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Kazka

Several months ago, I  heard an idea that really resonated with me, which is basically "you are you, these words are how you describe yourself to others" meaning that you don't need a magical word that 100% fits to you or it doesn't apply, same with gender.

 

Almost everyone falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum on sexuality and gender, and most people think something like "oh, I'm straight; and because I identify as straight I will never consider a relationship with someone of the same sex" even if it would be the best relationship they could ever have, people feel the need to pick one end and conform to it, they might not be comfortable officially coming out as bi and therefor won't even consider trying if the opportunity arises. Men typically feel like if they don't have enough masculine traits, or don't wholly conform to 100% masculinity they are somehow less of a man, like how flamboyant men are often treated really poorly even if they consider themselves straight.

 

I see this a lot in Ace's, we feel the need to question our chosen identity asking, "am I Ace? What about that one time, I got a boner when I saw (insert female actor here)" and they come here looking for re-affirmation. As well as, an ace might avoid potential relationships and even sex because they think if they do pursue something, they won't be asexual, and we as humans aren't fans of feeling lost, we want to have similar people, with similar experiences. Most of us know what it's like to be confused and don't want to feel it again often ruling out potential partners and experiences. 

 

I think the solution isn't more words coined to try to make us feel similar, rather, a change of mindset, you use words to describe yourself to others, you don't use them to define yourself.

 

:D:cake:

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Baam

I've always felt like trying to find the perfect fit of words to describe yourself is kind of pointless. The point of labels are to describe. If your chosen labels take more explanation than just describing how you actually feel, there's really no point to even having them. You may as well just say you're gay, for example, and add a 'but' on there describing that your attraction fades over time.

 

Then again, the obscure labels we chuck around here are useful within the community. I just feel as though they have little use when talking to people unfamiliar with the community.

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Deus Ex Infinity
On 28.11.2017 at 10:41 AM, Baam said:

I've always felt like trying to find the perfect fit of words to describe yourself is kind of pointless. The point of labels are to describe. If your chosen labels take more explanation than just describing how you actually feel, there's really no point to even having them. You may as well just say you're gay, for example, and add a 'but' on there describing that your attraction fades over time.

 

Then again, the obscure labels we chuck around here are useful within the community. I just feel as though they have little use when talking to people unfamiliar with the community.

I was going to say sort of the same thing actually.

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