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Adriene

How do you break up with him because you are asexual?

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Adriene

I've just discovered that I am asexual. And I've been dating this guy for almost 2 weeks and I want to break up with him because I don't feel anything for him because I am asexual. How should I go about breaking up with him? I want to do it as soon as possible so that it doesn't feel like a one-sided relationship...

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Mermaidy

If I were you, I honestly would not want to mention asexuality at all. I would say something like "sorry, but I'm actually not interested in a relationship" and leave it at that. I'm used to people giving me a hard time about asexuality (like whether it exists or not) if I mention it in any context

 

I realize the person could reject "not interested in a relationship" in the same way they could reject "I'm not interested in a relationship because sexual orientation," but I feel like giving a reason for no relationship might invite the person more to challenge it

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ver
37 minutes ago, Adriene said:

I've just discovered that I am asexual. And I've been dating this guy for almost 2 weeks and I want to break up with him because I don't feel anything for him because I am asexual. How should I go about breaking up with him? I want to do it as soon as possible so that it doesn't feel like a one-sided relationship...

I'm a bit apprehensive of the "I feel nothing for him because I am asexual" line, simply because asexuals can have feelings for people and have great, intimate relationships. But I think I get what you mean. To me, it sounds like maybe you're just not into him like that - whether that's because of your sexual or romantic orientation or just because he's not the right dude - and in that case, I'd just be honest and say you don't like him in that way and would rather just be friends (or not, whatever the case may be). Either way, I agree you should do it sooner rather than later, for both of you. I wish you luck, with this and your ~fabulous asexual journey~! Welcome! :cake:

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Hermit Advocate

I agree with @Mermaidy, don't even bring us asexuality. It has only been 2 weeks. Simply tell him that you don't feel anything for him and you wish to dissolve the relationship. Quick, easy, and no fuss about sexual orientation. Don't let it drag on. As much as it sucks, it's better to get things over with quickly. Good luck. 

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Nylocke

Usually it takes time before you have feelings for someone whether you're asexual or not but if 2 weeks in doesn't do it then its not going anywhere and you should definitely be honest about it.

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Just like Jughead

Really? You don’t have any feelings for him and you don’t know how to say that to him? And you want to use asexuality as your reason because you think that’s going to make it better. I’m sure you didn’t have any feelings for him before you “discovered” you were asexual, so let’s not bring that into it. That really makes all asexuals sound like their orientation means they can’t have feelings for other people. 

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Just like Jughead

And another thing. The ONLY time you break up with someone and use asexuality as the reason is if the other person is wanting to have sex and you just don’t want to and are uncomfortable with it and don’t think you’re ever going to be able to. That had nothing to do with “feelings” for someone else. 

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