felt Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Why can't this place have a section for dating? The oft repeated reasons aren't really good enough, a small section for dating would hardly infringe on the rest of the site and offend aromantics any more than the section for "getting low down and goofy" offends people who like lame number games. And if you're worried about minors accessing it, don't let anyone under 18 or 16 into it then. It's going to be hard enough finding someone without the self styled main asexuality resource online debarring anyone from getting romantic. And lots of us can't be bothered devoting hours and hours of posting so that someone might become attracted to us via a persona we've built up in forum discussions. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Legal reasons. Whether or not they're good enough to you doesn't really mean anything, as it's not your website. You are not barred from "getting romantic". I found my fiancee here on AVEN, after all, and I'm not the only one. You just aren't really permitted to present yourself openly as you would on a typical dating site, as this isn't a dating site. Doesn't mean you can't find relationships. Quote And lots of us can't be bothered devoting hours and hours of posting so that someone might become attracted to us via a persona we've built up in forum discussions. That doesn't sound very romantic of you, to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Please no. Link to post Share on other sites
caetxln Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Many reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 1 hour ago, acesexual7 said: And if you're worried about minors accessing it, don't let anyone under 18 or 16 into it then. Problem is, this doesn't really work. Anyone can fudge their birth date or tick "yes, I'm 18" and get in. AVEN's main purpose is to discuss and ask questions, with as much anonymity as the user wants/needs. Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 15 minutes ago, OptimisticPessimist said: It's because of legal reasons and US law. We have users who are 13 and we have to apply with regulations. As stated Relationships can happen naturally here. Maybe it would help if someone explained the said legal reasons a bit more. This would help users of other countries just as myself who may not be familiar with US law. For example, I get why we cant be having minors on a dating website but from the OP post above it appears they are asking why not have a separate section of the website which is for said purpose and as such only allow those over 18 to access the said section. I personally cant see why this would be against law as you would be ensuring minors do not have access to the separate section (maybe by a separate sign in or something) but again I am not familiar with US law. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Aven is a site for education and sharing experiences it is not a dating site. We have minors here. And if u can't be devoted then laziness won't get you love. Link to post Share on other sites
Mostly Peaceful Ryan Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 1 hour ago, banana monkey said: Maybe it would help if someone explained the said legal reasons a bit more. This would help users of other countries just as myself who may not be familiar with US law. For example, I get why we cant be having minors on a dating website but from the OP post above it appears they are asking why not have a separate section of the website which is for said purpose and as such only allow those over 18 to access the said section. I personally cant see why this would be against law as you would be ensuring minors do not have access to the separate section (maybe by a separate sign in or something) but again I am not familiar with US law. As an educational site we can have members as young as 13, if we were a dating site we would have to be over 18 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 This has been explained over and over and over, recently even. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Just because there isn't a dating section, that doesn't stop peopIe faIIing in Iuuuuurve on AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 22 hours ago, ♣Ryan♣ said: As an educational site we can have members as young as 13, if we were a dating site we would have to be over 18 years old. so you are saying that in U.S law a site cannot have 2 purposes ie one section of the site educational (and thus for members over 13) and one section for dating (for over 18) (separated by 2 separate permission filters if necessary) as the OP seems to have proposed? Are you saying The U.S law states a site has to be one or the other. I realise it may be the BOD's choice that it is an educational site only and there is probably many other reasons for that choice. If this is the case, maybe some of the reasons could be explained here (by linking to other threads where it is already explained if necessary) By, the way, I totally agree that people can find partners here on AVEN naturally and in most cases it is better to start a relationship by chatting etc but I am just trying to understand the answer to the OP's question of why we cant have the 2 different (types of) sections on the site. edit - I've just thought of something. Most of the forums (apart from Meetup mart and a couple of others) are viewable without membership anyway. Couldnt you have a seperate forum for over 18 dating that only over 18's are allowed to view (given that you have to give D.O.B when you sign up anyway). I mean there are forums only members are allowed to access so why not have forums only members over 18 are allowed to access. Sorry I am being a bit of a devils advocate here. Just trying to understand the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Mostly Peaceful Ryan Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 4 minutes ago, banana monkey said: so you are saying that in U.S law a site cannot have 2 purposes ie one section of the site educational (and thus for members over 13) and one section for dating (for over 18) (separated by 2 separate permission filters if necessary) as the OP seems to have proposed? Are you saying The U.S law states a site has to be one or the other. No but from my understanding legally you can't be on a site without parental permission before 13 years old, and If it is a dating site you have to be 18 or older. Since we are under education site we can let 13 - 18 year olds on, if that changed to allow dating we would have to be 18+ only. Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 4 minutes ago, ♣Ryan♣ said: No but from my understanding legally you can't be on a site without parental permission before 13 years old, and If it is a dating site you have to be 18 or older. Since we are under education site we can let 13 - 18 year olds on, if that changed to allow dating we would have to be 18+ only. yeah I understood that, I'm just trying to understand why you cant have a specific forum for over 18's to view and then allow anyone under 18 to view all the forums except that one. Is that against U.S law? Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Why should AVEN need a dating section? That's not what AVEN is. And the fact that the several asexual dating sites aren't very busy may mean that it's not a big need. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Quote yeah I understood that, I'm just trying to understand why you cant have a specific forum for over 18's to view and then allow anyone under 18 to view all the forums except that one. Is that against U.S law? Pretty sure it is, yes. The entire site would have to be rebranded if it had an 18+ section. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 5 hours ago, banana monkey said: yeah I understood that, I'm just trying to understand why you cant have a specific forum for over 18's to view and then allow anyone under 18 to view all the forums except that one. Is that against U.S law? And how could you keep the under-18s out of that section? Answer: you couldn't, unless you had an Admod specifically watching out for those under-18s. And some would get in, so AVEN would be breaking a law. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 8 hours ago, banana monkey said: yeah I understood that, I'm just trying to understand why you cant have a specific forum for over 18's to view and then allow anyone under 18 to view all the forums except that one. Is that against U.S law? 7 hours ago, Sally said: Why should AVEN need a dating section? That's not what AVEN is. And the fact that the several asexual dating sites aren't very busy may mean that it's not a big need. Well, lots of asexuals are looking for asexual romance, but people avoid those sites because they're trolled by so many sexual predators. You don't have to be there long to get bombarded by regular heterosexual men looking for hookups, so people just avoid them. A lot of asexuals really are very lonely, or feel like if they want to date they have to try to face the idea of sexual compromise which many don't want to do. I actually do agree that it would be great if AVEN could legally have an 18+ dating section catered specifically to asexuals looking for romance, and I think it would be really busy. AVEN is moderated much better and more responsibly than any of the ace dating sites I've ever been on, so people would feel much safer trying to date here than elsewhere online, plus AVEN is the busiest asexual forum so there would just naturally be a lot more activity. Sadly it's not possible due to the US law (because if any part of a site is catered to dating the whole site has to be 18+, I'm assuming because legal age of consent in the US is 18 and in the eyes of most people dating = sex) but do actually personally think that if it was possible, it would be great if AVEN could have a dedicated dating subforum. @banana monkey and @acesexual7 People do actually still meet and fall in love on AVEN regularly! We even have a couple who met here and got married years ago, and quite a few who now live together or are in long term distance relationships. Falling on love isn't forbidden on AVEN, it's just advertising for romance etc like on a dating site that is against the rules due to US legal regulations for a site with 13 year olds on it. But if you get involved in the community and start joining in discussions and building friendships etc, love could strike totally unexpectedly! Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Anyone could start a dating site for asexuals, that wouldn't be hampered by the 18+ law. However, there would be no guarantee that it wouldn't be swamped by people who weren't asexual and thought that asexuals would be naive enough to respond to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 8 minutes ago, Sally said: Anyone could start a dating site for asexuals, that wouldn't be hampered by the 18+ law. However, there would be no guarantee that it wouldn't be swamped by people who weren't asexual and thought that asexuals would be naive enough to respond to them. Yeah that's the reason the asexual dating sites are so dead, because of them being flooded with predators and the lack of adequate moderation like on AVEN. I personally don't think any ace dating site on its own could ever be as popular or successful as a dating subforum on AVEN would be because people feel much safer here than elsewhere online. But yeah legally AVEN can't have a dating subforum so you just have to do it the old fashioned way here: making friends and maybe possibly falling into mutual love by accident Link to post Share on other sites
Perilous Poozer Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Perhaps I’m being selfish, but I would not join such a site if it included dating, it would be massively off putting. Part of why I’m here is figuring out why I have strenuously avoided romantic entanglements. I would feel distrustful of freely discussing attraction in an environment where others were looking for hookups. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 21 hours ago, FictoVore. said: I personally don't think any ace dating site on its own could ever be as popular or successful as a dating subforum on AVEN would be because people feel much safer here than elsewhere online. They wouldn't feel safe any longer if we had a dating section -- because it would attract predators just like all dating sites do. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 There are several ace dating sites, which we have links to. And AVEN allows friendships and many of us met our partners here through forming friendships. Myself included. But the legal reasons are it would have to be a separate site with 18+ rules and thus put strains on the resources of volunteers . Plus it would require heavy monitoring to make sure laws are being followed as far as underage users, pornography , harassment and such. And dating sites have different privacy regulations since they have personal info more so than we do. AVEN does not have the time, money or resources to devote nor the interest in becoming one. OkCupid has an asexual option, the there is acebook and asexualitic. Such a small community doesn't really need a ton of dating sites, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Thanks @Serran for such a comprehensive and coherent reply. I didnt realise the law states it has to be a seperate site. Would be very interested to know how much policing/monitoring is needing to be done in regards to those under 13. If as @Sally points out it is difficult to keep over 18 out thus breaking a law wouldnt a law also be broken if an under 13 was allowed in?? Link to post Share on other sites
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