I'm really confused about my romantic orientation

[Shan1127]

So I've known I'm ace for a long time even before I knew what to label it. I'm 15 but unlike most people my age I know exactly who I am, what I want and where I want to go in life - except when it comes to romantic orientation. 

I've never had a crush (or even a squish) and some days I just feel completely aro. 

But I want a relationship, not because it's the social norm because trust me I'm anything but normal.  I want a relationship so I can cuddle with someone and force them to watch the shows I like and eat food with them maybe some forehead and cheek kisses cause they're nice.  Something closer than friendship but not as close as a sexual relationship. I never picture myself with any specific gender which had me thinking maybe I'm panromantic but really it's all so confusing. Also where am I supposed to meet someone to even test this out? I'm 15, live in a tiny country, not to mention I'm legally blind and not as independent as I'd like to be. How do you even know? I just feel like...nothing...idk it's almost like I have no romantic orientation but yet I want that kind of relationship which confuses me. When I see people holding hands and just being cute and couply a lot of the time I'm thinking I want that and on my hopelessly aro days I'm just thinking stoopppp no one needs to see this ick fest and I definitely don't want it. 

 

So what does that mean? Oh also I'd like to add that even on those days I still long for some sort of relationship just less romantic-ish

[yeehaw123]

I suggest that you look at:

 

A list of romantic orientations

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/

 

A list of A/Sexuality & sexual orientations

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/

 

[alicio]

You could want a QPR (Queer Platonic Relationship). It sounds very similar to what you described.

[Shan1127]

Yeah I was thinking about that for awhile.  Cuddles and food are my main goals for a relationship 😂 I've just never been sure I guess because first I'd need to try things.   

[alicio]

It's always worth trying something before you decide, but never feel pressured to! You do you, and know that there are more people like you than there may seem to be : )

[Shan1127]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it.  Thanks to both of you that commented by the way   I didn't think many pepole would take the time to 

[alicio]

no problem. This is my first time interacting with another asexual funny enough.

Glad I could help!