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Whats your story?


hmini2000

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I am genuinely interested in how you guys found out you were Asexual. So whats your story? Short and sweet? Long and complicated? How'd it happen? 

 

Me. I was a freshman in high school, scared and new to this world of teenagers. Luckily I had my friend Maggie who was a senior and already knew the ways of this strange land. So one day while riding the bus home with her she suggested I should come to a GSA meeting with her next Monday after school,( I was hesitant till she told me there was food!) Well to kick things off they started talking about what types of sexualities there are. Gay, Bi, Pan, etc, but one came up that really peaked my interest. Asexual. I was surprised it was a thing because I've been told one way or another you had to like someone boy or girl. Now I hear there's another option and you don't have to like anyone, and that's okay. To sum things up I spent the next few months really contemplating it and talking to Maggie and a few other friends till I decided that "Yeah, I'm an Asexual." It kinda took me a while to accept it too. I think I knew it from a fairly early age that I just didn't want all that stuff I was supposed to want once I hit middle school. Once I found out there was a name for it I was equally terrified and at peace. Terrified because my family always taught me things like 'You're not special or different, your job is to contribute to society and be normal'. None the less though, here I am. 

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For me, it was when I got into my first year of high school. I thought that I liked people, but apparently what I felt was aesthetic and platonic attraction rather than sexual or romantic attraction. Thanks to YouTube, I found out about asexuality! 

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I assumed all females were like me because my sister appears to be demisexual. My female friends growing up talked about sex a little but they didn't seem obsessive about it and they didn't share details (which I'm thankful for). My understanding of it was that females weren't really into it. So I just thought I was normal up until I discovered that I am asexual earlier this year.

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I always didn't really think or care that much for sex. I had been really close to having it, but ended up chickening out because I just couldn't go through with it when the time came. I dated people and had long term relationships all throughout high school, but I never wanted sex from them, and the only long term relationships I had were with girls who didn't want to have sex yet. So, I always knew sex was something I didn't want, and to be honest kind of was afraid of in a way, and always felt stressed over, but I also wanted to have that special companionship you can only get with a significant other. I also had a lot of misconceptions about what being asexual meant, so I didn't want to be asexual cause I thought it'd mean I'd be alone forever. However, I then watched Season Four of Bojack Horseman, and that actually taught me more about asexuals and what it means to actually be that. So, then I spent about a month thinking "What if I'm actually asexual?", but I was afraid to confront it for some reason. So, one day I went on Reddit, laid out my situation, and asked if people thought I might be asexual, and they said yes. I then came here, started talking to more asexuals...and now here I am. Sorry for the wall of text. :P

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I thought it was normal to be how I was, at some point, I realized it wasn’t (which made me feel lonely) and eventually stumbled a YouTube video that changed my life drastically, and when I found AVEN, 90% of my depression disappeared because I wasn’t lonely in my way of thinking.

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J. van Deijck

I've always been kind of "different". when I was a teenager, my peers were all about forming relationships and having sex and all that jazz, and I wasn't into it. I felt okay being alone and I didn't really understand how canpeople ever want to sleep with each other.

I didn't feel any attraction to anyone, but when I was thinking about it deeper, guys seemed more 'appealing' than girls. so I thought I was gay who didn't grow up to want sex yet.

then I actually discovered asexuality when I was in my early 20s, and at first I thought I must have been an aromantic asexual. but then I've found out I was in love with my close friend, who was a guy like me. then with another of my friends, who is also a guy. so after a deeper research I figured out that I must be demi-homoromantic, and I'm still sure I am. I've never felt anything like this to a girl, even those who were my close friends. although I thought I might be demi-panromantic because "if I can develop feelings for a man, then why not for a woman or anyone else, and why would  gender mean anyhing at all". never truly happened, though.

I guess in my case "aromantic until finds the right person" makes much sense. for sexual orientation, I still think I'm rather asexual than anything else because even though some men are really attractive to me, they never really make me consider how would it be to have sex with them. so I guess that's all that my story helped me find out about myself.

and then I appeared here. :P

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I've had really bad social anxiety since I was about fifteen. But I've always really wanted romantic relationships with people, so I thought the fact that I didn't want to have sex had to do with how bad my anxiety was. A came across this website a few years ago, and thought "maybe", but then I convinced myself it was just my social anxiety, again. Then I met this guy that I liked a bunch. One day, I was sleeping over at his house and we were just talking about something, and he was like "Maybe you're asexual." (He is too). I was still kinda in denial about, but for the next few months, it was in the back of my mind. And then, I was watching Bojack Horseman and was like, okay, yeah, I'm asexual haha. So long story short, I think I've known for a while, but it took seeing other people like me to really accept it.

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Forgotten Fox

Simple story really, I didn't really think much about my sexuality since I was more focused on getting school work done than dating. I knew what sex was and everything, but I saw it more as a biological thing people did to reproduce than something they did for pleasure. It wasn't until the end of middle school I realized I hadn't gotten attracted to anyone unlike my friends who all had crushes. I decided to take a kinsey scale test just to check(I was more than 85% sure I was straight and just didn't make a big deal out of relationships), but plot twist I get an X on the test. Which meant Asexual and after looking it up, I managed to find this website. It took a while to get used to and even now I don't have an exact label for what I am(Demi? Grey? Pure Ace?), but I'm glad to know that I can still be accepted for whoever my ace self turns out to be and that's great. ^_^

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Hello. Nice to meet you here. That's a great question. 

 

For me, asexuality never crossed my mind until the past year. I confused intense romantic attraction with sexual attraction. It wasn't until I realised that the dynamics I have had with partners were a little different and unexpected.  In short, I would be intimate but not enjoy it. I've been intimate (sex) with 12 people. I'm 31 years old. And I've not once really enjoyed the experience. I would walk home worried and anxious, thinking I was an absolute fraud for being intimate with people but not enjoying it. I wondered if I had deep dissociative issues, trauma based stuff which was hiding. I assumed that I was heavily scared or in denial of myself and that I had to figure it all out. 

 

When I first read about asexuality I casually wondered if I was asexual because, in short, my genitals have never reacted to people. I've never been turned on by people. 

 

Today I worked out that I am a homoromantic asexual female. And now I am on the path to accepting this. 

 

I am open to change. I've never been with someone I am romantically attracted to. So I don't know if that will change things. If it does, it does. 

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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