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Sardine arts

Demiromantic/sexual or straight?

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Sardine arts

Hi! This is a really bad time for me to be finding out who I am as it's exam week but oh well,

 

( sorry that it's so long, I like to write )

 

as a teenager going through puberty, life gets abbot confusing. You know? All my friends have been in a relation ship. Or three. And I'm quite content without a relation ship, most of my friends think I'm asexual or just haven't found the right one yet but I know better. 

 

I have a lot of lesbian and bisexual friends and I've been thinking for some time , I might be either. Because I have this female friend who identifies as bisexual and I've had a kinda crush on her for some time now, we FaceTime almost once a week and we constantly write each other lengthy letters and post it to each other via snail mail, so I thought i must be lesbian? But the name never called out for me.

 

theres also this guy a have a crush on, we talk constantly on messenger as well ( I moved away from the Phillipines and into Scotland, my bisexual friend lives in London ) and because of that I thought, hey? Maybe I'm bisexual!

 

but again. The name doesent resonate with me at all. Maybe I'm just confusing myself? Maybe I'm just ace? Ive known the guy for 4 years now, and I've known the girl for 2. 

 

Something ive found my self doing is only realising I've had a crush on someone after I've gotten to know them. I can identify handsome men and beautiful women. I've read my fair share of *cough* inappropriate stuff *cough* so I'm probably not ace and decided to just stick with being a straight ( the girl is just an exception because she's the only one I feel for ) person that takes time to fall in love. 

 

When i I moved to Scotland I had some people I never ever met before ask me out on dates and I turned them down immedietly. Despite them being cute and me kinda liking them, I just always felt it was kinda wrong... you know?

 

then I found the wonder full words  demisexuals and demiromantics among a long list of LGBT+ words and it just kinda popped out to me, i dont know, I felt like it was calling to me. So I did some reaserch and I'm torn between demisexual and demiromantic, I'm not sure if I'm confused but the two words have been on my head for the past week and it won't go away

 

can anyone give me some advise?

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Macallion

Hi, sorry, I'm new myself but since nobody has responded yet, I thought I'd try to help out.

 

I only quite recently discovered the term demisexual and kind of presumed that what I'd felt was the same as what most others felt. It took me a quite astonishingly long time for it to actually register that there was a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. It took a friend to suggest the term and for me to then look it up before it all clicked into place.

 

So my question is: Are you able to at all identify the type of attraction that you feel toward each of these people? Does / has it ever changed upon forming an emotional connection? Or after sexual activity with said person? And how does it change?

 

You can have a libido and have that kind of a relationship and still be on the asexual scale. Likewise, you can have a relationship with somebody and be aromantic. Not wanting to date a specific set of individuals doesn't necessarily define you, either. It can feel wrong with and you can say no to anybody at all and it doesn't have to mean anything.

 

It kind of sounds to me like you might want to consider biromantic as a starting point? But of course, I'm not in your head and I don't want to just start flinging labels at people. It's all about how you feel.

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InquisitivePhilosopher

Hello and welcome! :) :cake:

 

The lack of responses here might be due to the fact that this is the Gender Discussion forum and your post is about demisexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality, which would fit better in another forum like the Gray Area.

 

Since I'm not demisexual, myself, I didn't know how to help answer your question. While I've seen the occasional demisexual or bisexual person on this forum, there seems to be a lot more demisexual people in the Gray Area forum, and not all demisexuals, bisexuals, or even asexuals visit every forum, so there might be several demisexuals who haven't seen your question, yet.

 

I'm surprised a mod didn't move your thread to that forum, as it'd fit better there and might generate more responses from other demisexuals, bisexuals, etc.

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🎄Ryan🎄

Move to grey Area

-Ryan

Moderator

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Sardine arts
5 hours ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Hello and welcome! :) :cake:

 

The lack of responses here might be due to the fact that this is the Gender Discussion forum and your post is about demisexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality, which would fit better in another forum like the Gray Area.

 

Since I'm not demisexual, myself, I didn't know how to help answer your question. While I've seen the occasional demisexual or bisexual person on this forum, there seems to be a lot more demisexual people in the Gray Area forum, and not all demisexuals, bisexuals, or even asexuals visit every forum, so there might be several demisexuals who haven't seen your question, yet.

 

I'm surprised a mod didn't move your thread to that forum, as it'd fit better there and might generate more responses from other demisexuals, bisexuals, etc.

Ah I see thank you 

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Grinchmer

You can be both demisexual and straight at the same time. "Straight" usually means "hetero"; it refers to who you're attracted to, while "demi" specifies the conditions which have to be met for you to feel a certain way. One doesn't rule out the other.

 

Also, asexuality itself isn't a spectrum, but one end point of the sexuality spectrum. Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction (i.e. no desire for partnered sexual activity). Grey and/or demi folks do experience this at some point, hence they're not asexual.

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