Past and future relationships

[Lostandalone]

I am 21, and recently I've been doing a lot of reflection on my past relationships and how exactly they've gone. Within the past couple months, I've begun to think I could be asexual, and the more I look into my past relationships, the more sense it makes. All of them are less than 2.5 months and It's always after my boyfriend wants to kiss me. As soon as the topic is brought up, there's this pressure to engage in it, but I always end the relationship before I can bring myself to do it. To me, I've reasoned that as soon as the pressure to be intimate (I.e. kissing, or be sexual) appears, or creeps up, i get freaked out, or scared, and I run. I love cuddling and holding hands, and the emotional support that comes with a relationship, but, I feel like the expectation to have sex creeps up like its expected of me. 

Add for my future relationships, as a college student in this hook up culture, I find it very hard to find a guy who doesn't want sex or intimacy in one way or another. I guess my ultimate question is how do I manage being asexual In a hookup culture? I hate being lonely, hence the name, and I genuinely have no clue where to start. Anything really is helpful,

Thanks 💙

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

I've only had two serious long-term relationships (online / real life)  in my life so far worth mentioning, just a long time before I realized my true identity last year. There have been lots of short love affairs inbetween wich turned out very bad in the end as well just for the fact that I didn't really want to sleep with my partners that often, forcing myself into something I couldn't really deal with.

 

However, I think the best way to find a suitable ace match is to connect with other same-minded people on the internet or local meet ups within your area and as for that AVEN seems to be a pretty good start It will take some time and patience but it's always worth trying. I'll keeping my finger crossed for you

[BooTheArtist]

6 hours ago, Lostandalone said:

I love cuddling and holding hands, and the emotional support that comes with a relationship, but, I feel like the expectation to have sex creeps up like its expected of me. 

I relate to this all to much. I'm going through that right now and it's hard, but to find people that feel the same way as you should help a lot. I believe so.

Hope that helped? lol

[A shard of glass]

I have kind of a similar but opposite issue :/ I really love all the intimate stuff like sex, but kissing is something I'm very on the fence about... as long as they're not a terrible kisser, I'm happy kissing them :3 however, finding someone is the difficult thing :/ hmmmm...

 

I understand the frustration as I find it hard to find someone :/