Confused.Kitten Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Is it wrong to be in a relationship when you feel you might not love your partner as much as you loved someone in the past? Is it wrong to let them know that? Link to post Share on other sites
Amathy Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Feelings develop over time and at different rates for different pairings of people. Also, it sounds as if you are uncertain about quantifying your feelings since you used the word 'might'. Regardless, I don't think that your feelings for any past relationship should influence your current one. In my opinion, its only wrong to be in a relationship if you can say with absolute determination that one of the people in the relationship does not want to be in the relationship, it is not healthy for one of the people in the relationship to be in the relationship, or there are lifestyle differences that can absolutely not be overcome that will in the future make someone in the relationship miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
Kersenne Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 I agree with Amathy, feelings can develop over time, and be different for every partner you will/might have. If you feel good with your current partner, and you want to build something together, then you start with this. If however you feel that you might have important lingering feelings for your ex-partner and fear that this might have a negative impact on your current relationship, then perhaps you should talk about it together. I guess it all depends on how you're feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
WhyCantIBeACat Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 hour ago, Confused.Kitten said: Is it wrong to be in a relationship when you feel you might not love your partner as much as you loved someone in the past? This would make it virtually impossible to have a second relationship, unless the first was disastrous. At the beginning of the second relationship you are bound to be less attracted than at the peak of your first - you barely know the second person yet. It's natural and only something to worry about if your feelings for your current partner plateau too low. 1 hour ago, Confused.Kitten said: Is it wrong to let them know that? Yep, unless you're trying to break up with them, otherwise you have to give the relationship time to grow and develop. There is nothing more off-putting than being compared to an idealised ex-partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Space-Ace-Android Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Sometimes feeling of love are not as intense as the first time (as it was your first) and it is okay to have less strong feelings towards one you love. It is not wrong to now 'love' them as much, love also comes in different forms, a brief flame, a slow candle that never burns out and many others, give it time for your relationship to grow :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Moonchaser Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 It's not wrong to feel that way, as others have said, feelings develop over time, and from a long marriage I can say that there are ups and downs in feelings over time as well. But I would not tell them that, if you want to stay in the relationship. You might understand your own nuance in feeling that, but they will not necessarily understand that nuance and it may very well sound more like "I don't love you," than what you intend. Probably best to keep quiet about that and work it out internally, maybe ask yourself what comparisons you're making between the two people and why they matter to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused.Kitten Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Well this is actually about my boyfriend . Sometimes he feels he's not being enough to me or that he wont be able to love me as much as his first love... He bringed this up a few time ago. I Share your opinion , I was just wondering Link to post Share on other sites
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