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An open letter to my Peers


Egberth

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Hello there,

 

After lingering, strolling and scrolling on this page for a few weeks it is time to say Hi and an introduction. I like to be fair with myself and people, which is one of the reasons I joined, but am not comfortable enough to use my real first name so for now you can call me by my pseudonym of “Egberth”.

 

I am a 25 year old archaeology student who is finishing up his Master thesis these upcoming months. For my masters I have moved to a foreign country in which I am living now for almost two and a half years.

 

Regarding my asexuality I never gave it much thought till one or two years ago. Since I was eleven I had to deal with the chronical illness (not terminally) of a parent. This has weighted heavy on me during my puberty. Before that I was a pretty happy little fella.  From my 18th till my 23rd I just accepted it by not trying to feel much about it without dealing with it or giving it a place. Then I moved to a foreign country with a lot more time to reflect from afar on the situation. The decline of my parent’s illness became a lot more apparent when exposed to it under intervals when I visited during holidays. These time apart and the more concentrated sadness it gave me brought me over my breaking point. I decided to seek help at a phycologist for a year which helped me to deal with this on my own, and happy to say, to give it place.  Although I had a burnout in this trajectory for half a year, of which I am still trying to get back from study-wise, I am glad for it and now try to be more honest with my feelings.

 

As you can understand this is also part of an identity forming process, with the decision to be fully true to myself, and a less cluttered mind on the parent illness issue I felt space to question my (a)sexuality as of which I was never bothered too much about.

 

From puberty till now I have had female friends who had a crush on me/wanted to date me. I never pursued this option since it always was apparent to me that I was not attracted to them apart from the platonic part. The last time I had to have this awkward conversation was two years ago. She was really cool and open about it, the misread intentions and suggested the idea that I might me aromantic (no autocorrect not “aromatic” *adds aromantic to dictionary). This was just before I went to see a phycologist and the notion kept with me this time.

 

I have tried to discuss my (a)sexuality with long-time friends but got tired of the well known liners as “You will find the one” or question if I had a partner already by them or family. And although explained by them as good intentions because they would be happy for me, I just got tired and fed up with these notions. Which let me to roam and search the web for like-minded, hence here I am on this site I found and help me understand myself. The past few weeks I have learned about the different kind of attractions and the revelation I got from made me come back to the forums for a few weeks now.

 

Without the constraint of being labelled and the understanding here of sexuality being fluid, which gives much relieve, I can finally say that I identify as: Aromantic Asexual who experiences Platonic and Aesthetic attraction.

 

Next month I will move back to my country of origin. With my delay of studies, the last half year has been a bit lonely because most of my study friends already moved back. This I one of the reasons I search for contact in this community, so I can take this self-discovery and support it brings me with me as I move temporally back in with my folks.

 

To be honest I do not know how much I will write on this forum, I like to read along and observe as the scientist within me, but I am well comfortable to have PM with persons that can relate or which like to chitchat with me about Asexuality in general.

 

More about me and my interests:

 

I love archaeology, in which funnily we also have to deal with the fluidity of identity a lot. Although aromantic I adore the romanticism period, mainly the art and music but funnily enough am also a metal head and EDM fan. I enjoy the outdoors a lot and grin at stupid puns even if I make most of them myself. (For the pun lovers under us I do not doubt that this one is not already made but here it goes: I used to think I was straight like you, then I took a Aro to the knee.)

And last but not least, my favourite cake is a classic: Schwarzwälder kirschtorte a.k.a. Black Forest cake!

 

Well this is the end of my open letter for now, I hope to get to know and talk to you a bit more and in doing so to get to know myself even better ^_^.

 

For now my salutations and kind regards,

 

Egberth

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Hello Egberth,

welcome and have some cake! :cake::cake:

I really enjoyed reading your open letter and just wanted to say, i like your profile pic! Did you draw it yourself?

Good luck for your Masters ^_^

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Thank you Cartamine,

 

Yes I did, its a study of a Da Vinci study/sketch of human anatomy, the purple I later added on digitally yesterday since I needed a profile pic :).   

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Hello! That's really cool that you're into archaeology! I'm an art history major myself. Romanticism is definitely interesting. Liberty Leading the People is probably part of the reason I decided to study art history in the first place, it's such a beautiful painting. Anyway, welcome! :cake:

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Space-Ace-Android

Welcome Egberth! I hope you enjoy this forum  and that it can be of use to you.

 

Here is your traditional welcoming gift of cake

Image result for cake

:cake:CAKE:cake:

Image result for skull cake

MORE CAKE

 

Have an ace day!

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paperbackreader

Nice to meet you! Did you know the blackforest gateau is one of the most prevalent cakes in bakeries in south east asia? 

Related image

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Hey all,

 

Thanks for all your welcoming responses and cakes!

 

@sachign:  Glad I could amuse somebody with it today :)

@neighway: Awesome! Maybe we will cross paths unknowingly since the many disciplines archaeology borrows knowledge or knowledgeable people from to get answers.

@Space-Ace-Android: I’m sure it will. Thanks for the cakes, I love raspberries!

@paperbackreader: I did not know that and haven’t tasted the gateau variant yet. But if I get the chance I will definitely try it!

 

:D

 

 

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Welcome! I'm sorry to hear that you're friends didn't take it as well, but it's just the fact that they've never heard of it. Why not use this to help educate them? 

Kue+Black+Forest+Cake.jpg

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Hey Lichley,

 

Thank you for the guide, If it really becomes an issue I might refer it to them if they want to know more.

I've haven't really been out yet back at home, the partner question I've been asked about during holidays as almost a means of conversation starter. But now I'm more sure about it, as it has become an option to me I might be more open about it when it comes up :). It's indeed true if they don't know about asexuality being a thing that I can expect the same reactions. 

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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