Intense friendship or more?

[xbbyx]

Hi so I saw this in another thread 

 

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Partner - Only person so far who I actually find really comforting (friends are comforting to an extent, but the issue lingers after...), who I can talk to about those more serious, personal, or sensitive topics with. Someone I find I miss more than others when they're gone for an extended period of time. Someone I like and care about on a deeper level than most people. Someone who, when I can tell something's bothering/upsetting them, drives me NUTS, because I know they're upset and it makes me upset, more than other friends. Someone I don't mind (and sometimes like) holding hands with, cuddling with, and maybe sharing a kiss with once in a while. Someone who can make me smile quicker and easier than most friends. Someone who causes that... feeling in your heart. I don't really know how to describe it, but anyone who's felt it knows what I'm referring to. It's like a warm burning or something... Someone I feel like I'd want to protect should anything bad happen... Someone I'd be willing to do most things for to see them happy (not sexual things...) Etc. I could keep going but I'll stop here.

And it made me question myself more. Pretty much all of this applies to how I feel about one of my best friends except I don't have any interest in kissing her. However I have wondered what it would feel like to kiss her or any other girl I find beautiful for that matter (I'm a girl). I'm also a really touchy-feely, flirty person and I flirt with both guys and girls for fun. Anyway getting back to my best friend... she's one of my top priorities. I even stopped my shower when she called me to let her vent because she was feeling sad. I get happy when she texts me first and when she does small things like buy coffee for me. I get really protective over her and sometimes I even get jealous if she's not paying enough attention to me. Everything she does is cute to me and I think she's so gorgeous. I've always cared about her more than I cared about my exes and I'd rather lose them than lose her. I can't stand the thought of her being mad at me to the point where even if she's wrong in an argument, I still chase after her if she starts leaving. I'd rather do something like stargaze with her than with a boyfriend, and I like sending cute messages to her from time to time. 

 

Even though I feel a certain way about her and can get all cheesy and stuff, I don't know if I'm romantically attracted to her because I've never dreamed of like celebrating anniversaries, having a wedding, etc. with her. I also find her relationship with her boyfriend cute even though sometimes I can get jealous if she wants to prioritize him over me. Is this just an emotionally deep friendship or what?

[SpACEd Out]

   Hey! So I don't actually have any helpful advice but I had a similar experience a few years ago.

   There was this girl who was my very close friend. I always wanted to hang out with her and was jealous when she told me she had a crush on someone else. I also was ecstatic every time she texted me first, and thought she was pretty (not sure if this was aesthetic or more romantic). Anyway, she was a bit physical and I didn't mind so much (I'm not typically so touchy-feelybor anything). 

    @xbbyx I feel a similar sense of confusion about that relationship to the one you mentioned in your post. Not knowing can sometimes be frustrating, and I wish there were more clear cut answers. Still, I think there is something to be gained from that type of friendship, regardless of how you ultimately choose to define it.

[oldgeeza]

@xbbyx, that's called true friendship, I won't bore you with all the details, but when I moved to this town where I'm now living, I met someone who introduced me to their family, the whole family took me in as one of them, looked after me when I was in trouble, the youngest, she, her best friend and her cousin who idolises her still, they're the little sisters I never had, the two older brothers, they're the brothers I never had, when the parents passed, it ripped me apart, I was closer to them than my own parents, if any of them are down, I'm there for them, if I'm down, they're there for me, I hug them kiss them, I'm godparent to their kids, what's more, I'd be lost without them and it worries me as I'm getting older, I don't want to lose any of them, I still mourn their parents, visit their grave, have a drink for their birthdays, it's the love you have for your true friends, I've been blessed with some of the best friends anyone could ask for, I actually tell my friends I love them, because I do and because if any of us go from this world, it's too late to tell them when they've gone, and truthfully, I'd give my life for any of them.

 

I will say, I've spoken to some truly wonderful people on this site too, if I met them in person, I'd love to give them a big hug too, they're truly wonderful people too

[tatomanifesto]

im kind of the same way with my best friend, and i think that its just a deep friendship. Especially if you're questioning your sexual and romantic orientation, deep friendships can be a little confusing?

[Sunflowerfield]

Sometimes these are called passionate or romantic friendships. Some people also call these deep friendships "soul friends", or queerplatonic partners.