tired

[SmallRavenclaw]

I think I just need to vent for a bit, and I hope it's okay with all you lovely people and that it's able to make sense once I'm finished with it <3

 

It's been a considerable amount of time since I was last in any sort of romantic relationship, and to be quite honest with myself, I really miss the feeling of being in love. I've never been in any relationship where I haven't felt any sort of pressure to do more than I desire (the only sort of touching and things that I feel comfortable with are hugs and cuddles and that sort of gentle soft stuff (I believe someone on here told me in an earlier post of mine that that's called "sensual touching"? correct me if I'm wrong)) and I just don't know of anyone that'd be down for that. 

 

I just don't understand how anyone could possibly love me. I'm still rather young (high school) and it seems like all guys around my age care about is sexual stuff. I don't think I'm very attractive, especially not by the general high school/college male standard, and my sexual repulsion doesn't seem to be helping me find someone. But I feel like I have so much love to give and no one to give it to.

 

I was talking to one of my best friends about all of this recently, and he was very encouraging about it. He said that he thinks there's someone out there for me that could love and respect me for who I am despite my boundaries and such (he knows I'm rather sex-repulsed, not that many people in my life do) and that it would probably just take some time. But as selfish as it is, I get tired of waiting. There's so many happy friends and people around me that are in loving relationships, and I can't help but feel left out.

 

So if there's anyone out there that's reading this, what sort of advice do you have? Any success stories or tips? Anything helps really I suppose. (If there's anything that doesn't make sense or needs clarification, let me know)

[Kai99]

For vast majority of people, part of the fun of relationships is sharing sexuality. If your have no desire or repulse by such things than many of the relationships you envy arent as appealing behind closed doors. Sure it feels good to have a partner who is there for you, but you will also have to deal with pressures toward sexual activity. While I like the idea of relationships, I have no desire to be in one where my partner isnt asexual because I dont want to deal with having to help with someone else's libido. Sex and relationships tend to go hand and hand with most people so why would I want to be a part of that? I dont. Unless it is with an asexual.

 

And believe me, even those happy go lucky couples arent what they appear. There tends to be plenty of drama backstage. Relationships are hard work for everyone.

 

I do think that there are people out there for everyone. Your in high school right? Dont rush it. Alot of people have their first relationships in college or first job. While being asexual does complicate things, just go by it by being honest about what you do and dont want in a relationship.