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The Return of . . . Yep. It's Me


Starlit Sky

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Hi, guys! My name is Brandi. I'm not sure if anyone here will remember me or not. I haven't logged in for about a year now, so if there is anyone it probably won't be a lot. But that's okay! Just like last time, I'd feel really weird about posting without saying hello first, so that's why I'm here.

 

But I should say something, right? In the time that I've been gone, I've discovered that I'm not asexual after all (which wasn't much of a surprise, by the way). Yet, I relate a lot more to asexuals than I do to sexuals. I still can't look at anyone and think about how hot they are. I still don't feel the need to talk forever about sex. I don't even want sex, except for how I want to want sex, and for when my boyfriend and I are doing things and some small parts of me want it. Sometimes it's more than just a small part, but whatever, same difference. Anyway, knowing that I'm sexual hasn't given me complete insight into what my sexuality is. I definitely prefer men in romance, but I am interested in females and those who don't fit the gender binary as well, at least in some ways.

 

I'll end this now. I hope to keep coming back on here every few days, and I'll be seeing you guys around! ^_^

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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Welcome back! I hope all goes well for you and your boyfriend :) 

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  • 11 months later...
On 11/30/2017 at 10:47 AM, Starlit Sky said:

Hi, guys! My name is Brandi. I'm not sure if anyone here will remember me or not. I haven't logged in for about a year now, so if there is anyone it probably won't be a lot. But that's okay! Just like last time, I'd feel really weird about posting without saying hello first, so that's why I'm here.

 

But I should say something, right? In the time that I've been gone, I've discovered that I'm not asexual after all (which wasn't much of a surprise, by the way). Yet, I relate a lot more to asexuals than I do to sexuals. I still can't look at anyone and think about how hot they are. I still don't feel the need to talk forever about sex. I don't even want sex, except for how I want to want sex, and for when my boyfriend and I are doing things and some small parts of me want it. Sometimes it's more than just a small part, but whatever, same difference. Anyway, knowing that I'm sexual hasn't given me complete insight into what my sexuality is. I definitely prefer men in romance, but I am interested in females and those who don't fit the gender binary as well, at least in some ways.

 

I'll end this now. I hope to keep coming back on here every few days, and I'll be seeing you guys around! ^_^

I hunted out this thread so as not to derail this one when you said you're unsure of exactly what kind of sexual you are. I hope you're don't mind the thread necromancy lol.

 

I'm in the same boat in that I'm not really sure if I'm hetero or what. I only actively desire sexual intimacy with people who have penises, but it doesn't matter what their gender identity is (and it's funny because I can't actually have PiV at all, which makes it weird that the penis is so important to me lol). At the same time though, I'm unable to look at men and find them attractive. I have to get to know them and respect them deeply before I can even begin to look at them 'like that'. On the flip side I find almost any woman incredibly attractive to look at and mostly only think of women when I masturbate, haha!! I just have no ability to develop romantic feelings for women and hence am unable to desire sexual intimacy with them. Unless the person has a penis but identifies as a woman, then I can desire her in 'that way'. I have no interest in being intimate with someone who identifies as a man but doesn't have a penis. Sooooo... Am I a messed up hetero? Am I pan with conditions? am I poly (meaning attracted to multiple but not all genders).. then that's all ignoring the fact that I'm primarily fictoromantic and drawn to fictional characters far more strongly than I am to real people :P

 

Anyway what I'm getting at is that I'm feeling you on the whole 'knowing I'm sexual doesn't give me any insight into what kind of sexual I am' thing. I just kind of gave up looking for a label and just say I'm not ace. That sums it up adequately for now. Have you developed any more insight since making this thread? ^_^:cake:

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45 minutes ago, FictoCannibal. said:

I hunted out this thread so as not to derail this one when you said you're unsure of exactly what kind of sexual you are. I hope you're don't mind the thread necromancy lol.

 

I'm in the same boat in that I'm not really sure if I'm hetero or what. I only actively desire sexual intimacy with people who have penises, but it doesn't matter what their gender identity is (and it's funny because I can't actually have PiV at all, which makes it weird that the penis is so important to me lol). At the same time though, I'm unable to look at men and find them attractive. I have to get to know them and respect them deeply before I can even begin to look at them 'like that'. On the flip side I find almost any woman incredibly attractive to look at and mostly only think of women when I masturbate, haha!! I just have no ability to develop romantic feelings for women and hence am unable to desire sexual intimacy with them. Unless the person has a penis but identifies as a woman, then I can desire her in 'that way'. I have no interest in being intimate with someone who identifies as a man but doesn't have a penis. Sooooo... Am I a messed up hetero? Am I pan with conditions? am I poly (meaning attracted to multiple but not all genders).. then that's all ignoring the fact that I'm primarily fictoromantic and drawn to fictional characters far more strongly than I am to real people :P

 

Anyway what I'm getting at is that I'm feeling you on the whole 'knowing I'm sexual doesn't give me any insight into what kind of sexual I am' thing. I just kind of gave up looking for a label and just say I'm not ace. That sums it up adequately for now. Have you developed any more insight since making this thread? ^_^:cake:

If anything I think it's awesome that you dug through so much to get to it :lol: 

 

We are similar in a lot of ways when it comes to this, actually. For me I can find practically anyone and everyone aesthetically attractive, but I'm only romantically attracted to male-presenting people. The more male-presenting they are (regardless of whether they actually identify as male), the more I find them attractive. For me, I don't actually care if someone has a penis, a vagina, or both, as long as I get dem feels.

 

For my sexuality, I'm (almost) the same as you. In fact I usually feel like I'm sexual and just subconsciously repressing my sexuality--but then there are also times when I genuinely feel that I might be more asexual than not. Again like you, though, I've pretty much given up on on labeling it. I know that there are definitely matters relating to my sexuality that I need to work through, so I'm just focusing on doing that. And, maybe, once I do get to the point where I can say it's been worked through, I will be able to see whether that changes anything or not. If it does, that's cool--if it doesn't, that's cool, too ^_^ 

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Welcome back to AVEN!

 

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