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Blue sun

Am I asexual or grey A?

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Blue sun

I'm 22 years old and I have never in my life felt in love not even a crush on someone besides JUST one famous person, but it was my idea of him, after he changed his personality I find him attractive but is not like it used to be before  (or maybe it was just that childish crush I had in my teenage years). But I have never feel not even sexual attraction to someone, I have been thinking that I may be demisexual but they tend to experience something when it comes to relationships, I'm not gonna lie saying that it would be nice to have someone to cuddle and kiss and enjoy the silence together. I'm not a really sexual person I don't get turn on easily. I have been labeling myself as "picky" because yeah I know what I am looking for but still it's just so weird that I haven't had any crush in my short life, I can find people sexy and everything. The other day I was thinking that I could see myself having an emotional relationship with a girl but nothing beyond that but with a man I could probably go a little bit further but still don't feel like just thinking about sex. 

So I think that probably Grey A may sounds better for me?

 

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Jarl Surf

I do believe a grey is someone that is right in between being sexual and being asexual. So like, sometimes you might feel sexual attraction, but maybe not. If you've never felt sexual attraction at all before, I'd say that you're asexual. If you feel like you might could feel sexual attraction for someone, then grey, you might be. 

 

It may not be sexual attraction, too. It could very well be being close and loving without sex in it, which is also asexual, but like what form of it, I get wanting to know that. 

 

And if you see yourself having an "emotional" relationship with a girl, that doesn't have to mean sexual. I think, based on this information, you might be ace.

 

That's just my pov, anyway.

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lokilaufeyson

i think grey is if you knew someone well. You'd have to know them before you slept together

 

 

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TheAngel(of)Peace
5 hours ago, lokilaufeyson said:

i think grey is if you knew someone well. You'd have to know them before you slept together

That's demisexual.

 

It sounds to me like you are asexual. Asexuals can experience other kinds of attraction, like romantic (desiring a romantic relationship), sensual (desiring hugs and cuddles), and aesthetic (finding someone attractive). 

 

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Blue sun
On 11/20/2017 at 12:41 AM, Jarl Surf said:

I do believe a grey is someone that is right in between being sexual and being asexual. So like, sometimes you might feel sexual attraction, but maybe not. If you've never felt sexual attraction at all before, I'd say that you're asexual. If you feel like you might could feel sexual attraction for someone, then grey, you might be. 

 

It may not be sexual attraction, too. It could very well be being close and loving without sex in it, which is also asexual, but like what form of it, I get wanting to know that. 

 

And if you see yourself having an "emotional" relationship with a girl, that doesn't have to mean sexual. I think, based on this information, you might be ace.

 

That's just my pov, anyway.

I'm not sure if I have or not experienced sexual attraction in the past because I have never liked anyone or had any boyfriend or girlfriend. I can definitely see someone and tell if they are physically attractive but don't feel like neither doing or wanting anything with them, I'm still confused if is it because of lack of experience in the subject or it's that I'm not capable of it.

But sure I have seen "sexy scenes" on movies and on tv and I can react to that, not the people but the act itself.

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Blue sun
On 11/20/2017 at 10:54 AM, TheAP said:

That's demisexual.

 

It sounds to me like you are asexual. Asexuals can experience other kinds of attraction, like romantic (desiring a romantic relationship), sensual (desiring hugs and cuddles), and aesthetic (finding someone attractive). 

 

I'm not sure if I have experienced or not sexual attraction in the past because I have never liked anyone or had any boyfriend or girlfriend. I can definitely see someone and tell if they are physically attractive but don't feel like neither doing or wanting anything with them, I'm still confused if is it because of lack of experience in the subject or it's that I'm not capable of it.

But sure I have seen "sexy scenes" on movies and on tv and I can react to that, not the people but the act itself.

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TheAngel(of)Peace
8 hours ago, Blue sun said:

I'm not sure if I have experienced or not sexual attraction in the past because I have never liked anyone or had any boyfriend or girlfriend. I can definitely see someone and tell if they are physically attractive but don't feel like neither doing or wanting anything with them, I'm still confused if is it because of lack of experience in the subject or it's that I'm not capable of it.

But sure I have seen "sexy scenes" on movies and on tv and I can react to that, not the people but the act itself.

You don't have to have had experience to identify as asexual. It's okay to call yourself asexual for the time being, even if you're not 100% sure.

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Fantastic Name

It looks like you're confusing the other types of attraction with sexual attraction. There are aces out there that enjoy cuddling and kissing. There are aces out there can find someone physically attractive without wanting to do things with them. There are aces out there do get aroused by sex scenes. There are aces out there that experience having crushes. I know it sounds contradictory, but there are plenty of aces out there that have similar experiences as you. It doesn't invalidate your asexuality at all.

 

I experience all these things myself, and I too used to confuse them with sexual attraction, so I can totally relate to your situation.

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Space-Ace-Android

You are most likely asexual as aces can experience other types of attraction (which can be, and commonly is, mistaken for sexual attraction.) If you don't want to experience sex, then you are most definitely are asexual.

 

 If you don't want to settle on a label yet, that's fine! This forum will be here for you whenever you need assistance, and you are accepted.

 

Image result for cool cake 

:cake:Share the cake love:cake:

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Blue sun
7 hours ago, Space-Ace-Android said:

You are most likely asexual as aces can experience other types of attraction (which can be, and commonly is, mistaken for sexual attraction.) If you don't want to experience sex, then you are most definitely are asexual.

 

 If you don't want to settle on a label yet, that's fine! This forum will be here for you whenever you need assistance, and you are accepted.

 

Image result for cool cake 

:cake:Share the cake love:cake:

Aaawww thank you so much. I still not sure yet, I will wait till the future and see. But for now I just know I feel like being part of the ace spectrum. 

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LovelyLeafer
23 hours ago, Blue sun said:

I'm not sure if I have experienced or not sexual attraction in the past because I have never liked anyone or had any boyfriend or girlfriend. I can definitely see someone and tell if they are physically attractive but don't feel like neither doing or wanting anything with them, I'm still confused if is it because of lack of experience in the subject or it's that I'm not capable of it.

But sure I have seen "sexy scenes" on movies and on tv and I can react to that, not the people but the act itself.

It sounds like you're describing me exactly, and yes it's so confusing! so happy to have found a supportive community :) 

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Blue sun
On 11/22/2017 at 9:56 AM, Fantastic Name said:

It looks like you're confusing the other types of attraction with sexual attraction. There are aces out there that enjoy cuddling and kissing. There are aces out there can find someone physically attractive without wanting to do things with them. There are aces out there do get aroused by sex scenes. There are aces out there that experience having crushes. I know it sounds contradictory, but there are plenty of aces out there that have similar experiences as you. It doesn't invalidate your asexuality at all.

 

I experience all these things myself, and I too used to confuse them with sexual attraction, so I can totally relate to your situation.

I'm still not sure yet, I may be a later bloomer but until I get the answer, I can totally say I belong in the ace spectrum, and yeah probably asexual.

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Grinchmer
14 minutes ago, Blue sun said:

I can totally say I belong in the ace spectrum, and yeah probably asexual.

Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as an 'asexual spectrum'. Asexuality means the complete absence of sexual attraction/desire. If you do experience sexual attraction at some point, no matter how often or under which circumstances, that's not asexual.

 

It's one extreme end of the sexuality spectrum. Asexuality itself is a point, not a spectrum.

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Pramana
1 hour ago, Homer said:

Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as an 'asexual spectrum'. Asexuality means the complete absence of sexual attraction/desire. If you do experience sexual attraction at some point, no matter how often or under which circumstances, that's not asexual.

 

It's one extreme end of the sexuality spectrum. Asexuality itself is a point, not a spectrum.

1 hour ago, Blue sun said:

I'm still not sure yet, I may be a later bloomer but until I get the answer, I can totally say I belong in the ace spectrum, and yeah probably asexual.

The "ace spectrum" is terminology popularized by David Jay in 2011 to refer the collection of asexuality, gray-asexuality, and demisexuality as a grouping of related orientations. That usage is followed by numerous sources (including asexual blogs, introductory books like Julie Sondra Decker's The Invisible Orientation, and academics publishing research articles on asexuality). Thus, the asexual spectrum is the bottom part of the sexual intensity spectrum as represented in AVEN's logo. It should be noted that AVEN has historically defined asexuality to include both absent and low degrees of sexual attraction within its FAQs, and before terms like gray-asexuality and demisexuality were introduced "asexual" functioned discursively as an umbrella term covering all those categories, which is why we now have the spectrum/umbrella terminology. For example, here's how the Survey Team defines terms in the 2015 Asexual Community Census Report:
 

"To avoid ambiguity, “ace” or “ace respondents” will be used to refer to the aggregate “asexual spectrum”, consisting of people identifying as asexual, demisexual, or gray-asexual, while “asexual” will be used to refer to those who identify specifically as “asexual”."
https://asexualcensus.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/2015_ace_census_summary_report.pdf



 

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lokilaufeyson
On ‎20‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 2:54 PM, TheAP said:

That's demisexual.

 

It sounds to me like you are asexual. Asexuals can experience other kinds of attraction, like romantic (desiring a romantic relationship), sensual (desiring hugs and cuddles), and aesthetic (finding someone attractive). 

 

Ohh sorry 😅 

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Char21622

I'm not sure if I'm asexual or gray-ace. I get crushes and am mildly attracted to people when they're physically attractive (if I think they're hot) and I can feel my body responding to that in a certain way (getting turned on), but mentally having sex is disgusting and unappealing to me. Whenever I've kissed someone before, it's always felt uncomfortable, gross, and slimy - I don't like it. I get attracted to people like most people do, if they're physically attractive, have a great personality, and I just really like them in that way, but not sexually. I still love hugs and cuddles and all that, but romantic things (like the type of stuff you see in movies) are pretty repelling to me. I haven't really gotten close enough with someone to be sexually or romantically atrracted to them as far as I know, but I don't think that will change even if I get to know them really well - is that ace or gray-ace?

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