mirkwood4 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Hi My pronouns are she/her. I'm a singer who is super interested in writing, ever since I can remember. I've most recently thought of myself as grey-pansexual, sexual attraction follows emotional attraction, gender doesn't matter, etc. I always valued my work above relationships, although I've had crushes with emotional attraction and what I think is aesthetic attraction (I definitely notice someone who's pretty but I'm just like "oh, that's nice", don't feel anything). The fact gender doesn't matter to me lead to a lot of questioning when I realized I wanted to have a romantic date with a same-sex buddy. I'm a pretty doubtful person, so questioning becomes like food for depression, is not fun xD I'm definitely stressed this time around because I'm not sure whether to continue my current relationship or not. She seems to want to be physical and I have the feeling I can't give her that. We've been friends for a year now, I had a crush on her for a while--she always showed interest in me even though she was dating someone else back then. Recently she asked me out, we've been on a couple of dates. She kissed me yesterday. I was completely revolted. I let her keep kissing and even make out with me, I was trying to find anything remotely sexy about it. Nope nope nope. I wiped my mouth with hand-sanitizer as soon as I got out of there. I can't tell if the disgust will go away with time or not, or if the disgust was just a clue I don't actually like her. I can't imagine being physical with anyone. Any sexual attraction I've had in my life I've never wanted to act on...it's like sex can be sexy if I'm not in the picture, lol. Anyway, if I'm asexual, I really don't want to waste time trying to enjoy a physical relationship, I'd just rather write or something. If you have any thoughts or advice, please share. Thank you, -mirkwood4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to sex, kissing and making out. Some are repulsed by it, others are adverse, neutral, or positive. It really just means you need to find your boundaries and tell your friend what you are and are not comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
mirkwood4 Posted November 24, 2017 Author Share Posted November 24, 2017 @Lichley thank you for reply. Link to post Share on other sites
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