Cobaltprincess Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hey, I’m new around here. Actually, I created my account a few weeks ago but I was too shy to post anything so I was just wandering around the forum reading other people’s post. I guess I should start by talking about myself??? So I’m 15, 16 in 3 days. I realized that I was asexual this summer. I had been questioning my sexuality for about 4 years and then, it just clicked. So when I was in secondary 1 (7th grade), I thought that I was bisexual. What I mean is that I knew I wasn’t gay and I didn’t think I was straight. So I was like, what’s left: bisexual. And it made sense. I liked girls and boys, at least, I thought so... (I’m in an only girls school so it was a bit harder for me to figure out if I liked boys too) I used to read a lot of questions about sexual orientation on different forums hoping to understand what I was. So I knew about asexuality and I thought: maybe I am and that could explain my uncomfortableness towards physical contacts. I ruled it out because I thought that asexuality and aromantism were the same thing and I knew that I felt attracted, in a romantic way, to some people. That is why I stuck with bisexual. It was the closest to how I felt. For the next couple of years I sort of forgot about all of that. It was still in the back of my mind but I didn’t want it (the not knowing) to stress me out so I just repressed all the questions. I wasn’t scared of what would happen if I was bisexual or straight or gay or whatever. I just didn’t know and THAT scared me. So now were at the beginning of 2017. I started really thinking about it again. I thought: I know I’m not gay nor straight. And bisexual doesn’t feel right. There’s pansexuality too but that not it either. WHAT AM I ????? I looked up asexuality again. Maybe I was just too young to understand or maybe there’s different kinds of asexuality. And maybe hearing people’s stories will help me understand so I looked it up on youtube too. I don’t remember what the trigger was but I knew that that was it. I was a romantic asexual. What kind of romantism? It didn’t matter. At least I knew I was asexual. Since then, I really thought about it and I’m pretty sure that I’m panromantic. It felt so good finally knowing. I told one of my best friends about a month ago. She’s gay and I knew she would take it well. She tends to act like a mom sometimes and that is what she did. She said I’m so proud of you and everything, in a mom-ish way. I didn’t really come out to anybody else but if they ask, I tell them. Since then, I just feel so happy. I don’t know everything about myself and I don’t know what the future is but at least I know that part of me. So that was me... How did hou guys know? Did it take as long as me? Did you have the same questions? Am I normal for thinking all of that? I have never talked to other aces and I’d really want to. I want to get to know people like me. I want to know their stories and just feel like I’m not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome! For me, there was no lightbulb moment. When I was younger, I wondered why I was attracted to girls as well as boys. But I didn't know you could be anything other than straight, so I dismissed those feelings as not as real as my attractions to boys. As I got older, I realized that gay and bisexual were things, but I never really thought of myself as bi, but rather as questioning. I heard the term asexual in a couple of places, and I knew I didn't feel any sexual attraction, but it took me a while to actually apply the term to myself. I'm still unsure of my romantic orientation, though. I use the term quoiromantic, which means I can't tell if my attractions are romantic or not. And yes, I think you're normal. There was a thread on here a while back about whether anyone thought they were bi before realizing they were ace, and it sounds like it's pretty common. You're not alone. Congratulations on discovering your identity, and I hope you enjoy the forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Leichel Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hello! I'm new on the site as well even though I was aware of it's existence; I was always too shy to make an account. I hadn't heard much about sexualities (except gay and lesbian) until I was 17, probably because of the neighborhoods I live in and it was never discussed in my family. I only really learned about asexuality when I heard my friend say something about it and asked me if I thought it was possible. Clearly I said yeah because I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone, but I was never really worried about it and had never deeply thought about it. I knew right then I identified with it in some way. Since then I've been doing a lot of research on my own about the whole LGBTQ+ community and I've learned a lot. I'm out (kind of) but it can be scary talking about it still. I think your experience is completely normal. Discovering your identity is a process and it's forever changing, but I'm proud of you for coming to that conclusion. Welcome aboard Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 For me, I always dismissed the idea of romance because people change a lot until they're in their upper 20's, so I figured it'd be unnecessary stress and a waste of time until then. It was always part of this other world (like social media!) that I had no interest to partake in. Junior year I entered an AP Physics class of all males (I'm currently a sophomore in college, majoring in physics). I thought to myself at the start of the year "well everyone here has the same interests as me, if I don't end up dating this year then I don't think I ever will." And I had zero interest in EVERYONE. My senior year I was going through memes on Google images (I don't remember what for) and came across the term "asexual," and I could tell that it was a sexual orientation but one I hadn't seen before. The term kept bothering me so a week later I looked it up, started researching it, and thought "wait a second." I FOUND IT HERE IT IS! One of the common experiences aces have is being shocked to learn that they're the ones who're different with respect to how relevant sex is in their lives. It feels like the most elaborate prank ever, and everyone around you is in on it-this mythical and somehow significant "sexual attraction." That's how I found out, it was just a legitimizing term that I found that described how I had always felt, even if I had never thought about it before. Also, why "cobalt" in your name? It's my favorite element so I have to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobaltprincess Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 16 hours ago, TopHatCat said: Also, why "cobalt" in your name? It's my favorite element so I have to know. It’s my favourite element too! I don’t know why but I have a weird, I wouldn’t say obsession because it’s not that intense but something along those lines, over it. I think I really like the sound of the word and cobalt blue is my favourite colour. Also, I love physics. I think it’s so cool. I’m still in high school so I don’t know that much but electricity and quantum physics are awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Welcome! Have some cake Spoiler That awkward moment when you search for a type of cake and accidentally find the cake that someone before you used. @TheAP Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 4 hours ago, Cobaltprincess said: It’s my favourite element too! I don’t know why but I have a weird, I wouldn’t say obsession because it’s not that intense but something along those lines, over it. I think I really like the sound of the word and cobalt blue is my favourite colour. Also, I love physics. I think it’s so cool. I’m still in high school so I don’t know that much but electricity and quantum physics are awesome. YESSSS PHYSICS!! I love the sound of cobalt and it's the prettiest blue, although my favorite color has always been green. I keep wanting to see it used in jewelry or something so I can compare it to other metals in person. Link to post Share on other sites
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