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How do you share your space with others?


sunmarsh

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Folks on the ace/aro spectrum are incredibly diverse in the ways they share their space (personal, romantic, sensual, emotional etc.) with others. How do you share your space with people you care about, or how do you keep your distance? What is important to you in others that keeps you connected, or what do you like about yourself that keeps you content with being in your own company? 

 

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EDIT: Just to clarify what I meant by this because I received a question/realize I have been intentionally vague...

 

I'm curious about how other people experience their sexuality (or lack thereof) in physical space (with others). I was specifically interested in what sort of things people enjoy doing with those they care about (more physically oriented, like holding hands, cuddling etc). But I wanted to be inclusive to those who might not enjoy physical contact, or who might prefer being by themselves. And so I opened it up to 'emotional space' or, about what topics or in what ways do you like to communicate with others in order to feel close to them (even if you're not physically close to each other). And then I opened it up even more to include what you like about yourself (in case you don't like being physically or emotionally attached to other people) and what are the things you do/think/feel that make you feel more yourself or that help you to get to know yourself. 
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For me personally the definition of space is not only the physical but mental and emotional as well. Each of my relationships with people is different. And the distance too shrinks or expands that way. I love my own company and never have felt the need or trust to pour out my mental/emotional/vulnerable states with anyone. I prefer confiding and coiling within myself for the most intimate aspects of my life. Share with my parents what I can relating to everyday affairs. Colleagues deserve a good distance and friends....depends person to person. With strangers, sometimes the occasional sharing, that's all. On the physical plane I don't like being hugged and kissed by everyone.

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i dont understand the whole "share space" i hang out with people and if they get touchy i tell them to rack off. 

friendship is from the belt up i reckon 

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SamwiseLovesLife

I'm Ace-spectrum rather than fully Asexual so I don't know if my different experiences are due to that; that said I personally am very happy to be touched by/touch others, share my personal space (I don't really have a personal bubble, any closeness is fine) and emotionally share myself with the people I care about. Anyone that knows me would say I'm usually the one initiating the touching/hugging/whatever and I'm pretty much a no-holds-barred zone :)

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once i really get to know someone i sorta want to cuddle them, but i'm also aware that this isnt the most common things for friends to do? or maybe im just paranoid about it being taken the wrong way, either way, i tend to only cuddle family. I do sorta awkwardly pat my friends on their heads though, i know at least two of my friends dont like hugging, but im a very sensual person, i suppose this is my compromise? i hope they don't mind it too much. other than that, i give up my time. My time is very important to me, i like to spend it doing things i enjoy, or spending time with myself, but when i care about people i spend more time doing tings that they might like. I dont do that for people i dont care about, at least not past the point of politeness. Like if i want to watch a show together, but my roommate wants to watch games, i might try to get her to watch the show, but if she isnt easily convinced ill give in and play the game with her. I also like to make food for those i care about, o want to be friends with. Spontaneous cookies are always fun. I dot know, i guess im still trying to figure myself out :)

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I’m admittedly a rather difficult person to get close to, partly cause I’m such a harsh critic about a lot of things. I’m not really physically affectionate, and many of my feelings are rather subdued so I’m rather emotionally restrained. No one really gets the full picture with me; that’s not to say I’m not friendly, it’s just I don’t let anyone know exactly what’s going on in my mind. Even with friends, there’s a part of me I keep inaccessible. I let my guard down around family, but there’s secrets I hide even from them. I keep many people at a friendly distance. I try to be amiable and polite, but true closeness is exceedingly rare for me. I guess I’m a bit distrusting. Perhaps it’s cynical, pitiable, or depressing, but I am who I am and I try to live as happily as I can given the personality I’ve been dealt. I suppose overall I’m not necessarily disgusted by intimacy, but I don’t really seek it out and it requires a great deal of trust on my end for me to accept it.

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paperbackreader

Hmm "space". 

 

Fist bumps / head pats / shoulder punches / leaning on each other's hands / side without bum touching = just about right 

Hugs / cuddles / spooning / sitting tightly close to each other = too much

 

I've never had a SO relationship before but I have some friends whom I'm really close with but are really far away physically and I rent out rooms in my home to people I occasionally do activities with - and that sort of half-close half-arms-length distance is just about the right space for me. 

 

I have a dysfunctional relationship / preoccupation with my job though. It occupies a lot of space and time. I'm working on diversifying my achievables so it takes up less space!!!

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