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Ok I’m just curious about something for example I had, previous to figuring out asexual existed had thought that it was weird that when I am making friends it’s seems to be as hard as asking someone out and stuff. I’m confused as to if this is just being oversenitive or something else ideas?

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Dang it even now when ppl reply to my questions I get super nervous on seeing what they say.

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Semiterrestrial Scientist

It’s normally hard for me to make friends too. At least in person. You don’t have to be nervous. All of the people I’ve met on here so far have been very kind and welcoming. If you can’t take my word for it, check it out yourself. Have some cake to settle your nerves🎂

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I know what you feel. I'm the same. In real life, my friends were always the ones that came to me and started conversations. I wouldn't even looked at them or made the first move. This is because I value friendship more than anything, so I tend to be vwry selective in who I let enter my life. Also, due to bullying. 

 

I have been active on the forums for a year and I still am afraid of intruding in threads. The only ones I feel at ease to reply are the gaming ones in AVEN Arcade and some in Just for fun and The Chatterbox, in the other forums, I still am nervous and anxious of replying. 

 

However, this is stupid, because everyone is so nice and welcoming. Everyone here just wants for people to find acceptance and a safe place were they can be happy and themselves without fear. 

 

So, welcome! And hope you can enjoy your time around! :cake:

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J. van Deijck

making friends is hard, indeed.

I'm recently trying to become a friend of a guy I have a serious squish on. he is nice to me, but I can't get over the feeling that he doesn’t really care if I am there or not. (and he used to treat me better in the past...).

I'm not even surprised. if I got to talk to someone like me, I would probably think "omg what a weirdo, please take him away from me" or whatever. so I don't blame him. but my heart breaks. I really have some sort of platonic feelings for him, and I wish I wasn't that weird and hopeless and anxious. maybe I would impress him more.

at least here on forums it's different. I engage in anything I want and I've made many friends here. and I hope you can, too. it's a friendly community.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
On 3.12.2017 at 4:22 AM, Syrthia said:

It’s normally hard for me to make friends too. At least in person.

 

9 hours ago, Topi said:

I know what you feel. I'm the same. In real life, my friends were always the ones that came to me and started conversations. I wouldn't even looked at them or made the first move. This is because I value friendship more than anything, so I tend to be vwry selective in who I let enter my life. Also, due to bullying.

I totally agree with @Syrthia and @Topi. It's really hard to get connected and started sometimes but I find it a lot easier to become friends with people on the internet than  walking up to people in the streets or social events (actually the weirdest thing I could ever imagine). It might be because of low self-esteem or physical issues but even if I would be one those pretty, charming, successful beings I couldn't imagine getting close to someone I don't know at all.  I know that a lot of people actually do make friends like this but I just don't get it.

 

You just can't become friends over having a few drinks + random small-talk conversation with loud party music and cheering crowds all around. Same goes for concerts or conventions etc. You can certainly make contact with others but that doesn't mean that it's turning into a serious friendship some day.

 

However, AVEN really saved my life :D I never thought that I would ever be able to meet so many amazing different ace characters in my entire life!!

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I think where and how you meet someone in RL makes a huge difference to the potential bond. Meeting someone in a bar or club, half wasted, has always been a very 'throwaway' low value start to knowing someone in my experience. Compared to chatting to a work colleague over coffee every day. The latter inherently has a lot more respect, honesty and doesn't have any sexual tension (normally) so it seems way more valuable to me.

I had friends who would deliberately go to the loudest bar in town so they didn't have to bother making conversation but still ended up having sex. It really is that superficial for many people.

I guess making friends is so important for you that it carries a fair bit of angst. You can't really force it to happen, just make connections and some will grow, others won't.

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Space-Ace-Android

While this is a friendly community, it can be hard to work up the courage to talk to others, especially on offering advice when you do not know whether or not it shall help, but it is nice to try! :)

 

For friends I would suggest going to a place with others who have similar interests so you could bond with others. Being nervous/ and/or being selective just means that when you make a friend they shall be a good one. :3

 

 I wish you luck!

 

 

 

:cake:CAKE:cake:

Image result for  CAke

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