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What are your parents' sexualities?


Zebrafinch

What is your mother's orientation?  

135 members have voted

  1. 1. What is your mother's orientation?

    • Asexual aromantic
      1
    • Bi/Pansexual
      6
    • Heterosexual
      118
    • Homosexual
      1
    • Homoromantic asexual
      0
    • Heteroromantic asexual
      7
    • Bi/Panromantic asexual
      0
    • Other
      2
  2. 2. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being very asexual and 5 being hypersexual, how sexual is she?

    • 1
      11
    • 2
      32
    • 3
      66
    • 4
      14
    • 5
      7
  3. 3. What is your father's orientation?

    • Asexual aromantic
      1
    • Bi/Pansexual
      3
    • Heterosexual
      116
    • Homosexual
      1
    • Bi/Panromantic
      0
    • Heteromantic
      8
    • Homoromanitc
      0
    • Other
      1
  4. 4. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being very asexual and 5 being hypersexual, how sexual is he?

    • 1
      10
    • 2
      22
    • 3
      70
    • 4
      17
    • 5
      11
  5. 5. Do you have siblings?

    • Yes
      110
    • No
      20
  6. 6. Are any of them asexual?

    • Yes
      5
    • No
      99
    • Possibly
      26

This poll is closed to new votes


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I've been wondering how heritable asexuality is, so I thought I'd ask. Educated guesses/speculation is encouraged.

Ace-spec responses only, please. 

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I don't think it's heritable in any way or correlated with one's genotype, but an individual's upbringing might be one of the factors.

Just from a scientist-to-be point of view. ^^

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They are both straight, to my knowledge. They don't seem very sexual, but I don't know how sexual they are, because I've never talked about it with them before.

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J. van Deijck

seems that both are straight, although my mother appears asexual to me.

funny how they have a homoromantic ace son and biromantic ace daughter :lol:

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I think it would be wrong to make assumptions about the orientations of family because I know that I hate it when people incorrectly do that about me.

however, my father is dead and I have reason to believe that my mother might be ace from things she has told me (that she has no interest in sex and didn't when my father was alive too)

My brother  came out as gay and I have no knowledge about the orientation of my sister.

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I forgot the term, but it refers to (maybe not genetically) the way family traits get passed down. I'll see if i can look it up, it's in my crit notes somewhere. 

 

It's interesting, I had an uncle who was a life long bachelor, and my father's hypothesis  was always that he was gay and closeted (although my dad thinks a lot of people who aren't outwardly hetero are) , but I think it would make just as much sense that he was asexual. 

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From the way they were talking to me when I was discussing asexuality with them. My mum is very clearly asexual or demisexual (at best). And Herero-romantic. 

 

My dad is so obviously Asexual Aromantic. 

 

My brother is clearly Asexual Hetero-romantic. 

 

Im Grey-Heter-romantic asexual. 

 

I was raised by my 2 very loving and supportive grandparents. Any relationship I have, I aspire it to be like there’s. The way my grandmother held my grandfather after he woke up from major surgery crying because he thought he’d never see her again. Seriously, if my grandfathers dementia causes him to forget her or one of them dies first - the separation would devastate me. They’ve been together since they were teens and have only ever loved each other. He outright stated to me that he worships the ground his family walks on because of the blessings we’ve brought him. 

 

So yeah, I was raised by them. My cousin who is homosexual, was also raised by them. Which blows the nuture argument out of the water a bit :P 

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Also, Asexual isn’t the opposite of Hypersexual. One relates to libido, the other orientation. You can be asexual and still have a high libido. 

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Lord Jade Cross

Well Im the oddball in the family so needless to say neither my parents or brother are ace(although he has no partner so who knows). I dont think anyone in my family is (or if they are they are pretending extremely good by having partners and kids and such)

 

 

 

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Hmm. This is a difficult question, as some people may not have had discussions with their parents about their parents' sexual lives. It's also difficult to judge their sexuality based on their behavior: perhaps they aren't asexual, but have just chosen to be celibate for decades, after having children; or their mental or medical health issues have reduced their sexual desire.

 

But, if you're interested in hearing our best guesses, anyway, my family does seem to be asexual.

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WinterWanderer

I can't answer the poll, because I'm not sure. I have no idea how my parents would identify if they knew that "asexual" and "aromantic" were a thing. If I tried to introduce the words to them, they'd assume it was some sort of fad. Or they'd assume it's sinful or something, based on how the terms sound like other LGBT+ terms.

 

I'd say that my dad is either gray or ace, based on conversations he's had with me before. I think my mom is heterosexual. But who knows?

 

I have two sisters. They both identify as hetero, but I think they may be on the gray side. I don't think they've looked into the ace spectrum very much. Not sure if they would identify differently if they knew more about the terminology.

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I have no idea. My mom is likely asexual but doesn't care enough to label herself as such. I have no idea about my father - I don't know him. I think it'd be weird if I knew if their sexualities? Like... I've never ever discussed anything remotely sexual with any relative. The idea freaks me out. My mom knows about asexuality and various LGBTQ+ labels but we've never discussed actual sex because she's my mom.

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My dad is heterosexual, and my mom is homosexual(she left my dad for a woman when I was 7 when she realized she was homosexual if you're wondering how I exist). My sister is bisexual, so my dad is actually the only one in my immediate family who is heterosexual.

 

I don't know how sexual they are though. I don't even want to know...

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   I do wonder if there is some sort of possible hereditary predispotion for asexuality. Such a theory doesn't seem to contradict any biological concepts that I'm aware of. For those who completed the poll: how many of you have actually had explicit conversations with your parents about this? I would guess (correct me if I'm wrong) that most of us guessed to some extent when filling out the poll. Just wanted to point that out...

   Have there been any scientific studies on this? If there are, I'd be interested in seeing that.

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My Mother is bisexual (and relatively sexual whilst being quite open about it) and my Father was heterosexual (and pretty sexual, as he cheated on my Mother with at least two women).

I have one sibling, they are pannsexual and genderfluid.

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My parents are both heterosexual as far as I know, but I've wondered in the past if maybe my mom might be on the asexual spectrum.

 

Some of the things she said and did around me when I was growing up made it harder for me to realize I was ace. For example, my dad would hug her or kiss her in front of me or in public and she'd just kind of stand there and smile but not really reciprocate. I can't ever remember seeing her initiate physical contact with him--it's always been him coming up to her. Another example--when she was trying to warn me not to have sex in high school (abstinence-only sex ed), she started rambling a bit about married sex. During said ramble, she basically said that newleywed men were like kids in a candy store when it came to sex and their wives would just have to endure the honeymoon period until his eagerness died down a little and then it would be okay... Idk, it was a very weird moment and I was grossed out, but I got the impression she either didn't really like sex & thought it was just something you should put up with to make your husband happy, or she was really embarrassed to admit she was a sexual person. 

 

Anyway, long story short, I looked at her opinions and behaviors and assumed all women must be like that (no sexual desires) and that men were the only ones with sexual desires. Who knows... maybe she is asexual.

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14 hours ago, Copal_0 said:

I forgot the term, but it refers to (maybe not genetically) the way family traits get passed down. I'll see if i can look it up, it's in my crit notes somewhere. 

 

It's interesting, I had an uncle who was a life long bachelor, and my father's hypothesis  was always that he was gay and closeted (although my dad thinks a lot of people who aren't outwardly hetero are) , but I think it would make just as much sense that he was asexual. 

I'm in my fifties, I stopped trying to get involved in relationships around 26 years ago, mainly because I kept on getting dumped, usually because they were cheating, but alarm bells rang out, I too must have been doing something wrong, but because im single and I've never had kids, my father and his side of the family assume that im gay, I remember way back when my father said to me, if you're not married and you haven't had kids by your mid twenties, it's obvious that you're a queer (gay).

 

My father had loads of extra marital affairs and spawned many children from those affairs, he, his father and his brothers believed that if it moves, they have divine right to jump their bones, as for my mother, she's been single since she and my father parted company in the 1980's, my sister, she's married and divorced with two grown up children, we don't really have much to do with each other as she has similar beliefs to my father, she thinks I'm gay, it doesn't look good on the family, so I'm left alone as I'm an embarrassment :D

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I just put 3 for each of them because I don't know. 

 

I'm the odd one out in a lot of ways. I don't even have any LGBT+ cousins to my knowledge, and I can't remember all their names. 

 

Not accounting for the social mores of previous generations and privacy leads to a lot of projection. 

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Both are heterosexual. And believe that other sexual orientations are anomalies. 

 

However, I know their relationship is asexual due to my mother not wanting sex or any kind of physical contact with my father. That's why hell exists at home. 

 

My mother is like an asexual, while my father is sexual. 

 

She even said: "I told you to leave me, I told you I was different from the other women. I never liked sex or wanted it, I just wanted to have 3 children, that's why I had sex with you. But I want to be with you. Because I love you. But love isn't all about sex or physical contact, I want a different type of love from you. " And this is how the 5 of us life. With them screaming this and more to each other. Offending one another, calling each other homo or cheater. Breaking things and almost hitting each other. 

 

My sisters are still too young to be interested in relationships or sex. One is 9 and the other is 14.

 

And I am, me with no labels. 

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What's interesting is, at this point in time, all of the 23 people who have voted so far have heterosexual fathers. 0_O

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my mom is probably aro ace and my dad is probably het ace, but almost in aro ace territory.

 

my parents didn't get married until their they were 28/32, which is pretty late for their generation (especially among mormons). my siblings and i were all planned pregnancies. they haven't slept in the same room (much less the same bed) since my sister was born 16 and a bit years ago, they never go on dates (even on their 25th anniversary this year), and they have never indicated any dissatisfaction with this arrangement. my dad acts more romantic than my mom (makes her favorite foods on her birthday, or sweets for valentines), but only barely. it's only noticable because my mom does nothing romantic ever. since all us kids are pretty independent now, my parents basically just do their own things while living in the same house.

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Both of my parents are straight and my dad seemingly likes sex more. My parents and I used to think my sister was also asexual, but she said she definitely isn't.

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  • 2 months later...

Heterosexual parents, one heterosexual sibling. My nephew is probably asexual, comorbid with severe autism 

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everywhere and nowhere

It seems that I'm the only non-straight and only not 100% "normal" person in my close family circle. There are absolutely no signs that I'm not biologically related to them - in fact, physically I look very much like my father. So altogether, I'm glad to believe on my own example that personality is non-hereditary. I anyway favor the immaterial, non-biological, non-deterministic...

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I always wondered about the genetic component too...as far as I can tell my dad is a regular sexual, definitely not overly so but very romantic, so the opposite of me :D

My mom I always thought could be less sexual or even ace, mostly because my parents split up for a while and during those years she was completely uninterested in a relationship, and she's very uncomfortable talking about sex in any form, even on TV it makes her uncomfortable. 

I do have a sibling as well who I know is very very romantic but doesn't have much of a sex drive, not ace but also not super into it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
helana12_03

My mom, dad, sister, cousins, uncles, aunt and grandparents are all heterosexual.

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E Wildflower

I have a cousin who is bisexual, but all of my other relatives (parents, grandparents, 2 aunts, 3 uncles, and 9 other cousins) are heterosexual as far as I know.

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