So what now?

[LoopingBear]

I’ve been asexual all my life but only recently have I had a word for it. This is great for me because I no longer feel so much like an outsider - I feel like there is a place for me. When I first got together with my husband I was sick of having to fake sexual interest so I told him pretty early on that I neither wanted, nor liked sex. He didn’t understand but he went with it and we are now married with 2 kids.

But now I have something real to identify with. If someone asked me outright I would want to tell them - except that would be wrong before having spoken to him. But then nothing really has changed - or has it? I’m just trying to work out where to go with this now and would really appreciate some input from someone who has already been in my position.

Thanks for reading x

[fallenangell]

It sounds like your relationship works for the both of you. You can tell him there's a word to describe you and you are not alone, but it shouldn't change anything about the way you function together. So do come out if you want to, but you also don't have to. And I think it's really personal, friends and family don't have to know if you want sex or not, you don't owe them that. Only do it for yourself

[LoopingBear]

Thanks I appreciate that. You are right - it’s a very personal business. My husband is one of my very best friends so I think I do owe him something by way of explanation (and even education). This is a big thing for me so I want to talk it through with someone close - and he’s the closest. Anyone else - well let’s see how we go...