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Ita828878

Not sure what I am

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Ita828878

I am a 24 year old male. I'll say from the start that I have never been excited by the idea of sex, and honestly when I hear about it I get a bit uncomfortable. Porn has never done anything for me. I've had peers react in shock when they find out I've never masturbated and have told me that I need to do it because it's the best feeling. I just don't have an urge. That's not to say I haven't experienced anything. I dated a girl for about a year and we kissed a lot and there was some touching that went on but it never went beyond that. I did enjoy that stuff though. Part of me feels like my weird feelings towards sex/masturbation might just be due to the fact that I haven't experienced it yet, but at the same time I see tons of other people that were excited about sex way before they ever experienced it, so I don't know. When it comes to other activities a couple could do together like kissing, massaging, tickling, etc. I am totally into that and I enjoy the thought of it. I just have trouble relating with others my age because there's so much talk of sex, porn and masturbating. I'm just not on that same page. I don't know if anyone on here feels similarly but I thought I'd share. 

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Lichley

Well, masturbation depends on the person, as some are stuck with a libido but not attraction, the same with porn, where some can experience a kind of 3rd person arousal but not want to perform the act themselves (like girls watching Yaoi). You're right to recognise that people usually crave sex before trying it, because they have a sex drive, so they are driven to find people sexually attractive and want to have sex with them. A lot of people talk about sex and porn, and unfortunately it is a common topic from the ages 14+, especially for men due to their media representation of promiscuity = manliness.

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, so if you've never been sexually attracted to anyone then you could very well be asexual.

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Kersenne

It sounds to me like you are asexual - so welcome here, you found the right place to be :D 

As Lichely wrote, aseuxalty is the lack of sexual attraction, which means you don't desire sexual relationships. It doesn't exclude cuddling, kissing, massaging or anything - you can be asexual and still want to touch your partner and everything, you just don't want/have never felt the need/desire sex. 

I can relate to your story, because I don't want to have sex, have always dreaded the moment where my boyfriend would ask it of me because I felt no interest in it, but on the other hand, I enjoy cuddling very much, I don't mind kissing or touching the other, as long as it doesn't go beyond that :) 

If you want to know more about asexualty, I suggest you browse through the AVEN website and this forum, it will give you plenty of answers!

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Astryda

Just what others said.

 

You also mention you have never masturbated and never felt the urge to do so. Does it mean that you don't experience libido/sex drive at all? If so, there's a term named non-libidoism and actually I would suggest you to talk to your doctor about it and check your hormone levels. I don't mean that there's something wrong with having low libido, but this depends on hormones and checking their levels can say a lot about health of the organs that are supposed to produce those- sometimes lack of libido may be caused by underlying health issues which might be important to deal with, not to make you sexual or different, but to take care of your health in general.

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