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Existential Crisis


Bunnie

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I came out asexual when I was 18, and throughout my adult years I've always been pestered by family about meeting a guy, settling down, and having kids. And...I never had a problem being like "Never! Next question!". But lately, as I begin my mid-20's, I can't help but wonder a couple of things. I've never had a boyfriend, I've been on two innocent and awkward dates that never went anywhere, never been kissed, never felt the 'touch of a man'...and I have always been okay with that until recently. I've always honestly had better things to think about or worry over, but lately I've been asking myself the same questions as I lie awake some nights: will I ever fall in love? Will I ever meet someone? Will I ever experience sex, and do I even want to? What if none of that stuff ever happens and I die alone? Am I okay with that? 

 

I've always been someone who was okay with who she is and completely confident in that. And maybe this is just me being in my mid-20's and finally realizing "Oh, shit...I'm an adult now!", or hell--maybe it's because the holiday season is upon us and I'm seeing my younger brothers in long term relationships and married, except me...but I'm just having these moments of 'I am utterly alone' and I'm wondering if people have ever had these types of 'crisis moments'?

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That whole thought process is initially what kept me from wanting to accept my asexuality. I thought that if I was asexual I'd be condemning myself to the single life forever, but now I know that's just not the case. The thoughts you are having are completely rational. I feel like it's something a lot of asexuals wonder about eventually, even aromantic ones. I guess the only way to find out if the way you've been living really is for you is to first put yourself out there. See how dating feels, how you feel about romantic relationships at all. If it feels right, you can start answering some of the harder questions you have from there. 

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Apathetic Echidna

I guess I am having a mid-twenties crisis moment. I never really identified as anything in particular, I just let people make assumptions and I was happy being me and not really caring. But my crisis sort of hit I decided I needed to know labels to understand myself, even if I ended up discovering I was full on straight cishet. Discovered I am not straight cishet, and I am on my way to being as happy as I was before the stupid 'I must know' crisis thing. Being 25 sort of actually sucks.

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I forced myself into a sexual "relationship" when I was almost 21 and it was a mess... it took almost 2 yrs to recover and i thought "never again"... Then I met the right queer person and we are now married for 12 years and we are fine (and through many crises...)

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