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Questioning My Romantic Orientation / What Constitutes As Romantic?


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Hey there! It's very recently (in the past few days) become clear, after months of questioning, that I am Asexual. I've come to this on my own, which I'm really glad about as I've nor succumbed to the "You just need to experience it!" or "You need to meet the right person!". I feel awful for all the people being told these things when they might, like me, know for sure. Hang in there, don't listen to them, no one gets to tell you what to do or feel.

 

I've read about about Romantic Orientation, which is something many asexual people talk about 'in place' of their sexual identity, and I'm wondering if anyone can help me find the right word to describe how I feel. I know it's okay to be without a label and that it might come to me, or maybe I'll never know, but it's not harming anyone to try and understand, right?

 

I think I know that if I were to be in a relationship, I would consider myself Bi. The part I don't get, is what 'romantic' actually means, where the line is drawn between plationic, romantic and sexual. I've come across the term 'Alterous' which is closest to what I feel. I'm understanding that it's kind of a "some things I like are considered romantic, something I like are considered platonic." I love spending time with a person I have a squish on, I'd happily hold their hand and snuggle with them and go on dates to places, but kissing really puts me off. Is that bordering on romantic-sexual or is it just romantic? Is there another word for this feeling or am I right with Alterous?

I'm being so confusing to myself right now that I don't know if anyone will be able to understand what I'm trying to ask :(

Apologies if that is the case!

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Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality co-mod

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Also, there is a term for those who have trouble differentiating between romantic and platonic attraction: quoiromantic.

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