Benni Tee Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Hi Guys. I recently came out of the closet and disclosed to my my friend and brother I am gay. First People I told. My brother is in shock! My friend took it well and is supporting me. I now know I am homo-romantic with no desire for sexual acts. Guys, my parents are religious and I am afraid to shock my mother who I love and adore with the disclosure. I know she will not handle it. She will have a heart attack. My brother at first thought I was joking. Until he started feeling this sinking inside. I feel really guilty for disclosing, however, it feels liberating and that massive weight has been lifted. I am not sure how to approach this with my psychologist. I have never had a relationship with a guy but I am very curious to. Not in a sexual way. I just need some support guys. I have so many questions. Help is appreciated as I am still coming to terms with finally accepting it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Hello Benni Tee, welcome to the AVEN forums! Have some cake... You don't have to come out to people if you don't want to. But if you want to come out to your mother, you could leave aside the homoromantic part and tell her that you have zero interest in sex. The word "gay" is often used for homosexuality rather than homoromanticism, so it could give people the wrong impression. Maybe put some effort into coming-out lines. How about "I have no interest in sex at all, and I get along better with guys than girls", for example? 3 hours ago, Benni Tee said: I have so many questions. Well, this is the "Questions about Asexuality" forum :-) Why don't you put some of your questions into words, so we can answer them? All the best to you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sunmarsh Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 As someone who is also gay & ace, I will say that it took me 10 years to become comfortable with my homoromanticism, and there are still things I am working on but I have come a long way. I would encourage you to come out at your own pace. It's is completely reasonable and understandable to tell some people and not others. Prioritize yourself and your well-being first. If you are still financially dependent on your parents, or if you still live with them, it may not be a good time. You also must come to realize that revealing this information will in some cases permanently change or damage your relationships with people. You may lose friends or family members may refuse to talk to you again. You need to make sure that you have a support network of people who WILL be there to support you in case things don't go over well. Both for physical support (can they house you if you get kicked out of the house for example) or emotional. But ultimately only you can decide what is best for you and when it is the right time for you to come out. But I would stress to prioritize your physical and emotional safety when doing so. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Benni Tee Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 Hi Sunmarsh, You are very insightful in this area. I am only planning disclosing to those who I think can handle it. I will take your advise and will hold off until I am completely ready. However, I am in the process currently of re-organising my life and identity. You are a very wisely spoken person. I would like to talk to you more privately. Is there any way we can chat on facebook. I have so many questions and based on your response, I clicking well with it. I think you can help answer alot for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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