Social Anxiety

[BlueRooster]

It seems to be whenever somebody tells me that I'm good looking. Due to experiences in the past, when somebody says that to me, I have this horrible gut feeling that they are going to ask me out. I feel horrible about turning people down, and I can't explain that I am asexual and aromantic since many people won't understand. Instead, I simply say that I am not interested in relationships. But I also become fearful that people will label me as "weird".

 

I would just like to ask, has anybody else experienced something similar? I feel alone with this.

[Verb]

Had it happen once where someone confessed to liking me. At that time I wasn't aware of Asexuality and I didn't know how to explain myself.

 

I settled for telling them they deserve someone better than me, and that they should wait until they found them. Still, it didn't end well for anyone, but that's another story  

[yeehaw123]

I have social anxiety and worry people will think I am "weird" all the time.

Somehow I let my anxiety lead me to a relationship and I am very happy. It's weird how brains work.

[Guest]

I've been in the same situation. I got asked out a lot in elementary and middle school and when it happened I never thought I had any other option than to say yes. I never did anything that had to do with relationships, in fact I only had my first kiss cause some older kids were pressuring us to. Every person I've dated has ended up breaking up with me because I treat them as a good friend rather than a boyfriend. I started saying no in middle school and here I am now  .

But I still get this fear when I get close to someone and my friends say they like me in that way, not wanting to reck the friendship with a yes or a no.

 

Sorry I kind of went on a tangent there. I think that just saying that you don't want to be in a relationship is enough. As far as my experience goes no one will call you "weird" but I grew up in a small town so my experience with it may not be the best .

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Could you get round it by saying you'll be happy to go as friends?

[Janus the Fox]

Yes, from strangers or from the already weird sections of online social communication channels and being associated with a few social fringe groups naturally being interested in niche interests.  I'm already weird being outside such groups and/or general life as a mentally unwell Tourettes-Asperger.

 

Not because of sexuality, it take such advances as seriously creepy and I'd shut that down as inappropriate social conduct, I only say it once and that's it.  If that's the very first thing that such person wants, it kind of wrecks any hope that such potential friends has already been damaged.

 

The exception is or was within written or animated virtual reality fetish role-play communities/places, within the like of second life, through this there have been more meaningful relationships, but only ever contained in such spaces.  Some can pay a decent bit of virtural currency just to have time with me or rarely an outside friendship longer distance friendship could be found. 

 

Most of the time, it's pretty clear what some using these spaces exactly want, but others are also socially anxious outside of such space or to use either such a space as a way to express their own sociality without anxiety, if such a space does not interfere with their own social confidence/ability to meet new virtual, potentially real people.  These are often any sexuality/gender, some asexuals too, quite amazed how different some of these people can look in real life, if ever they where able to express it in real life, provided that such do wish to share what thy look like for real.

[Amathy]

I have embraced my weirdness!  I am now so weird that no one ever complements me or asks me out