LittlePinkHouse Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 I'm an nineteen year old female. For a couple months, now, I've been wondering if I'm asexual. I've had crushes before but I've never done anything about them because I'm scared. With those crushes I've never thought of the other person in a sexual manner. I do masterbate but I don't think of anyone when I do. I don't know how to tell if I am asexual or not but I would like to know. I would appreciate any help anyone can give me! Thanks in advance! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 You sound asexual to me. You may have a different romantic orientation though. Do you experience sexual attraction? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Yes, it sounds like you are likely asexual if you don't desire sex with anyone. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Space-Ace-Android Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 If you do not desire sex with anyone else then you are most likely asexual. Welcome to the forum and have some cake! CAKE 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OperationalWolf Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Hi LittlePinkHouse. I myself am Asexual because I don't really get Sexual feelings towards anyone. So yeah, basically you are Asexual. And it's nice to meet you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Not automatically. Most females have responsive sexual desire; i.e. need sexual arousal or foreplay in order to trigger their desire for sex every time. Even then, the urge may not be explicitly "go for sex" but just "go further". So until you at least make out with a crush, the verdict is inconclusive. Negative self-perspective can also hinder the emergence of sexual desire. Females also commonly need a bond in order to desire sex (different from demisexuality) so if you don't have a bond with a crush you're making out with then sexual desire may not emerge. Good foreplay can also be a requirement (which alot of guys aren't too good at because they don't require it; male and female sexuality are two different things. I can link you vids on these studies if you want. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Responsive desire refers to sexual desire/libido, not sexual attraction to other people. Because this topic has caused confusion in the past, I recently contacted Emily Nagoski (the leading popular author on responsive desire) regarding this point, and she confirmed that sexual attraction is distinct from spontaneous/responsive desire, and isn't a topic that she has researched. She also emphasized that one's internal assessment of one's sexual feelings is most important for determining one's sexuality. In addition, the comment above amounts to saying that one has to do sexual things to know if one is asexual, but there are plenty of asexuals who have never been sexually active. To address the OP's question, from your description it sounds like you experience romantic attraction (have crushes), but that you don't have sexual feelings for other people, which suggests that you might be romantic asexual. Of course, at the end of the day only you can decide what label fits. I hope this information is useful. And I wish you the best of luck! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePinkHouse Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 Everyone's responses have been super helpful! It's good to get a perspective on this from someone who knows a little more about a sexuality than I do. Thank you for taking the time to help me. It makes me feel good to know that there's a community of people who I can relate to and are willing to help. Thank you guys again, much appreciated! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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