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Am I Asexual if I still masterbate?


Questioning at 35

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Questioning at 35

I have recently really started to question myself and who I am as to who I’m supposed to be. 

 

I want to be in a relationship, but have little to no desire for intercourse. What I do crave is supportive physical interactions. Hugs, snuggles, a ‘your mine’ hand to hold and arm to link mine into. But could see that person being a man or women, so maybe that makes me bi?but have only had sexual interactions with men, Lways feeling like I had too so that I could get the bits and pieces I craved. 

 

But out with that said, I appreciate the release felt from masterbation, but only able to react the big O when watching porn.

 

ugh, what a chaotic mess. 

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Yes, it is possible to be asexual and still have a libido and masturbate. If you don't desire sex but do desire non-sexual physical contact, you might be biromantic (romantically attracted to both men and women) and asexual or grey-asexual.

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If you still want to please yourself that's up to you. I'd say more asexuals do masturbate than don't, at least from my (admittedly short) experience knowing asexuals.

Edited by Groobly
I was too generalizing with the first part of my comment, so I got rid of it
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drjohnhwatson
1 minute ago, Groobly said:

All being asexual requires is not liking and having sex. If you still want to please yourself that's up to you. I'd say more asexuals do masturbate than don't, at least from my (admittedly short) experience knowing asexuals.

Are you saying not having sex is a requirement of asexuality?  I'm not trying to be combative; I just want to know if I read that right.  Because I think you can have sex to please your partner but not actually want it yourself and still be asexual.  Not that I've done it; that's just my two cents on it.

As to the masturbation thing...if a person is raped and they orgasm, does that mean that it wasn't actually rape?  Of course not; your body was just reacting.  Some people have a higher libido than others, even when asexual, and it's just a scratch to be itched.

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11 minutes ago, drjohnhwatson said:

Are you saying not having sex is a requirement of asexuality?  I'm not trying to be combative; I just want to know if I read that right.  Because I think you can have sex to please your partner but not actually want it yourself and still be asexual.  Not that I've done it; that's just my two cents on it.

As to the masturbation thing...if a person is raped and they orgasm, does that mean that it wasn't actually rape?  Of course not; your body was just reacting.  Some people have a higher libido than others, even when asexual, and it's just a scratch to be itched.

That's a good point. Fair enough. I wasn't thinking of that when I wrote that, but I agree with you.

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FerlynnGoldbeard

Having a libido, having sex, and desiring or not desiring to have sex are three very different things, I think.

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I have a libido it is like a chore having to take care of it. Though I do not have any sexual desire towards people. 

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  • 2 months later...

I mean, let us take this logic to its most extreme. If an asexual man gets morning wood, can they still be asexual? Of course they can. Despite the fact a libido exists to create the (for me) morning disappointment it had nothing to do with being attracted to someone or wanting / thinking about sex. It's just there.

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  • 1 year later...
WitchyGir30

You are asking the same question I was looking up. I’ve been starting to question things. I’m 37 and actually never had sex and the thought of actuality having sex doesn’t appeal to me at all. Masturbation feels good but not great. There’s no real OMG satisfaction for me. In fact I get more out of watching porn or reading erotica. Is this pretty common for an asexual? I’ve come to the realization that even though I’ve always identified as straight I really just want someone who understands me and loves me. Will be there for me and hold my hand and cuddle and I really don’t care if it’s male or female.

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NickyTannock

@WitchyGir30 Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be a Biromantic Asexual.

Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone.

But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.
There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone.
There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling.
There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty.
There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone.
And more.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a The Witch Cake,

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Dreamsexual

I believe this is a two year old thread ...

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NickyTannock
59 minutes ago, Dreamsexual said:

I believe this is a two year old thread ...

Good catch.

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NickyTannock

This thread has not been active for a long time and is now being locked. If anyone would like to discuss this topic further, feel free to start a new thread about it.

 

Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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