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IronHamster

Acceptance

Recommended Posts

Evren
23 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

Marriage vows contain "to have and to hold."  Scripturally, it is a sin to deny your spouse sex.  A big sin.  That being said, she voluntarily entered this agreement.  It has been very lucrative for her.  

A were going to pull scripture out are we? 

Exodus 20:14 “Never commit adultery.

9. Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be kept honorable in every way, and the marriage bed undefiled. For God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery.

10. Proverbs 6:32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman is out of his mind; by doing so he corrupts his own soul.

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Galactic Turtle
4 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

Marriage vows contain "to have and to hold."  Scripturally, it is a sin to deny your spouse sex.  A big sin.  That being said, she voluntarily entered this agreement.  It has been very lucrative for her. 

And... adultery? 

 

1 minute ago, IronHamster said:

I see no reason why I cannot go elsewhere.  In contract law, if my sole supplier fails to deliver I am free to make deals with other suppliers.

Then leave. Get a divorce. If you wife and kids really mattered that much, maybe you should've thought about the consequences of your actions beforehand. You have every right to leave nonetheless.

 

On the flipside maybe this other woman will leave her husband you two can get together and make a new family. You cheated on your wife yet you're trying to make this seem all ok just because she's asexual... which is pretty whack. Actions have consequences. Don't try to hide behind scripture. 

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Yatagarasu
5 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

Marriage vows contain "to have and to hold."  Scripturally, it is a sin to deny your spouse sex.  A big sin.  That being said, she voluntarily entered this agreement.  It has been very lucrative for her.  

Do you even know how to read things with proper comprehension? *facepalm*

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IronHamster
1 minute ago, Evren said:

A were going to pull scripture out are we? 

Exodus 20:14 “Never commit adultery.

9. Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be kept honorable in every way, and the marriage bed undefiled. For God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery.

10. Proverbs 6:32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman is out of his mind; by doing so he corrupts his own soul.

CEV
1 Corinthians 7:5 So don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  
 
My, how we take things out of context to prove a point.  

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Shadowstepper
4 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

In contract law, if my sole supplier fails to deliver I am free to make deals with other suppliers.

Indeed, by terminating the contract with the original supplier. Divorce.

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Evren
23 minutes ago, IronHamster said:
CEV
1 Corinthians 7:5 So don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  
 
My, how we take things out of context to prove a point.  

Your a troll and a hypocrite, kudos for arguement. If your not, I hope you divorce your wife with all speed. Shes better off without you.

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Shadowstepper
2 minutes ago, IronHamster said:
Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control

Fell into that trap, didn't you?

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IronHamster
Just now, Shadowstepper said:

Indeed, by terminating the contract with the original supplier. Divorce.

There are other parties involved.  We should stay committed to them, right?  Or, do you like hurting innocent children even more than people that need great Sex? 

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Shadowstepper
Just now, IronHamster said:

There are other parties involved.  We should stay committed to them, right?  Or, do you like hurting innocent children even more than people that need great Sex? 

Staying together "for the kids" is often more harmful to their well being than the divorce.

 

In essence, you ruined your marriage, and are now ruining your children's lives too.

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Galactic Turtle
Just now, IronHamster said:

There are other parties involved.  We should stay committed to them, right?  Or, do you like hurting innocent children even more than people that need great Sex? 

Bruh, it's too late to think about your kids. You already hurt them by doing this. Take your argument to them and see what they say.

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Yatagarasu
6 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

The agreement was broken first by her.  It has been very lucrative for her.   I see no reason why I cannot go elsewhere.  In contract law, if my sole supplier fails to deliver I am free to make deals with other suppliers.

A spouse is not a supplier. Your anile mindset is blowing my mind, honestly.

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IronHamster
Just now, Shadowstepper said:

Fell into that trap, didn't you?

Nope.  The command is to not deny each other.  We cannot dance around that.  An asexual that marries a hypersexual is knowingly committing herself to lots of great sex.  If sex is a problem, she should not marry a sexual person.  

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IronHamster
Just now, Yatagarasu said:

A spouse is not a supplier. Your anile mindset is blowing my mind, honestly.

Why is a spouse not a supplier? 

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IronHamster
1 minute ago, Galactic Turtle said:

Bruh, it's too late to think about your kids. You already hurt them by doing this. Take your argument to them and see what they say.

Not really.  The older ones are very understanding.  I think the younger ones will be when they are old enough.  

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Galactic Turtle

You're not going to get validation from an asexual forum for what you did.

 

You're not going to get validation from your church for what you did.

 

You're not going to get validation from your kids for what you did.

 

You messed up. Deal with it. Walk away. Live with it.

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Shadowstepper

Wait, it took me a while, but I figured it out.

 

You keep talking about how "lucrative" this has been for her, and how it would be to your "financial advantage" to leave her.

 

You are afraid that if you divorce her, she gets your money, especially now that you have admitted adultery.

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Yatagarasu
1 minute ago, IronHamster said:

Why is a spouse not a supplier?

Because you don't get married with a person to have sex. She's not obliged to meet your needs if you don't even try to understand her. 

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IronHamster
Just now, Yatagarasu said:

Because you don't get married with a person to have sex. She's not obliged to meet your needs if you don't even try to understand her. 

Um.  Yes, she is. 

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IronHamster
3 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said:

You're not going to get validation from an asexual forum for what you did.

 

You're not going to get validation from your church for what you did.

 

You're not going to get validation from your kids for what you did.

 

You messed up. Deal with it. Walk away. Live with it.

My older kids are actually cool with it.  

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Yatagarasu
1 minute ago, IronHamster said:

Um.  Yes, she is. 

"Obliged"? We live in the XXI century not in medieval ages.

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Galactic Turtle
Just now, IronHamster said:

My older kids are actually cool with it.  

Wonderful. Get divorced. 

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Yatagarasu
1 minute ago, IronHamster said:

My older kids are actually cool with it.

A+ parenting

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IronHamster
3 minutes ago, Yatagarasu said:

"Obliged"? We live in the XXI century not in medieval ages.

She has a moral obligation.   

 

That being said, I am kind of past it, anyway.  Nobody actually wants to have sex with someone that does not want sex.  

 

But, by denying sex, she is in clear violation of our agreement.  At least the kids have what they need.  She has everything she needs.  Why shouldn't I?  

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Snao Cone

I agree with getting a divorce. That's really the only option. All the best to your happy new relationship. Your (soon to be ex) wife may hate you for the rest of her life, which is a reasonable reaction for her to have, but at least if you get divorced you can move on with the person you're having sex with. You don't have to feel guilty for it if the guilt doesn't come naturally to you, but it sounds like you're pushing other people to not only accept it, but praise you. Nobody owes you praise. You haven't done anyone else favours. You made a decision based on your sexual needs. Accept that it had some negative consequences for you and other people, and just move on. Nobody owes you forgiveness. You can't retroactively get your wife's blessing to do this. Just admit you cheated on her, that it's well within her rights and perfectly reasonable for her to be pissed off, and let her move on. 

 

You're not on moral high ground here. You're not obligated to regret what you did, but nobody owes you forgiveness or understanding. Just move on.

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Syrthia
38 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

My wife was the only one cheating.  She cheated me out of two decades of sex just as surely as if she were fucking the mail man.  

If sex is so important to you in the first place, why did you marry her if you knew you would never be happy? You are not being very empathetic to your wife.

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Yatagarasu
3 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

She has a moral obligation.   

 

That being said, I am kind of past it, anyway.  Nobody actually wants to have sex with someone that does not want sex.  

 

But, by denying sex, she is in clear violation of our agreement.  At least the kids have what they need.  She has everything she needs.  Why shouldn't I?  

Where's "moral" in having sex with a stranger?.
"Everything she needs" that's what you think.
"Denying sex" I feel like I'm watching an Animal planet's program about big felines.

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IronHamster

Maybe what we need is a clearer view of sex in marriage.  A modern view includes body autonomy.  Perhaps the new standard should not be "to have and to hold," but, rather, "right to first refusal."  

 

In short, if a spouse refuses to put out the partner can outsource without repercussion.  

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IronHamster
1 minute ago, Syrthia said:

If sex is so important to you in the first place, why did you marry her if you knew you would never be happy? You are not being very empathetic to your wife.

She promised, and appeared sexual during special events, like needing to get married or reproduce.  

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Snao Cone
Just now, IronHamster said:

In short, if a spouse refuses to put out the partner can outsource without repercussion.  

Only if agreed upon beforehand. Otherwise, end the relationship first. I think what needs to change more is for people to not bottle up resentment for decades, accept when a relationship has failed (blame free) and bow out earlier. Not after 20 years.

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IronHamster
3 minutes ago, Yatagarasu said:

Where's "moral" in having sex with a stranger?.
"Everything she needs" that's what you think.
"Denying sex" I feel like I'm watching an Animal planet's program about big felines.

What is moral is we were both consenting adults.  

Absolutely, everything.  

Absolutely, denying.  

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