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mari

There are any men on here?

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mari

Hi, i read somewhere (i dont remember where) there are 1:5 men /women, and i guess that is worst for us "the old one" because mostly of the people in the asexual spectrum in in their 20's.

I suffer every day the loneliness, i cant get used to be a lone person, i cant accept. I think is like a mourning and im not doing it well. :(

 

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The Unknown Warrior

Aww, you poor thing. :(

 

There are men on here but as you say there are less of them.

 

*hugs*

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Groobly

There's dozens of us! Dozens!

I have noticed the sex disparity as well on here. I wonder why that is. Also, I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. I feel the same way sometimes. I thank my lucky stars I'm a loner at heart, but the times where loneliness really sets in can be tough, so I understand where you're coming from. :(

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The Unknown Warrior

Perhaps it's because a lot of men don't like to discuss their feelings so less likely to join a site like this.

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Camicon

I suspect part of it is due to the way society insists that all men are sexual people. Tough to realize you aren't when everything you see constantly says that you are.

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J. Alfred Prufrock

It's the idea that men are always horny, and if they aren't then something is medically wrong with them, that isn't a state it's ever considered valid to be in.

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Groobly

Good points. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me, so I can attest to that social drive to fit in playing a part in it. I remember one time when I was a teenager this random girl came along and sat on my lap, and when I didn't "react" she was like "Is there something wrong with you, dude?"

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oldgeeza

I don't know what the statistics are, but I don't think I have ever met another asexual male or female asexual person, I too am that bit older, as a male, when in my teens, people found it hard to accept that I wasn't driven by sex, I can understand how many of us end up being single when there are so few of us in general, again, I'm not sure of the statistics, but I think overall it's only around 1% of the population who are asexual.

 

 I hope you get to finding someone, I know we're few and far between, but I do know of couples meeting up and having a relationship even though they started off on distance relationships meeting online before actually meeting and moving in together.

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The Unknown Warrior

Men do have it tough in many ways. There needs to be a change in how boys are raised and not put in a stupidly small box.

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Woodworker1968

Me!

 

I actually don't mind admitting I'm openly asexual nowadays, because I realize not many people would care to poke fun in person at a 300-lb guy who looks lke a pro wrestler.

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Kazka

*Manly High-Five
 

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Tja

Yeah, I was brought up that men had sex, or there was something wrong with you.

So, I spent many years, having many sexual hookups, and it was all just...BLAH!

Now, I'm so turned off by it all, I'm glad to be alone.

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Nidwin

I'm around here too folks.

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Tuple

Yeah, I've noticed the gender difference too.

 

Bogaert mentioned the gender imbalance in his book. If I remember correctly, he said it could be something physiological and how woman and men experience attraction differently. He also said it could be cultural.

 

I've heard mentioned a few times that "all women are asexual" and "there's no such thing as asexual men", which speaks volumes about how society views men's and women's sexuality, i.e. stereotypical women don't like sex and make a big fuss over having sex while stereotypical men are horny and chasing after women all the time trying to get laid. Also, I once heard someone say that "asexual man" is an oxymoron. I have also heard "asexual men aren't real men" and "asexual men are really just gay and either don't realize it or refuse to admit to being gay".

 

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Midland Tyke

Another male here! It only took me about 45 years to realise I was asexual. Crazy that, isn't it? 

 

If the OP is looking to meet someone, how about checking out the meet-up section? Or just enter into chats in the Just for Fun section. I've made new friendships that way.

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