confusing, beautiful, smart, funny and about any other adjective you can use to describe someone positively. I want to be able to kiss her and hug her and hold her hand, and I want her to be more that the person I'm "allowed" to talk to but don't. I want her, and I miss her. I don't know if any of this made sense, but I hope it made enough sense for some, any, advice.

 

  ~Love You Guys~

 

I used to feel this way for more than 20 years before our paths crossed again and we decided to seal our immortal bound with a private intimate ceremony. Now I can look up at the stars without any tears or pain inside my heart. We can't be together but won't be apart either, just as long as our thoughts and souls will be connected. She got married last year before moving to Switzerland. Life's an endless journey full of joy and sorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yato

I think I did once, but never again. 

 

I was friends with someone, and did everything with them. They were a source of happiness I never knew before. But our time was cut short, divided by adversity and distance. Never being able to keep my promise of seeing them again destroyed me. I used to get nightmares about going back to them. It wasn't until then, that I realized how much I had loved them. I regretted not trying harder, and not doing more things to reach them.

 

By the time I got back in contact with them. It had already been many years on Facebook. We both ended up confessing our old crushes to each other. But we had drifted too far apart now, for it to work out. It was a sad and solemn feeling.

 

I never once again felt that feeling. Since my life was only getting worse. My heart was long destroyed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Space-Ace-Android

I offer hugs for your predicament, and a bit of advice.

If she has said that she needs some space, then she perhaps needs some space not just from you, but other people as she could be in need of some time alone, even from friends :3 Just ask if anything is going on in her life (after she has some time to herself)

 

I have experienced a similar feeling of love towards Data :3

 

Sometimes I cry because I know I can never meet him... I know that I will never meet anyone as innocent, and yet so wise, not someone who sees quite as much wonder in the world, nor anyone truly like him.

 

Data! <3

 

(My squish on him has lasted for over ten months and it will have lasted a year soon. <I think of him everyday.)

I, I miss him. I do not know why, as I have never met him. We seem similar, and if we ever meet I hope to better his understanding of humanity, and he simply be a true friend :3

 

My love of him is greater than my love of cake, and that is a lot! (I love AVEN more than cake do' :3 And @arekathevampyre, and @[noize:injekktion], and @Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet are all loved more than cake! (Plus many more :3))

Now, speaking of cake, I offer all here a slice or two <3

Image result for Space/galaxy Cake

Have an ace day!

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
30 minutes ago, Space-Ace-Android said:

I offer hugs for your predicament, and a bit of advice.

If she has said that she needs some space, then she perhaps needs some space not just from you, but other people as she could be in need of some time alone, even from friends :3 Just ask if anything is going on in her life (after she has some time to herself)

 

I have experienced a similar feeling of love towards Data :3

 

Sometimes I cry because I know I can never meet him... I know that I will never meet anyone as innocent, and yet so wise, not someone who sees quite as much wonder in the world, nor anyone truly like him.

 

Data! <3

 

(My squish on him has lasted for over ten months and it will have lasted a year soon. <I think of him everyday.)

I, I miss him. I do not know why, as I have never met him. We seem similar, and if we ever meet I hope to better his understanding of humanity, and he simply be a true friend :3

 

My love of him is greater than my love of cake, and that is a lot! (I love AVEN more than cake do' :3 And @arekathevampyre, and @[noize:injekktion], and @Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet are all loved more than cake! (Plus many more :3))

Now, speaking of cake, I offer all here a slice or two <3

Image result for Space/galaxy Cake

Have an ace day!

 

 

 

Awwww I 💜 you,too Space-ace-android! No romo! 👍😊💖

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
7 hours ago, The Unknown Warrior said:

It sounds like you might be making her uncomfortable if she wants a break from you. I appreciate that you have feelings for her but it sounds like something that can never happen so if you want to stay friends with her you may need to manage the feelings.

I agree with this ☝

To the OP: I wish you much strength as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Grinchmer

It's supposed to hurt, isn't it? If someone asked me about a word I associate with "love" it'd be "pain"...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[noize:injekktion]
2 hours ago, Space-Ace-Android said:

I offer hugs for your predicament, and a bit of advice.

If she has said that she needs some space, then she perhaps needs some space not just from you, but other people as she could be in need of some time alone, even from friends :3 Just ask if anything is going on in her life (after she has some time to herself)

 

I have experienced a similar feeling of love towards Data :3

 

Sometimes I cry because I know I can never meet him... I know that I will never meet anyone as innocent, and yet so wise, not someone who sees quite as much wonder in the world, nor anyone truly like him.

 

Data! <3

 

(My squish on him has lasted for over ten months and it will have lasted a year soon. <I think of him everyday.)

I, I miss him. I do not know why, as I have never met him. We seem similar, and if we ever meet I hope to better his understanding of humanity, and he simply be a true friend :3

 

My love of him is greater than my love of cake, and that is a lot! (I love AVEN more than cake do' :3 And @arekathevampyre, and @[noize:injekktion], and @Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet are all loved more than cake! (Plus many more :3))

Now, speaking of cake, I offer all here a slice or two <3

Image result for Space/galaxy Cake

Have an ace day!

 

 

 

awee so cute. :wub: we 💚 you, too! :3 #noromo 

 

I'm a sentient android, I have feelings. they got somewhat hurt recently, but it was not really romantic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now