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Sam___

Very unsure

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Sam___

I am a 16 year old highschool girl, I have never had a boyfriend, and I am very unsure of where I stand romantically. 

I realized that I'm young and I know that I don't have to figure it all out immediately, but I really just want to be certain of at least one thing right now. Up until about a year ago I didn't know what being "aromantic" was, then I read a Cosmo article about it, and I realized I related to basically everything they were saying. I remember telling some friends about this and saying "yeah but that's how it is for most people right?" And nobody agreeing with me, so that's when I realized I wasn't a "regular" romantic. I kinda brushed it off as I got busy with school and didn't have time to think about it since boys never really came up in my life anyway. 

Flash forward a year and here I am, no questions answered, no assurance on my position. I know a few things for sure and I'd love for anyone here to help me out just figuring out my mess. 

I have researched a "squish" and I am 100% sure I have had them, in fact of all the things about aromantics I relate to having squishes the most. 

I don't really like holding hands or touching a whole lot and usually find sarcastic ways to get out of physical contact.

I can only recall one time I had a real "crush" but it could have also been a squish, however after that ended terribly I haven't felt as strongly about a guy since (like three and a half years ago). 

I want a boyfriend, but mostly for the superficial and social reasons. 

I feel attracted to hot guys in movies and TV, but wouldn't want to date or marry any of them. 

I once told my friend somewhat joking mostly serious that a "friends-with-benefits" situation is the most appealing to me looking forward.

I want guys to be interested in me and focus on me but I'm not sure of how much I could return. 

Thats about it, I feel like I'm a wishy-washy romantic/aromantic/anything. 

Anyway thanks for listening to me, I am a mess. 

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Apathetic Echidna

oh this article? http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a9644122/aromantic-definition-meaning/

There is some dodgy representation in that. I must say I cringed in some parts. 

Doing research is good :) 

I will point by point comment on your 'I' statements. 

 

Squishes are quite an aro thing but other romantic orientations can have them too, it is crushes that we don't have that sets us apart more. 

Being averse to touch is about your feelings and personal space, it can change how you experience relationships but doesn't change your orientation.

Analysing things in the past can be hard, maybe a crush, maybe a squish, only you might know. 

Is having a boyfriend really socially important to you? would you just be happier with a non-romantic companion/best buddy?

Aesthetic appreciation of the male form is something I do too, though any sexual attraction informs on your sexual orientation not your romantic one.

'Friend with Benefits' commonly translates into 'Acquaintances whose only significant interaction is sex', it is quite hard to find a friend open to sexual encounters who doesn't want to get romantically entangled.

You want to be a Queen Bee? Basking in the attention of others. Isn't that basically the desire to be popular?

 

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