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MiwiKiwi

Questions and confusion about myself.

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MiwiKiwi

I see most people on here are in between 20/30, I however am only 16/17. 

I was wondering if I could possibly be asexual or gray-a as although I see how a person is attractive I do not feel attracted to them myself. I still get aroused by erotic images and this is the main cause of my doubt of being asexual. I never want anything past base affection with a relationship I don't have an urge for anything past closeness, it's almost as if a close friendship is the ideal relationship for me. This has been my feelings for the best part of two years, I originally brushed it off as a phase but as I look deeper into the asexual community I can see similarities between my sexuality and asexuality.

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TheAngel(of)Peace

Asexuals can still be aroused, as long as they don't actually desire sex with anyone. It sounds like you might be asexual. If you don't desire a romantic relationship but just a friendship, you might want to look into the term aromantic as well.

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MiwiKiwi
19 minutes ago, TheAP said:

Asexuals can still be aroused, as long as they don't actually desire sex with anyone. It sounds like you might be asexual. If you don't desire a romantic relationship but just a friendship, you might want to look into the term aromantic as well.

Thanks for the reply, so I could be possibly an aromantic asexual? Thank you so much.

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Chrissy Noelle

I'm 16/17 too, and I started questioning my sexuality months ago, so, you're not alone around here. There's also a chatty place for teens here if you'd like to look: Teen Corner Topic

 

And I have about the same issue as you; feeling no true attraction but sometimes getting aroused. Maybe just considering yourself a grey ace is a way to start, someone suggested that to me for until it's known for sure what's up. 

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Star Bit

Shorthand for both is Aro Ace. But it is possible to have your romantic/sexual orientation awaken later. Yes, most get crushes at an early age, but some don't and get it at 18. A minority also have their sexuality emerge at 20 eventhough most realize it as late as 17.

 

Getting aroused by erotica is normal regardless of orientation; it's just the brain recognizing sexually relavent material and preparing for sex (just like drooling from the sight/smell of food). Straight men often get aroused by the sight of an erect penis, many gay women get aroused by male on male erotica, many straight women get aroused by female on female erotica. Though it is a majority of women and a minority of men who get aroused by erotica that doesn't apply to their orientation. Sexual arousal and WHO you desire sexual activity with are two different things. Most asexuals masturbate and most use erotica to do so.

 

@Chrissy Noelle Dunno who suggested to go by a term you don't even know if you are, but that's now what Gray is. If someone doesn't know they can use "questioning asexual". Gray-asexual is for people who DO desire sex but are virtually asexual (not by choice); e.g. Autosexuals who only sexually desire themselves; not masturbation; think twin/mirror sex-- there's Lithsexuals who mentally desire sex but react negatively to its IRL reciprocation (loss of interest, aversion, repulsion); not a negative feeling after sex (that's actually common especially for allosexual females and called Post-coital dysphoria/depression/tristesse)-- etc, etc. Though Lithsexual may be caused by the same thing, Lithromantic may be an ego treatable condition with a therapist (I can elaborate). Gray-(hetero/homo/bi)sexual can be used for people who do desire sex but at an abnormal point in time (demisexual, etc.).

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