So disconnected from people of my age

[Lucas Monteiro]

[This post can be TMI for some people, so I advice that if you can be triggered easily, to not read]

 

So today I went to an party, just to meet my best friends and have some good time with them, just talking and chilling. What I didn't know is that the party would be more envolved around sexual themes. Almost all the songs were about funk carioca (I hate those types of songs, they are really sexist and only talk about man doing sex and whatever they want with women in general), and the girls from the party were really, excuse me if this offend someone, bitches. They would do sexual positions in front of you and everybody, just because that's what people like right ? Well, not me at least. My friends thought would be a good thing to hook me up with some girl, and they did exactly that. The girl was really beautiful, but I didn't care, I said to the girl that I didn't wanted to be there with her, but she kissed me and after that got mad and said for me to leave because I didn't wanted to be there and so I did that, because I didn't care for doing sexual or sensual things, and would not be forced to do just because people think this is fun or nice to do.

 

Anyway, I just feel so disconnected from people of my age (I'm 19 years old), while they are talking and thinking about sex and sexual things, I am thinking about Science and intellectual things, and today this was an reminder for me that I am so different from the people of my age. I just get mad that those thoughts of not being like everybody else makes me feel bad about me, that I can't just act like everybody do. People look at me and even seems that they have pity of me, because who would not want sex ? People look at me and says that because I am handsome, I should get all the girls and have sex with them, because why not ? 

 

This situation opened my eyes, I am really at some part of my life were it will get worst this sexualization, and were I will face my demons, they are out there saying that I am nobody for not acting like everybody, they are out there saying that because I don't care for sex and sexual things, I will suffer for being just me. I am just tired, and this is just the beggining, and I am afraid. Afraid of what will happen when I just give up and let the others make my mind.

 

 

[LeChat]

Okay, with the trigger warning, I was expecting a lot worse, like discussing graphic sexual abuse. For others who might be thinking the same thing and are worried about reading it, it doesn't have that at all: it only mentions sex in a general sense (not graphically) and one swear word.

 

Yes. I relate to how you feel different from others around you.

 

[Lucas Monteiro]

7 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Okay, with the trigger warning, I was expecting a lot worse, like discussing graphic sexual abuse. For others who might be thinking the same thing and are worried about reading it, it doesn't have that at all: it only mentions sex in a general sense (not graphically) and one swear word.

 

Yes. I relate to how you feel different from others around you.

 

I know, but I respect a lot people from here. And I know that there is some sensitive people here at AVEN, so I thought would be good to give some warning even that not being an trigger for me.

[Knight of Cydonia]

It sounds like you're not hanging out with the right people. There are plenty of people out there (not just asexuals) that don't appreciate that kind of behaviour and conversation too. Plus being at a party is its own environment that doesn't necessarily bring out the best in people who think otherwise, so don't judge people your age just off that.

[paperbackreader]

I can empathise, it's harder when you feel isolated when you're with a lot of other people.

 

Whenever I'm in a similar position where I feel uncomfortable my solution is to find solace in taking it as a life experiment, being an impartial but thorough observer and to try and work it out anthropologically and psychologically. It doesn't usually help with fitting in, but at least it gives me a purpose, helps me pass time without feeling resentful and allows me to spend time with some of the people who you care about which may feel just as awkward but have more need to 'fit in' socially. But if your friends give you gripe, explain that you don't tell them how to live their lives, why should they tell you how to live yours?

 

And every so often, even in a group of what seems to be all hormone driven youth, you will find someone with the same tendencies, and will have a conversation about physics, careers, books, futurism... Sometimes from places you least expect! 

 

Sorry to hear it's affected you so much and made you feel so tired. X

[Rhaenys]

On 02/12/2017 at 10:53 PM, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Okay, with the trigger warning, I was expecting a lot worse, like discussing graphic sexual abuse. For others who might be thinking the same thing and are worried about reading it, it doesn't have that at all: it only mentions sex in a general sense (not graphically) and one swear word.

 

Yes. I relate to how you feel different from others around you.

 

I don't blame them knowing how easily ppl get triggered plus it could be uncomfortable seeing as the chick seemingly forcibly kissed him.

 

Yeah OP I've felt the way you do. When I was a teen my obsession was with football and anime while chicks were obsessing over guys. I still feel the same way when my roomates try to talk about their love life and all I wanna do is reread GoT. I think you aren't hanging around the right people tbh. I honestly pity those that pity you since they can't have fun without sex apparently that's a sad life. 

You are how you are and the world will try to break you but no matter what they try it's not gonna change you. If others make up your mind you'll be far more unhappy.