PoisonPoppy Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hello to everyone out there! I really don't know where to start. Im female 22 years and I really don't know WHAT I identify as. My story: Growing up I was strait and any boyfriend I had was strait. We'd have sex and at times id enjoy it but other times id find it boring and a waste of time (as bad as that sounds). Fast forward to a few years back, I came to the conclusion that I was bi as I like both guys and girls but I haddent twigged at that point that it wasnt that I liked them sexually, I just liked the idea of "the right person" being there for me and me for them, to cuddle and kiss but nothing more really. Now that I finished uni and have been in a solid relationship with my boyfrined for almost 2 years, I dont know what I am... Like, i find him attractive but not sexually, he handsome and all but I dont feel the need for sex. Issue is that he's strait, he likes and enjoys sex and I feel like I am broken, defective. I love him so much but sex just does not appeal to me. Ive tried to explain to him that I think I may be asexual but he can't understand because we do (rarely) have sex and that I was/ am bi and that I still like hentai (real person porn creeps me out). I just don't know what I am and how to explain it. I do have sex but more to show him affection, for him. The act itself is boring to me... I just don't know. Any help or advice would be helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Haze. Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 This sounds a little tricky, and more clarification may be needed... And I'm not all-knowing, but I'll try to help. Sounds greysexual to me at first.... And sex-indifferent, probably... Maybe sex-favourable. I'm not sure. Have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone? I'm not sure if you were attracted or if you just had sex at the beginning of your story there. Entirely hypothetically, if you were sometimes sexually attracted to guys, but not too girls, and romantically attracted to both, then you could be biromantic and grey-heterosexual. This is just my opinion and some info based on what I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
PoisonPoppy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 8 hours ago, Hazel_Elise said: This sounds a little tricky, and more clarification may be needed... And I'm not all-knowing, but I'll try to help. Sounds greysexual to me at first.... And sex-indifferent, probably... Maybe sex-favourable. I'm not sure. Have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone? I'm not sure if you were attracted or if you just had sex at the beginning of your story there. Entirely hypothetically, if you were sometimes sexually attracted to guys, but not too girls, and romantically attracted to both, then you could be biromantic and grey-heterosexual. This is just my opinion and some info based on what I have. I don't think Ive ever been attracted sexually to anyone, more so the idea of love? If that makes sense? At the begining I would prefer guys simply because where I grew up being anything but strait was weird and I was one to take what I could get as I was lonely, (if it involved sex then it was a sacrifice I made and my first time was only because I wanted it over and done with). Only at uni did I have feeling towards girls but once again in the sense of just to be with, cuddle and love, no sexual attraction, though with both guys and girls I think they can be handsome/ beautiful/ cute but never sexual. Youve opened up even more things I never knew I could be 😆 8 hours ago, .Lia said: Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Haze. Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 16 minutes ago, PoisonPoppy said: I don't think Ive ever been attracted sexually to anyone, more so the idea of love? If that makes sense? At the begining I would prefer guys simply because where I grew up being anything but strait was weird and I was one to take what I could get as I was lonely, (if it involved sex then it was a sacrifice I made and my first time was only because I wanted it over and done with). Only at uni did I have feeling towards girls but once again in the sense of just to be with, cuddle and love, no sexual attraction, though with both guys and girls I think they can be handsome/ beautiful/ cute but never sexual. Youve opened up even more things I never knew I could be 😆 You sound like me, actually! Except sex-indifferent (I'm sex-averse). No sexual attraction-> asexual. Romantic attraction to both-> biromantic. That's what it sounds like to me. Link to post Share on other sites
PoisonPoppy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
PoisonPoppy Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 15 minutes ago, Hazel_Elise said: You sound like me, actually! Except sex-indifferent (I'm sex-averse). No sexual attraction-> asexual. Romantic attraction to both-> biromantic. That's what it sounds like to me. That actually makes me really happy, they're labels I am happy with and that really describes who I am 😍✨🍰 Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Haze. Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 4 minutes ago, PoisonPoppy said: That actually makes me really happy, they're labels I am happy with and that really describes who I am 😍✨🍰 Thank you so much! I'm glad I could help! Link to post Share on other sites
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