Asexuality and your line of work

[she_doesn't_use_jelly]

Hello everyone I'm a bit new here, i'm really happy to have discovered this site and all you wonderful people! Well anyways, I just wanted some opinions on this subject matter. So my career is social work..but I'm a bachelors level meaning that most of the jobs available are having to do with helping families and children. It seems like a lot of times in this field you are just supposed to apply common sense and personal knowledge, I'm so afraid of the question "so do you have any kids??" How am i going to be able to relate to these people? I do love children and all but not being a mother or even heterosexual I wonder how well i will be able to relate to this population and how effective I will be as a professional..Its something that has been bothering me for a while now.. What do you guys think? Would you take me seriously as a professional or would you question my competence having zero experience rearing children or even being in a relationship for that matter..

 

I also would like to know how this orientation has affected you at your job and if its been easy or not so easy due to your line of work. 

 

[Yatagarasu]

It affects neither my work nor my uni life. Maybe because I don't have to deal with children and families and I rather avoid having to involve myself emotionally. And I'm pretty much notorious for my "I don't give a duck" kind of behavior. (:3 _ )=

[WinterWanderer]

I think anyone who cares and puts in the effort is suitable for social work.

 

I'm not sure if people would ask you whether you have kids. But that shouldn't disqualify you from doing what you're passionate about. If anything, if you were to have a career AND kids, one of these two would probably suffer as you try to juggle them both. 

 

If it bothers you that you don't have any experience with kids at all, you could try getting involved with children's activities in the community. Libraries and after-school programs often need volunteers. That could give you some insight. Obviously it's not the same as being an actual parent. But I felt like I learned a lot about my community when I volunteered at my library.

 

Personally, I find that being a single woman in my 20s makes it difficult to talk to coworkers in an office setting. Thus far, most of my coworkers have been middle-aged women. I was closer to the ages of their kids, so it was hard for us to relate to each other. I tried small talk sometimes. And sometimes that worked. But usually it just made me feel awkward. I'm an awkward person as it is. Not having something in common with other people just makes it worse.

 

Thankfully, a handful of my coworkers have been my age or had similar interests. So sometimes there was someone to talk to. Unfortunately, those people were not my boss or supervisor. I think my last boss thought I was reclusive, because I was usually alone when she saw me. Buf that's because the people I talked to were in different areas of the office. *sighs*

[she_doesn't_use_jelly]

24 minutes ago, Fioryn said:

I think anyone who cares and puts in the effort is suitable for social work.

 

I'm not sure if people would ask you whether you have kids. But that shouldn't disqualify you from doing what you're passionate about. If anything, if you were to have a career AND kids, one of these two would probably suffer as you try to juggle them both. 

 

If it bothers you that you don't have any experience with kids at all, you could try getting involved with children's activities in the community. Libraries and after-school programs often need volunteers. That could give you some insight. Obviously it's not the same as being an actual parent. But I felt like I learned a lot about my community when I volunteered at my library.

 

Personally, I find that being a single woman in my 20s makes it difficult to talk to coworkers in an office setting. Thus far, most of my coworkers have been middle-aged women. I was closer to the ages of their kids, so it was hard for us to relate to each other. I tried small talk sometimes. And sometimes that worked. But usually it just made me feel awkward. I'm an awkward person as it is. Not having something in common with other people just makes it worse.

 

Thankfully, a handful of my coworkers have been my age or had similar interests. So sometimes there was someone to talk to. Unfortunately, those people were not my boss or supervisor. I think my last boss thought I was reclusive, because I was usually alone when she saw me. Buf that's because the people I talked to were in different areas of the office. *sighs*

Yes i know the awkward feeling oh too well especially when its dominated by women, it seems like all they talk about is their kids or spouse. I have volunteered a lot with local agencies dealing with children, but I've had no luck finding work in those areas. Sometimes i think its because of how I look, people tend to assume I'm immature or naive and it pisses me off. 

[Snao Cone]

I don't get asked about it very often. Maybe that's because of my personality, or because my coworkers are polite, or I'm not the only woman in my office without a husband or natural children. I'm sure I've benefited a lot from that - one of the most senior employees on my team has never been in a committed relationship (that she speaks of, at least).

[Rhaenys]

I work at a computer lab and I do counselling for younger Uni students so I don't get asked stuff sexual wise usually.

[Warsaw]

If you have a pulse, at least six fingers (including both thumbs) and a half functioning brain, and no felonies, we professionally don't care about how you identify, what your personal life looks like, or any number of things.

[Amathy]

@she_doesn't_use_jelly  Have you considered that being asexual and without children is beneficial to be a social worker?  You have a unique ability to see situations without bias.  I have known social workers who have had to give up their careers after having children because they couldn't detach themselves enough emotionally from the situations dealt with at work.  I think a simple answer to the kids question is that you are too busy saving other children to have your own.

[Lucas Monteiro]

2 hours ago, Amathy said:

@she_doesn't_use_jelly  Have you considered that being asexual and without children is beneficial to be a social worker?  You have a unique ability to see situations without bias.  I have known social workers who have had to give up their careers after having children because they couldn't detach themselves enough emotionally from the situations dealt with at work.  I think a simple answer to the kids question is that you are too busy saving other children to have your own.

Exactly, but the thing is, a lot of people would say that we are wrong thinking like that. Because in the sense of other people, not having children equals not liking children or something between like that, but of course this kind of thinking take you nowhere. Is like you said, an different and not bias situation would be much more better than the simple solution found by people who could at the end look more towards one way because of personal situations. Personally, I would take OP seriously because being quick to judge someone without knowing them it's really something bad and not what people should do. Moreover in majority I don't like to look to the common sense, because there is no sense in the common sense, it's just in the majority of times, bullshit thoughts.

[Apkallu]

In my job I regularly deal with people's sexual health and give advice on safe sex, dealing with sexual dysfunction, STIs, etc. etc. despite not being the least bit interested in it myself. You'll be fine (and noone needs know if you don't want, anyway).

[she_doesn't_use_jelly]

9 hours ago, Lucas Monteiro said:

Exactly, but the thing is, a lot of people would say that we are wrong thinking like that. Because in the sense of other people, not having children equals not liking children or something between like that, but of course this kind of thinking take you nowhere. Is like you said, an different and not bias situation would be much more better than the simple solution found by people who could at the end look more towards one way because of personal situations. Personally, I would take OP seriously because being quick to judge someone without knowing them it's really something bad and not what people should do. Moreover in majority I don't like to look to the common sense, because there is no sense in the common sense, it's just in the majority of times, bullshit thoughts.

I see from both of your guy's perspective, however one thing I worry about is not so much the opinions of my clients but the work environment. It's full of hostility and negative people, if your that one fortunate (or unfortunate) individual that can make your career your life it tends to bring out interesting reactions in other people. Either they will give you no excuse for falling behind on cases because well.."you don't have a life outside of here" or they'll be jealous or pity you and the list goes on..its a bit of a double edged sword. But case workers in general are a miserable bunch..i don't know if I'd be able to withstand all the pressure honestly..but thanks for the advice. 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I used to be a nurse and mostly looked after adults. Luckily I have had a daughter so I didn't get asked very much. I find the work isn't the problem, it's nosy/judgemental co-workers making problems when they get bored and decide to stir things!

[Gloomy]

I work alone in a cubicle all day, however a couple of years ago I did work in an elementary school cafeteria. I actually liked it depsite not wanting kids myself. Also luckily I wasn’t pestered by coworkers about whether I want children either. I was asked once or twice if I had a boyfriend, but when I told them no they said I was smart lol.

[she_doesn't_use_jelly]

19 hours ago, Gloomy said:

I work alone in a cubicle all day, however a couple of years ago I did work in an elementary school cafeteria. I actually liked it depsite not wanting kids myself. Also luckily I wasn’t pestered by coworkers about whether I want children either. I was asked once or twice if I had a boyfriend, but when I told them no they said I was smart lol.

Ive gotten responses like that too before lol 

[FinneganCatch]

I work with a lot of older people (particularly males) in an environment that can be kind of laden with sexual joking, given the opinions I've heard expressed at work I would never tell them I identify as asexual. For starters I doubt many or any would know what I meant. I'm in the military so it just kind of comes part and parcel with the service. Just let it roll off me like water off a duck most days but sometimes it gets tiring having to deal with it.