Belated Introduction

[Seajules]

I just realized I never did one of these.  I've been a member of the site since 2014, though I created my account, posted a little bit, then away for a few years because I got busy with school.  I finished that degree, and have just started the next one.  I'm in a rest week between terms, and will probably go quiet again when the next term starts up, but I want to try to be more involved in the community here, because I'm feeling a bit more certain of my asexual orientation, and I could really use interaction with other people who know what that means from the inside.

 

I'm older, I'll be 46 in December, and I grew up in both an era and a religious subculture where asexuality just wasn't even a possibility that came up.  My lack of interest in dating and "temptations of the flesh" was seen as "proper" womanly modesty, and it was sort of implicitly assumed that when I married, a switch would flip or something and I would suddenly have a sex drive and interest in sex with my husband?  I don't know, but it didn't happen that way.  Instead, I married a hypersexual, kinky man who had no idea he was hypersexual and kinky, and that those things were okay, because again, religious subculture.  He ended up cheating on me with my best friend at the time, we got an acrimonious divorce while I was trying to get disability at the same time, and it was a rough couple of years.  The end result has been emotionally and psychologically healthier for me, but I wish it had come about in a less painful way for all involved.

 

Anyway, copying and pasting a bit from my profile, just to save myself having to type it all out again: I'm still trying to figure out exactly where I fall on the asexuality spectrum.  There are factors that make me think I am sex averse on top of being asexual, but I also think, even if the aversion weren't there, I would not be inclined to want sex with anyone.  I do crave intimacy, though, and I wish the modern notion of romantic intimacy was not so adulterated with the idea of the necessity of a sexual component.  There are so many other ways to be romantic, to be intimate, and to be attracted and attractive.  I get attracted to people aesthetically, intellectually, comedically, linguistically, through shared passions or beliefs or experiences, or because I really like one or more aspects of their character, and those are all attractions as legitimate as sexual attraction.

 

I'm a California transplant to Northeast Florida, at least until my niece graduates, then we'll see.  I miss my hometown of San Diego (which is not my birthtown, but the city where I've lived the most and longest by preference), but I can't deny the cost of living is better out here.  School has pretty much eaten my life.  I generally like dogs more than people, and I really want one of my own again, but I have to prioritize other things at the moment.  I'm a professional writer, though that's fallen by the wayside for the past few years as I focus on school.  Most of my work is dark fantasy and horror derived from folklore and fairy tale reimaginings, with some forays into weird history, photography, and astronomy.  When I have time, I read widely and in generic cycles.  I knit sporadically, when the Florida weather allows for it, though I am allergic to most animal fibers.  I also have celiac disease, and love to bake.  I don't like making my hobbies easy on myself.  I love watching genre movies and television, as well as baking and reno shows.  I listen to a wide range of music, and employ playlists extensively while writing.  Though I was raised extremely religious, my approach to all religions these days is strictly anthropological.  My politics are left-leaning.  I truly do believe that saltwater is the cure for everything.

 

So, hi!  Again.  Still.  I'm very glad to be here.

[Big J]

Welcome back!  

[Lichley]

Welcome back!!! 

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!