Guilty Gray-A In Need Of Advice

[Smols]

Hi guys! So, I'm not sure what to do about this nor am I sure where to begin. Basically, after years of being sex repulsed I've finally been able to reach a gray state and identify as gray-a/demisexual. Some things I'm okay with and some I'm not okay with. Anyway, I haven't been in the most supportive relationships/I had partners say they were supportive but in the end they can't handle that I'm not the most sexual of partners and bail. It's made me pretty anxiety ridden, especially now that I'm with someone who is pretty understanding and very very respectful of me. With that being said I'm having issues and I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm fine with being touched to an extent but when he wants me to touch him or do things for him I freeze up and feel sick to my stomach. Especially when it comes to bodily fluids. I feel terrible and selfish. Especially when he does things for me/is trying to make me more comfortable with my sexual side and help me feel less guilty about it (I feel guilt/intense depression after doing anything sexual -- slowly getting better). But at this point I think it's out of my hands and I just want to make him happy. I mean I think I make him happy by being okay with him doing stuff to me that I somewhat enjoy but I'd like to return the favor. It also doesn't help that I'm allergic to latex and certain products are lacking in the latex-free department.

 

Anyway, does anyone else feel guilty after sex? Or has anyone else run into this same issue?

[roland.o]

Hello Catsiel, maybe you can find some types of activities and utilities that you feel comfortable with and that your partner enjoys?

I can't tell if there's a latex-free alternative for everything, but there are alternatives for some things at least...

https://b4brands.com/blog/latex-vs-nitrile-vs-vinyl-gloves-which-to-choose/