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Hey... Kinky Asexual Here


SearchingX

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Hi there,

 

As per my subject... well, I never once thought I was asexual, since I've had interest in BDSM activities since young. But after close to 3 years in the BDSM lifestyle, I've come to realise that my hard limit of 'no sex' is beginning to come across as rather odd... and I dread the thought of sexual intercourse even when I've been in committed relationships. I don't know how familiar people here are with BDSM, but I mainly identify as a submissive. 

 

Relationship wise, I long for everything romantic, have fallen in love before with both men and women... again, minus the desire for sex.

 

Oh, I'm from Malaysia (noticed there are a few Malaysians here! :)). I guess I'm still in the process of figuring out if I can learn to love sex, since it's rather hard to abstain from it when I'm in the kinky lifestyle... we'll see.

 

Look forward to making new friends here, friends who won't ask me why I don't crave or enjoy sex :P I never could answer them, I thought it was my conservative, Christian upbringing... but... heck, I'm going on to 27 soon and I still haven't felt the desire for sex.

 

X

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Hiya fellow ace kinkster!

 

You are not alone. Many of my ace friends are kinksters, it's actually surprisingly common. FetLife even has groups and such for asexuals (though I've left fetlife for personal reasons), and tumblr has quite a few openly kinky asexuals. While I'm not heavily into standard BDSM (more of a petplay kind of guy) I will say you are not at all required to like sex and there's way more to the lifestyle than that.

Don't change just to please others, keep doing you! :cake:

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Hey Flower Boy!

 

That's great to hear. Yes, I recently joined Fetlife's Asexual groups, but I don't know if I can find ace kinksters in my region yet. Who knows, I may get lucky eh? I'm really glad to hear that ace kinksters are pretty common though - the people (vanilla & kinky) I've told simply cannot understand how that works, although it makes so much sense to me :P 

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I often help a friend set up BDSM equipment at a local bar in the area, I normally sit at the door as I have to help take the equipment away at the end of the event, although I've never been approached in a sexual way, I must admit, I do look on, I'm actually seen as a dirty old man, but I was asked if I got aroused, I said no because I don't, I admit to being curious, but it's not really my thing. Fetlife is the place to see if there's any like minded people nearby have a look on the Asexual & Kinky group.

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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  • 2 weeks later...

A belated welcome!  I wouldn't say we're exactly common, but there are more of us asexually kinky sorts than you would think ;) 

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An even more belated welcome…

 

Hello SearchingX,

I share a similar aversion to sexual intercourse and while I am not involved in standard BDSM, I do participate in petplay (fox and raccoon). Welcome to the boards!

Cheers, J

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