• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
oldgeeza

Bringing Back A Wife From Another Country

Recommended Posts

oldgeeza

I ran into someone I haven't seen for many years, admittedly due to their choice if lifestyle, so it's been at least 25 years or more, anyway, it turns out that they've settled down, living the life of a more civilised human being, married with kids etc, so we got chatting, I met his lovely wife, she's a very attractive Ukrainian lady who looks much younger than she is, that said, she is over 20 years his junior, he met her on one of the many Russian/Ukrainian dating sites, he was telling me all about how he went on a tour of Ukraine, it sounded like a cattle market the way they met.

 

Me being me, I looked on a few dating sites, it seems that it is as he described, all these tours are like cattle markets, it must be quite humiliating for the women involved, his lady is a very beautiful lady, I don't know whether they see it as normal to meet their husband like this, but to be honest, it looked quite sickly, older men chatting to these mostly twenty something ladies, the guy I ran into is a good few years older than me, his wife is thirty, (she looks about twenty), I thought he was with his daughter when I saw him, apart from blathering on about his sex life as if she wasn't there, it seems that many of the guys that choose to have foreign ladies as wives, they seem to treat them like dirt, the ladies in return, in general, always seem to be loyal to the husbands, I don't think he approved when his wife spoke a few words to me, the big green monster seemed to have appeared and they then left.

 

One of my work colleagues has just returned with a wife from the Phillipines, he met her in a similar way, via a tour, meeting a lot of ladies in a club, you get those who have the chance of finding a partner, those left behind, it must be very disheartening for them, but it all seems quite desperate from both sides, I respect that Internet dating seems to be the way for many to meet, I don't know, it's not the Internet dating that I find an issue, it's the cattle market image that I find very upsetting, it's as if the women are worthless, just there for the dirty old man to drool over, I find it degrading, and I'm seen as a dirty old man now myself, I wonder what the ladies feel about it, whether they are pressured into getting married, I recall my father saying to me way back when I was still in school, "if you're not married or have kids by the time you're in your mid twenties, you must be gay" I'm just wondering whether others have similar views or homophobic tendencies in other countries or whether it's just peer pressure from society in general 

 

I know this isn't necessarily related to asexual people, but it is sort of directed towards older people, I'm just interested to hear their thoughts, if there are any ladies who found their partners in this way, I'd love to hear their thoughts too

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ChillaKilla

I've always found the concept of a "mail order bride" creepy as well, even though I'm in no way "older". You get men desperate for company and women desperate for a way out of a repressive/impoverished country, and often times it's little more than a mutually beneficial arrangement. Not to say that love doesn't come from these, because I'm sure plenty of people do truly love their partners whom they met in this sort of scenario.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oldgeeza

@ChillaKilla, the Ukrainian lady actually seemed to have lived quite a life in her home, she's a highly qualified lady in her profession, earning good money and living in quite a nice part of Ukraine, unfortunately she's come over here, she'll end up with a horrible job, treated like dirt by her employer and she'll carry on regardless like so many do over here in the UK, where I work, the warehouse is full of Eastern Europeans, the management treat them like dirt, making racist comments, talking down to them, it's a shame. As for whether she does love him, I don't know, whether he loves her or whether she's just a trophy bride, only time will tell 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sleighcaptain

Whilst, undoubtedly, there are success stories, I see this industry with a very jaundiced eye. There's either the "any excuse to get a western passport type", or golddiggers who just want marry, divorce, alimony. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oldgeeza

The agencies make a good packet from it all too, I'm looking at visiting the Carpathian Mountains, trip costing £300 return flights and stay for 10 days, a 10 day "tour" cost him £3250, for a tour of 4 cities, 4 hotels, 1 meal and a trip to the "cattle markets"

 

I must admit, whether they were mail order brides or not I don't know, but I have a couple of friends married to ladies from outside the UK and they've passed the 7 year glitch which is how long the average marriage is meant to last over here, but like you @Skycaptain, I'm very sceptical of the whole idea 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chandrakirti

I find the whole idea odious!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Astryda

How does it work actually?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now