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problem with complementing


stuartmcgrath

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stuartmcgrath

dose anyone know how to complement someone on there physical appearance without coming off as flirty or something like that 

e.g. they have a cute nose and i want them to know(s) 

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For me it really depends on the tone of voice or the situation. Sometimes I just take it as an innocent compliment, but other times I feel like it might be intended to mock me, regardless of if it really is just a kind compliment. I rarely interpret physical complements as flirtation, but that's mostly due to my own self confidence issues.

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I’m terrible at compliments. ☹️ I don’t really compliment people on their looks, and I don’t really think to praise people a whole lot so any compliments I do make feel kinda forced. And, compliments really throw me off when directed at me; I know it’s good etiquette to compliment someone back, but I end up just squirming awkwardly cause I can’t think of something sincere to say on fly. 😖 That in turn makes me nervous about complimenting someone else too cause I don’t want to feel anxious like I do.

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Whenever I'm complimenting someone in general (not necessarily on their looks), I tend to explain my statement as to why I think so. But it's really rare for me to compliment anyone on their looks per se and you won't hear from me anything more than "nice" or "cool".

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I've never complimented anyone on their looks in that way. I do sometimes say things like "your sweater has a very nice color, it fits you very well". I find it difficult to compliment looks not related to clothes, maybe because I have no confidence at all in my own looks. And anyone can have a nice sweater. It just doesn't seem fair to me to not say anything about their face, for example, which they couldn't change (except with surgery of course). If someone got a nice sweater or a haircut they made an effort and that weighs in more to the compliment, I think.

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I normally only compliment friends who know I'm asexual or people who I judge won't be attracted to me. However, if it really is a stranger that you won't see again, it's not a big deal if my compliments are taken as flirtatious.  Most people like being flirted with and, unless you are in a place that stereotypically leads to hookups, people don't expect any followup.

 

However, if I complement acquaintances I see again, I do get accused of leading people on.  It's unfortunate that being friendly is interpreted as something in else.

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I would say it in a way that I would say to a cousin or sibling. I don’t know if that makes sense, it’s just an extra platonic situation. Also it doesn’t hurt to say your intention as well. (I just wanted you to know)

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