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SilentRose

Aromantics...how long have you been able to maintain relationships in the past? Did you even try to?

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SilentRose

The reason I ask is because I feel like the first few weeks are always super easy but I inevitably crash and burn around the 3 month mark. I'm currently in my longest relationship to date, about 7 months I think but I'm not keeping track, my partner is romantic. I really like him and I want to stay with him because I think it would be awesome to be super close best friends who live together and kiss sometimes...but he's quite romantic and I'm struggling. 

 

How long have you all been able to maintain romantic relationships? Or do you think they aren't worth it? If you have had one long term, what's the secret? 

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EmotionalAndroid

I've never dated in my entire life, as I have never had the faintest desire to do so. Therefore, I don't have any experience with keeping up with relationships and all that, unfortunately. In truth, I haven't even had non-family friends (IRL) in over 12 years.

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Star Bit

You desire to be in a relationship? That's the opposite of Aro. You could have romantic feelings but just low-key ones; it's experienced in a vast array of ways and not just the media's popularized depiction of it. Getting turned off by over-reciprocation is normal. Not feeling romantically but desiring a relationship is called Cupioromantic or Gray-romantic. Also, does he know you don't feel romantically? For me, when I tried being in a relationship when I didn't feel so for the other person, it was the effective lie that ate at me (that he thought I reciprocated) rather than the romantic actions themselves. I really think if I was in that situation again (crushes being rare for me) I'd be perfectly fine; if they knew.

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TopHatCat

I never really tried any relationships or cared, and then by chance I logged on (onto Runescape) at the same time as a friend of mine after 5 years of no contact. We talked and exchanged Skypes, and got to know more about each other. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met, I could tell he liked me and I assumed we would start dating but I started to feel weird. I felt a bad kind of sickness and dreaded receiving more Skype messages from him, even though as a friend I enjoyed his company!

 

This was 2 months after I'd discovered asexuality and started identifying as ace, I had just assumed I was romantic. I went back and read the definitions of aromanticism, which I had previously skipped over, and found that my experiences were consistent with what other people described. I felt horrible for a bit, and after about 2 days I had the courage to tell him, he had the right to know.

 

His response was very kind and he apologized if he had made me feel obligated to feel a certain way. We still update each other on life changes now and then, since we're both at the age where significant milestones happen frequently.

 

That was the closest I ever got (and probably ever will get) to a relationship, I was able to tell that a friendship was fulfilling enough for me.

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Galactic Turtle

I've never dated because I don't want to BUT my friends have been my friends for a loooong time. :P 

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Gloomy

I've never been in a romantic relationship, and most likely never will.

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StormySky

I don't think I could tolerate it for any more than a week, tbh :/

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IceHurricane

I'm pretty much the exact same as you. Normally around the 3-month mark is where it gets the hardest for me, and I normally break it off. I've been in my current relationship for almost 9 months now, which is the longest relationship for me. She's admitted that she thought about breaking up with me a few times to put me out of my misery basically but she likes me too much so she stays. :lol: To me, it's like a best friend but with sex and a lot of compromising. 

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SamwiseLovesLife

Maximum 2 weeks. Then they're telling me they love me and i'm like hell no *insert Grumpy cat 'nope' meme*

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chandrakirti

I get that @SamwiseLovesLife, it's kinda creepy when someone declares their 'undying love' and it really turns me off and ruins what I see as a great friendship.

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Star Bit

Getting turned off by "I love you" before you reciprocate it is extremely normal too.

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helana12_03

A couple of months on and off. Relationships aren't my thing.

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