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Does anyone else in a relationship Fantasize about being alone?


Copal_0

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I'm in a great relationship with someone I love, but I find myself fantasizing about being alone. I know I'd probably be miserable if I were to live it out. Does anyone else who is in a relationship have these thoughts?

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You're definitely not the only person to ponder this. I haven't been in that situation personally (because I've avoided long term relationships due to actually verifiably being happier alone) but I know other people who have. I know people in committed relationships who take occasional alone time (like go on a small vacation without their partner). My mother used to say she wished she could get a sense of what it's like to live as a single person. I think for most people, we wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and our imagination runs with that thought. It doesn't mean it's true to reality, though.

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After 6 years of marriage my husband and I spent 8 months apart, in different cities, when we were trying to figure out if we should stay in a relationship or not. There were definitely positives and negatives. But I realized that most of my "wanting to be alone" was more myself wanting to not feel guilty for being in a relationship with someone that wanted sex, and I wasn't giving it to him. The guilt was 100% gone as soon as I was living alone. There were no expectations anymore and it was wonderful. In the end though, we missed each other a lot and we ended up realizing we just needed to communicate better :) So, now we're back together, I don't feel miserable and guilty anymore, and I haven't fantasized about being alone (as much) now. So I think a lot of it depends on the reasons WHY you are wanting to be alone.

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I guess I may have made it sound more dower than it is. Before I came out to my partner I think I was was actually wanting more alone time (we live apart but close to each other), then once I let everything out I really felt closer to her. I've had these fantasies since I was kid though and they've manifested themselves in various ways, but they don't upset me or cause me to do anything. 

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Why yes. I'm currently in a relationship, but I sometimes wonder whether or not, I really need it. I'm personally emotionally retarded and those emotions need to be processed through my framework of understanding. I really want to be with my partner, but I'm really slow when it comes to emotions.

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