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BlueHairedFairy

Asexuality and Depression (Is There a Connection?)

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BlueHairedFairy

I have dealt with depression for some time now and discovered the word 'asexual' about a year ago. I am definitely asexual (have been forever and I have never had any romantic relationships) and I am glad that I now have a word for what I had trouble describing before. But, I wonder if there is a connection between my asexuality and my depression. My only theory is that I am depressed because I feel that although I am asexual (I will add that I identify as a female, but I like masculine activities and like to wear some men's clothing), I cannot openly live that way because of pressure from family and friends. I am constantly told that I just haven't met Mr. Right yet. I am so over it and frustrated. Surely I am not the only one dealing with this?

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Rhaenys

Depends cause depression medication can affect the body and could lead to people mistakenly thinking they are asexuality.

 

I can only speak for myself but I've always shown signs of asexuality before I was depressed and my depression is more external like doing stuff and living a life I am not happy with so that isn't really connected to my sexual orientation.

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MadMax

Hm, well in my experience I've sometimes felt sad but i guess there was a line between that and when i was questioning my sexuality. I guess maybe because its two different descriptives. However, it is possible that one could have the effect on the other and vice versa.

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in.visible

Well... I guess I have been both my entire life, so I can't say for sure. But what I can say - I have been in a relationship once and I felt more miserable than usual. As soon as I was on my own I got better. So no, not necessarily for me? 

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heartsandbones

I'll mention first that my technical diagnosis is depressive tendencies, not full blown depression, but I can tell you that being the way I am (haven't found a perfect label for it yet) has kind of brought on or worsened depressive episodes for me. I start feeling like I'll be alone forever or that I'll never find the kind of connection I'm looking for because of my preferences and bam... everything is suddenly very melancholy. I'm actually going through a touch of this right now due to a particular set of circumstances, thus here I am.  

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CrazyDiamond

It is very troubling for me because whilst I remember not being sexually attracted to people as a young teen I could've been just a "late bloomer" as it were. Now I'm pretty anhedonic for most things but I crave human connection so It has become messy in my head.

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Purge

 A loss of interest in sexual activity is one of the symptoms of depression. I suffered from depression for quite some time before God delivered me from it, but I still consider myself Ace.

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Star Bit

LGBT are more likely to suffer from depression, but I don't think studies have been done on whether it's due to the social standings of their orientation, other issues, or a hereditary condition. Depression and certain medications can kill sex-drive, but that's not the same as asexuality; innately not desiring sex ever.

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Kersenne

I don't think that asexuality means depression - although I was sad at times about my asexuality, I was never depressed because of it. Perhaps it is more your environment that depresses you, the fact that you feel you can't be yourself around your family and the pressure that is around you to 'conform'? 

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Amathy

Asexuals are often alienated by living in a overly sexualized society. It would make sense to me that there was a correlation between asexuality and depression.

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utca

I was already depressed by the time I admitted to myself that I was ace. Once I accepted it, I took a sharp turn downward and it's definitely one of the negative thoughts that runs through my head a lot. So in my case, the asexuality increased my depression, but it didn't start it.

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E is for E

I've been doing research on this myself, and the only thing I found was an older article on research done about depression and asexuality. A high percentage of those who fall under the banner of asexuality have reported depressive tendencies, but I think it's still to vague to make an accurate judgement. Whether it's a depression caused by asexuality, or asexuality caused by depression or some type of trauma varies on an individual basis. The question I have on my mind is the rising number. Are more people coming out as asexual simply because a spotlight now exists on it, or is there an actual rising growth in numbers?

 

I know that in my case, it's hard to pinpoint. I've been dealing with depression for a very long time, and as far back as I can remember, there was almost no sexual interest or attraction for anybody. I had a short exploratory period with porn but none of it really registered with me, and in fact, some of it flat out grossed me out. I deal with depression today, and I know that the thoughts and concerns of being alone, dying alone, and having always been alone, fuel it. I'm not worried so much about my preferences themselves, just that my preferences, my circumstances, and who I am make it incredibly difficult to find anybody I can connect with.

 

I hear you on the Mr. Right thing though. People always comment that I'm alone and ask if I've picked up a girlfriend yet. I know they don't mean any harm by it, but it always twists the knife a little deeper, you know?

 

 

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