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Sara_l

Ashamed of being Biromantic...?

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Sara_l

Hey guys. I am 17, and a girl. I also happen to be Biromantic with a preference to girls. But I don’t know why I feel ashamed. Everyone around me hates gay people. Whenever my friends are talking about their “straight” crushes, and I am just sitting there like “haha, yeah. Ikr.” I feel so horrible that I can’t talk about who I like, cause they’ll probably feel uncomfortable. Some of my friends say they’re cool with gay people, but I am sure they’ll jump if I ever come out to them. They’ll start spreading shit.  My parents are homophobic, and sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t ever be able to find a partner. As of being Biromantic... Even if I do, I am sure the other person will get tired of me not fulfilling their sexual needs or crap like that, cause I am seriously not into that. I feel horrible about myself everyday.. Is there anything that can help.? I just wish at times I was a normal straight person. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

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Space-Ace-Android

I offer you many hugs! :3

Image result for cat hugs

 

You have at least come out to those on AVEN and if you do not wish to pursue a sexual relationship then I would suggest meeting with other asexual people, or talking about your issues online. :3 I would suggest coming out to a friend you know will not blab and has said that they are okay with gay people, it can help!

 

If your parents are homophobic then do not come out to them until you have changed their minds about those who are gay, or at least those with a different orientation.

If they do not change their mind, do not come out to them. (*hugs* I hope yo can come out to them though!)

 

It can be hard coming out, and if it is not the time for you yet to come out, then do not. AVEN will be here for support <3

 

Welcome cake! <3

Image result for Sarah CAke

A cake with your username on it! :3

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Lichley

Sounds like you need some more respectful friends. Their negative attitude is making you feel bad about yourself and who you are. It's not something you or anyone can control, so you shouldn't be judged for feeling the way you feel.

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Star Bit

There are asexual dating sites, asexual meetups scheduled on and off of AVEN, and an asexual dating/friend app called Aceapp. But I personally wouldn't come out to your friends; it doesn't sound safe. Some people can even lie about it; seeming like a nice aquaintance or continue being your friend but calling you bad names behind your back (that's what my parents do to our gay neighbors from a block away; they're hetero-elitists). "We don't got any of that in out blood" *caugh* *bi (with possibly same homoflexible leaning as OP)* *caugh* It doesn't bug me though; we already don't get along.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

Welcome to Aven!:cake:💖

Lichley is right, you need more respectful friends.

Their negativity is making you  feel ashamed about yourself and that's not okay.

I would suggest not telling your friends about your sexual and romantic orientation if you feel like they will start spreading shit.

Friendship is about trust and royalty and if you don't think some of your friends will accept you for who you are, then maybe you should consider breaking off your friendship with them.  

 

Do not tell your parents about your sexual/romantic orientation. If you feel that they will mistreat you because of who you are, it's best not to tell.

If you see a positive change in them in terms of their feelings towards lgbt+ folks,then it maybe okay to tell them! If their views stay the same, it's best not to say anything.

 

Like Star bit says, there are many asexual dating sites you can go check out. 

Please don't feel horrible about yourself. There is nothing wrong or shameful about who you are.

 

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FoxyCipher

I can sympathize completely! As a fellow "closet" biromantic (although I have a preference towards males, not females - I've dated both and made a conscious decision on this) with homophobic, religious parents, I know exactly how it feels to "want to be straight". My parents disapprove of my friend group - made up of asexuals, lesbians, a pansexual trans female-to-male, and a few GSA (Gender-Sexuality and/or Gay-Straight Alliance) friends - strictly because it goes against our religion (Christianity) and our family values. I'm glad to have such a supportive friend group, and I wish you had one as well.

 

Stay strong, friend. We'll get through this together, no matter how long it takes. (And no matter how many relationship-based skeletons in our closets! XD)

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