that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 *This post goes off of my other post about disliking myself. **Also, I don't know if I posted this in the right place... So lately I have been thinking that maybe I am a female in the body of a male. I am probably just losing my head... I can't turn to anyone in my family because they would probably disown me on the spot. Is what I am thinking crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 it's not. some doubts and questions can appear at any time in life. you don't need to experience them since you were a little child. you just need to figure out what you really want and feel, but it's usually a long process. anyways, good luck. *sends hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Not crazy at all. There are plenty of people who are female but assigned male at birth. It happens. What are you thinking you’d like to do about it? Do you want to be referred to as female? Do you want to transition? Or not? It’s all up to you. I’m sorry that you feel your family would disown you. I know what that’s like. It’s a hard thing for a family to accept sometimes. But know that we can be here for you if you need. There are plenty of us, myself included, who’ve gone through a lot of it. Just remember that you’re not crazy at all. It’s a thing that happens sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 You are not alone and are not crazy at all. *hugs* Take your time. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 First: My parents don't believe in that. So they would probably disown me... I think my sister would be the only one who would support me (in my family). Second: I feel like I would be more confident being a female. I just don't feel like I really am a male. (Really hard to put into words... ) Physically I am the definition of a male, but... I don't know. I have just been lately really questioning who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 it's okay. *hugs* one day you will most likely figure it out <3 just don't rush it. let it flow. also, I sympathise with you when it comes to families. mine is both trans- and homophobic, except for my sis ._. just remember, if everyone else turns their back to you, she's gonna be with you. it's precious. <3 Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 18 minutes ago, that._.irish._.guy said: Second: I feel like I would be more confident being a female. I just don't feel like I really am a male. (Really hard to put into words... ) Physically I am the definition of a male, but... I don't know. I have just been lately really questioning who I am. You are not alone in feeling this way. Not at all. Know that these are normal feelings to have, ok? It’s alright if you can’t really put it into words. I have a hard time describing it too. It’s best demonstrated via actions and how you end up living your life. If you think you’d be more confident as a female person, that’s fine. You’re probably right. I know for me, my confidence has increased a lot since transitioning. I have a long way to go, but you can trust your instincts. Sorry to hear about how bad your family would be. That’s never easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Like many here said, you wouldn't be the first, who is in the wrong body. The good thing in this time is, science can change it. Do you feel yourself feminine or do you only think, that you would have more confidents as a woman? If the second part, why do you think you would feel more confident as a woman? Are you personality-wise more soft as a "stereotypical" male or is it something different? You should ask yourself those questions really often, maybe the answer is far easier as you may think. Naturally you could ask me or others here, about the change process. Many here are interested in such things. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 What is it like being in transition? Did changing help? Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 For most people it really helps. It will probably only help, if you really feel female. I may be wrong, but you seem to be unsure. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 30 minutes ago, that._.irish._.guy said: What is it like being in transition? Did changing help? It’s scary as hell, and one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my whole life. Has it helped? Yes, definitely. I feel confident about myself in a way I never have before. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 I strongly doubt I could change, since my job basically requires me to be a male. I would change if I could, but currently, I can not... I wonder what people would say if I did change. I also wonder what I would change my name to. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Which job would require you to be male? People who like you, would encourage you. I think the name isn't one of the most important parts. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 10 minutes ago, Yuki said: Which job would require you to be male? People who like you, would encourage you. I think the name isn't one of the most important parts. It doesn't require me to be male... But it is VERY physically demanding work and being one helps a little. I know a name isn't the most important thing, but I like to think of things like that. Controls my nerves. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Do you want to look feminine? You don't need to be a woman, who has a "delicate" body. Ohh, if it helps you, then it is good. Several transpeople simply change their name to the opposite gender. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 True. I just don't think now is the best time. I love this job, plus I think if I do change then I may no longer be able to work there... Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 hour ago, that._.irish._.guy said: It doesn't require me to be male... But it is VERY physically demanding work and being one helps a little. The amount of muscle you lose is highly variable. I was always kind of weak, and I'm still pretty weak. It's not like you become a completely different person. Through exercises and weight training you can retain much of your muscle mass and capacity. Alternatively, maybe you could use this as an opportunity for a career change. If transition becomes that important to you. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 3 hours ago, butterflydreams said: The amount of muscle you lose is highly variable. I was always kind of weak, and I'm still pretty weak. It's not like you become a completely different person. Through exercises and weight training you can retain much of your muscle mass and capacity. Alternatively, maybe you could use this as an opportunity for a career change. If transition becomes that important to you. Well, I am a blacksmith... And I love my job. I don't think I could change my career. However, I do feel like transition is a serious idea... Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I know of at least one trans woman blacksmith on tumblr. I can’t remember her name at the moment, might be ladyferal or something like that. It can definitely be done. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Thank you everyone. I feel a lot better now. I think I will go through with a transition in the future. When I do, I'll keep you all updated. I feel like it is the best choice. I think things will be a lot better when I change. I'll also be a lot more confident in myself... Also, from now on can everyone call me her, or she? Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 My family and friends will most likely disown me. But I have all of you! Plus I'll be happy with myself. And that is the most important thing... Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Then why don't you change from a "heavy" blacksmith to more finer metal works? You still have your dreamjob and a new body. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Yuki said: Then why don't you change from a "heavy" blacksmith to more finer metal works? You still have your dreamjob and a new body. True. I see what I could do. Currently, I forge knives and swords. But I could also try "smaller" things. Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Hiya! I just wanted to step in and say that, no matter what, you are completely valid! Learning you're trans can be terrifying, you might feel alone, or lose people who you thought to be friends, you might be intimidated by the idea of transitioning, and it's all completely normal. Not everyone transitions, and there's different types of transitioning. For example I'm a transmale, but I've chosen just to socially transition without HRT or surgery currently. There's so many options, and you are not less real based on what you choose. Real friends will still support you and accept you for who you are regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 I am really split on what to do... I don't want to rush into this. If I stay the same, I will have my dream job, family, and friends, however, I wouldn't be confident in myself. If I do transition, I may no longer have my dream job, may lose most of my family and friends, however, I would be confident in myself. Maybe I should just "socially transition" like @Flower Boy said... Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 On 11/30/2017 at 9:25 PM, that._.irish._.guy said: ...Also, from now on can everyone call me her, or she? Hi. Sure. Just to let you know that, with your username, it's possible that others might accidently forget or slip up and use an incorrect pronoun, without reading your pronoun in your profile. You can change that, too, if you want. You don't have to rush into transitioning if you don't want to; other trans people sometimes also take their time in deciding whether they'd like to transition. Some start off small, with just trying out clothes in the privacy of their home, to see how they feel about it; then slowly begin telling a few of their family members or close friends, before venturing out into the world wearing them, full time. It definitely does help to actually try it out; when I was a kid, I initially thought it'd be cool to be male (but I wasn't aware of, nor taught about transgender people) because I couldn't exactly relate to my female classmates who were interested in makeup, rather than sports (vice versa for them, too), nor how most female characters in movies and T.V. were portrayed. At the time, the male characters seemed to be the ones who did a lot of exciting things, whereas, female characters only seemed to be interested in romance and wanting a boyfriend. Being called male in real life helped me realize that it didn't feel right for me, that it wasn't what I wanted, after all. It sounds a little sad, though, if you have to leave your job--just because you transitioned--when athletic females who can lift several hundred pounds of barbells in the Olympics exist. I think I also remember seeing a female blacksmith, online. There's this one. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-454192/Shes-hot--The-blonde-blacksmith.html Link to post Share on other sites
Yuki Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Are they really friends then? Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 Maybe not... But I can not just allow all my friends to go. Some of them don't believe in transgender people, but they are good friends... Link to post Share on other sites
caetxln Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 On 2.12.2017 at 5:40 AM, that._.irish._.girl said: I am really split on what to do... I don't want to rush into this. If I stay the same, I will have my dream job, family, and friends, however, I wouldn't be confident in myself. If I do transition, I may no longer have my dream job, may lose most of my family and friends, however, I would be confident in myself. Maybe I should just "socially transition" like @Flower Boy said... If your physical body is not bothering you but you still like a female in the inside you may don't need to physically transition.Physical transition is something people really should consider before acting.Because detransition is harder than transition itself.In the other hand,if you really be happy and confident you should transition.Because we can't choose our families biologically,we can choose our parents,our friends.Because believe it or not there is some people would accept you and be by your side no matter what.So it is up to you,do whatever you think would be best for you Link to post Share on other sites
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