lost but content Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hi all. I found this group a month or so ago when I started learning about asexuality. There's so much good stuff to read on this forum and such a welcoming environment. I can't say enough how amazing it feels to find out I'm not alone. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel about this. I know I don't want sex or a sexual relationship with another person. But other than that, it's all very new and confusing. Mostly I'm still getting over the shock that there isn't something wrong with me for not wanting the 'biological norm' (as one friend recently described it to me). The BBC articles on Ace are where it all began. Now I'm reading The Invisible Orientation and am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the different variety and labels people use for different orientations. It's a whole new language and I'm nervous that I'll say the wrong thing or use a word wrongly somehow. Lately, I've felt very isolated from my peers. They are all on their second child and there's pressure for me to pair up before my eggs expire. In the past when I've tried to find a partner, everything falls apart because they want a physical relationship and it's not interesting to me. So I gave up, expecting to spend the rest of my days as a lonely old spinster, slash, mad chicken lady. The thing is, I do like the idea of finding someone to share a life with, probably a guy. We could build a life together, with a house, maybe a farm, work together on projects, but also have our own separate interests. Is it possible to share a life with another without a physical relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
EmotionalAndroid Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome! I'm so glad you found us and are on the road to discovering yourself! AVEN is a very friendly and open place, and I am sure you can get a lot of questions answered and meet other like-minded folks! Don't worry about saying the wrong thing! Feel free to explore and ask questions. Everyone starts somewhere, and we're all learning some way or another. I've never been in any kind of relationship of any kind, so I can't offer too much firsthand advice about without intimacy, but I am fairly certain that it is possible. A "queerplatonic partner" might be what you are looking for. There is more info here: http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Queerplatonic Link to post Share on other sites
Moon&Stars Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome! I'm glad finding out about asexuality and AVEN has given you a feeling of comfort. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing--people here will be happy to help you learn and understand. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 welcome !! Glad you enjoy being here have cake Link to post Share on other sites
Yatagarasu Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome, welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome to our lovely community, we're all here to help, to chat, to discuss, we're all very likeminded in some ways, the people here are lovely, the atmosphere, brilliant, you couldn't have picked a better place to be. In answer to your question regarding meeting someone, although I never met the lady in person, I met a lady on here, she came from Norway, she met a nice asexual guy from the UK, they've been together for a few years now, she wanted to move here, she came over, they got engaged last November on her birthday, so it goes to show you don't have to be a lonely spinster, there are plenty of other asexual people who feel the same as you, you never know, you may meet one if you were to go to a local meet up, after all, anything is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
lost but content Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Thank you for the warm welcome. Love the picture of the cute baby chicken. I've loads of reading to do, but hope to join in with some of the conversations here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome! Why not look for someone asexual? You could go to meetups or check out some of the ace dating sites to find someone who feels similar to how you do about relationships, and be able to date knowing that your approaching people with similar relationship interests. Link to post Share on other sites
lost but content Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 18 hours ago, Lichley said: Welcome! Why not look for someone asexual? You could go to meetups or check out some of the ace dating sites to find someone who feels similar to how you do about relationships, and be able to date knowing that your approaching people with similar relationship interests. 2 I'm not ready yet, but it sounds good for when I am. I'm very much an introvert, and especially not good in crowds. For now, I'm still trying to realize that how I feel isn't totally wrong. You probably get every newbie saying stuff like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 14 hours ago, lost but content said: I'm not ready yet, but it sounds good for when I am. I'm very much an introvert, and especially not good in crowds. For now, I'm still trying to realize that how I feel isn't totally wrong. You probably get every newbie saying stuff like that. Don't worry about it. Everyone comes through with questions and their own personality and problems. You shouldn't put yourself down just because you think that you're repeating something. One of the main reasons I frequent the welcome lounge so much is because it both helps the person and helps me to further their knowledge on asexuality. If there are there repeats then we know that it's something to educate people on, and something to focus our efforts into to help people better understand us. Trust me, you're not broken. You're just not average, and that's not a bad thing. The average Swede has 1.99 legs. You can't always meet the average expectations. Just focus on being happy with yourself. It's not about condemning yourself to a life without love, it's about using the term asexuality, to help yourself and others understand your emotions, and developing a better understanding of those emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
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