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romantic but not sexual, ahhh makes sense now


iloveyourbrain

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iloveyourbrain

Hi everyone, I'm new. I'm not gonna give away my personal name yet, cause not exactly "out" yet.  I was always identifying as just plain heterosexual, cis female ...until I sort of in a way "fell in love" with my non-binary friend.  It sort of freaked me out because that has never happened. I really thought deeply about what this meant, I asked myself: "would i ever have sex with them?" the answer was no. then I was sooo confused because I still have a massive crush on this person, that's very hard to explain. I then started to realize that I've had tons of friendo crushes before, falling in love with my friends, wanting to spend time and cuddle and be loyal and happy. It's happened maybe three times that I've fallen in love with a friend, two were cis male and now is my current friend, and each time I feel like a train has struck my heart. I want to hear my friend talk everyday and I want to cuddle them all the time. I did research on demi-sexual and asexual, and I think things are clearer for me now. I am okay with not dating my non-binary queer friend, I enjoy their presence and such. I also don't want to send mixed messages. This makes me wonder if I should tell them. Even without exactly knowing the label for myself, I used to tell people I didn't exactly care to think of what I was sexually. Never really bothered to. "I hate penis" and things like that, people just told me I'd grow out of it and all this sort of stuff about how they weren't sexually active until 22 (I'm 23) but I feel re-assured that it's okay, is just me. I want to clarify that I don't feel like I belong on the Queer or the LGBTQ banner. I think maybe queer, but I don't feel like it really matters. I sort of feel like I don't identify with any sexually orientated label, never have. Not even really straight even though I just sort of assumed that title for the most of my life.

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I've been getting comfortable with using the label Queer-romantic Asexual. I resonate with the kind of crushes you describe here.

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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Welcome! I'm glad to hear you feel more comfortable with yourself now. It's always a wonderful feeling to realise that your not alone and that there are others like you out there :) 

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